Thursday, March 23, 2017

A Mama of Two Minds (Day 1 of 13)

I was thinking last night as I ached to just be able to stay home and snuggle my kids. I'm just letting you know I was actually thinking (wink).  That in itself with the sleep deprivation is a feat.

With these huge medical decisions, my brain seems to split and argue with itself.

It looks something like this.

Timothy is happy, why take a risk to do what some doctors even refuse to repair at this age?

Walking...running...do you think he's going to be a teen and say, "Mom, no big deal that you didn't give me that chance?"

Everyone is born differently though.  Timothy's joy comes from the inside.  I honestly think he was born with it.  I think the joy would still be there.  The risk of blood loss alone should make you reevaluate.

Really, life's risks are inherent.  We take risks daily...even with traveling by car...to improve our lives in some way....even if the risk is taken just to work for money to be able to eat.  Is this risk not worth it?

You have to weigh the greater risk.  Is it really worth it if something seriously goes wrong?  Are you going to look back and wish you'd thought longer about this?

A Life or death risk is almost daily.  Who knows what another driver will do at 70 miles an hour?

Seriously?  You need to back off.  This is my son.  Don't compare this surgery to the risk of driving.

The reality is, we don't know what tomorrow will bring at all...or if we will even wake up tomorrow.  Giving Timothy the best quality of life IS our job.

The risk may do exactly the opposite of that though.

Then the third voice charges in, splintering the door like a bear burst through it...a mama bear...words scattering as if blown in a hurricane.

We did NOT bring him home to live in fear, but give him what should've been given him in the first place!!!  You need to suck it up buttercup (sorry if that offends some, but really...this voice is VERY loud and extremely forceful) and deal with your emotions.   God lined everything up perfectly.  You KNOW this is THE plan...HIS plan.  

So that's just a glimpse of what goes on in my mind.  I'm sure you can guess what voice wins.

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We are now in the New Jersey/Philadelphia area.  The family we normally stay with is ill, but we will be stalking them soon enough (chuckle)....as soon as their stomach virus has passed.  I feel a little like we are coming home here in a way...to friends.  We are staying at the preacher and his wife's house for now as they opened their hearts and home to our family.  They are on their own trip right, so it's quieter than I'm used to.

I have a couple friends keeping me company though.




Please keep praying friends.
(The last post explains exactly why.)

Here are  our prayer requests:
*That the surgery goes better than ever expected and that God guides the surgeons hands and decisions. (Dr. VB)
*That there is minimal blood loss.
*That the casting is the least of extremes necessary (not splits position) and there is no swelling.
*That pain is less than expected and managed well.
*For Timothy to emotionally do well through this, trusting us.
*For healing to be thorough and no further surgeries necessary for his hips.
*For the trip back to be "doable" and very uneventful.
*I ask for prayers as well, for me.  Please pray I make the right decisions and am able to rest and stay well.
*Please pray for the family at home to stay safe and for it to be a peaceful time for them.

Adoption:
*Please pray our LOA comes in this week.
*Please pray God touches hearts and we can meet this matching grant in the next few weeks.
*Please pray God protects Grace and Glory.

Others:
*Please pray for the Smith family at the loss of their precious Daniel.
*Please pray for the Kelly family.  This young family suffered the loss of the mother, father, and two of their children.  Please pray for their two remaining children and grandmother who survived the fire.  I cannot imagine.
*Please pray for my friend "M" who has a new blessing and is in the process of transition.  Please pray for NO hiccups between the many parties involved.
*Please pray for my friend "K" and her husband and child.  They are at the date of when their baby should've been born (who went to be with Jesus). 
*Please pray for many in the battle of discouragement/feeling of failure.  This seems to be the tactic the master of lies is using with MANY right now.  It's dark and a twisting that satan likes to do.  Please pray protection for all those facing this right now.
*Please pray for Brandi (someone precious to me) who is facing surgery on her leg right now, that it goes perfectly.

"Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,

    your faithfulness to the skies." Psalm 36:5

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We continue to ask for prayerful support as we seek to meet our matching grant with LifeSong for Orphans.  We raise $4000 and they will double it.  We cannot use any of our own money.  Money can be donated online or a check can be sent (with our family name and number on it) sent directly to them.  The directions are on the same link below.  We have been told to expect (if normal can be expected) our next paper for the girls within the week.

LifeSong for Orphans Matching Grant~Family #6758

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In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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