Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Popular and "I will go" (Day 3 with Timothy)

I was once told this was a popular country to adopt from.

Popular like how?  Like the Avengers.... or Sketchers?  Like Chipotle... or getting a tattoo?

I can guarantee it's not popular to be an orphan.  That's for sure.

It's not popular to be left alone as a child, waiting to be found.

We went to the Jade Buddha Garden where 
Timothy was found today.

My son didn't feel popular that day.  I can promise you that.

Popular to adopt from here? Really?

These children didn't feel popular.

I don't think the five year old with Down Syndrome (front left) felt part of the "in crowd".  She wouldn't meet my eyes.  She didn't know how to.  No one had given her that kind of attention.  Being non verbal they may easily be cared for, but not related to.

Our son's friend (middle crib on right) at 2 1/2 years old didn't feel popular.  He felt left by the only child in the room that would chat with him, our Timothy.  He didn't feel trendy as he lay with no mattress, taking a nap on only a board in his crib.

The child you can't see, didn't feel the apple of ones eye.

A one year old lay there, her head flatter than I've ever seen from not being picked up.  She was awake, but cringed away from my touch. She wasn't scared, you could see that....rubbing her back seemed to hurt her.  We suspect she just wasn't touched....touched equaled pain.

As we walked to the next room, clothes (interchangeable between children) hung on the rails to dry.  There were no UGGS or designer purses.  Popularity was no where to be found.

We passed into a room filled mostly with children with Cerebral Palsy.  The potties placed in a crib as to not have to take a child out.  Most of the children were too big for these cribs.  What does that do?  It can cause the muscles to contract and contort to fit that crib.  I eyed a little girl, maybe eight (it's hard to tell by size).  You could see her "in there" though she couldn't meet anyone's eyes.  She just didn't have that kind of cognition or control.  I reached over and stroked her cheek.  Oh my Lord in Heaven (not said with any kind of disrespect, but calling on Him) her perfect and beautiful smile that lay in a contorted body.  I reach over again a ran my finger down her cheek...again the smile.

Oh God.....

My heart screamed, broke, and cried.  This country is not popular to adopt from when this precious gift from God remains.

Lexi and I took a breath as we left..... trying to reign these overwhelming emotions in.


I long to see someone stand up in a crowd and say, "I will go."  Then another, "I'm going too."
A third slowly, almost battling with the internal decision says, "I'm going." They all walk out.

As I watched the trees speeding by during the hour and a half long drive back to the hotel, I thought about what would...could happen.

I pictured the five year old at the table, a mommy patiently touching the bottom of her chin, teaching her to make eye contact...and seeing the tiniest of first smiles form on this child's face.

I pictured the child, in pain from touch, going to therapy sessions with her new parents...teaching her touch will eventually not be painful. Mommy with lotion in her hand slowly massaging the tiny foot.  The therapist sharing insight on what could help.

I picture a little girl with THE perfect smile, not able to move on her own, with a Daddy standing over her whispering, "It's time to wake up princess."

This could all come from  the three little words, "I will go."  I will walk away from my comfort, because God is not about comfort.  I will do "hard", because Jesus did hard.  I will go against all else in the room, because my God is not about popular.

I'm not sure we will ever fully process what we saw today.   We won't "get over it" or "go on and leave it behind".  If we did any of those things we would dishonor the memories of seven little ones we saw today who are not popular by any of the world's standards.

Instead we will struggle with a memory that our hearts and brains long to scream, "This is not true.  It can't be."


Today our hearts we broken all over again.  On one hand we had one smiling little boy...

Timothy and his Nanny
Yes, he looks worried, not smiling.

On another hand these song lyrics ran through my head....

I woke up this morning
Saw a world full of trouble now
Thought, how'd we ever get so far down
How's it ever gonna turn around
So I turned my eyes to Heaven
I thought, "God, why don't You do something?"

Well, I just couldn't bear the thought of
People living in poverty
Children sold into slavery
The thought disgusted me
So, I shook my fist at Heaven
Said, "God, why don't You do something?"

He said, "I did, I created you"

If not us, then who
If not me and you
Right now, it's time for us to do something
If not now, then when
Will we see an end
To all this pain
It's not enough to do nothing
It's time for us to do something

I'm so tired of talking
About how we are God's hands and feet
But it's easier to say than to be
Live like angels of apathy who tell ourselves
It's alright, "somebody else will do something"
Well, I don't know about you
But I'm sick and tired of life with no desire
I don't want a flame, I want a fire
I wanna be the one who stands up and says,
"I'm gonna do something"

If not us, then who
If not me and you
Right now, it's time for us to do something (yes, it is)
If not now, then when
Will we see an end
To all this pain
It's not enough to do nothing
It's time for us to do something

We are the salt of the earth
We are a city on a hill 
But we're never gonna change the world
By standing still
No we won't stand still 

If not us, then who
If not me and you
Right now, it's time for us to do something
If not now, then when
Will we see an end
To all this pain
It's not enough to do nothing
It's time for us to do something
It's time for us to do something 

"Do Something" by Matthew West

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,  I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?  And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’  And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers,[a] you did it to me.’
Matthew 25:34-40

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In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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