Monday, April 13, 2015

The News (Part 2) ~ Our Eyes are on the Sparrow

Several of you have been waiting awhile.  You’ve known we had more news. You’ve been patient.

Now I admit the urge to mess with you.  I can’t help it.  It’s in my nature.

This is BIG though.  My guess is that many of you have done just that...guess.

And we need prayers...OH YES, WE NEED PRAYERS....no joke...no messing....

Yet instead of just sharing, below is a post written by our oldest daughter Sarah.

Read on and I promise, you can join our family in a beautiful journey.

No harm, no foul...and no messing.

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Jonathan.

When we come to subjects that are painfully close to my heart, this is perhaps one of the closest.

When I learned of his death, I was in shock. My eyes were overflowing with tears, but my heart did not feel and my mind did not register what had just happened-not until an hour or two later.

There are still times where I picture him sitting across the table from me, when I imagine meeting him in Heaven, when I hear his name spoken by a stranger and feel it in my heart. I wonder what he will look like when I see him, or what he will say.

What a precious treasure the world lost when he left. What a great boy Heaven gained.

I can't tell you he was super smart, or athletic, or anything that the world would see that would set him apart as different or "special". I can't say that the world, the nation, or even the village recognized its loss when he died. I can't say that the look in his eyes will be missed by anyone except my family, who only saw it in pictures.

He survived nine years on this earth, invisible, and then was taken away. There are an estimated 143,000,000 orphans in this world, and out of those it is estimated that 15,000 die a day from hunger, as we assume my brother did. 15,000 lives snuffed out in 24 hours.

When it's just a statistic that is written out, you can just shake your head and then move on with your life heedlessly, because when read, that is all orphans are- numbers. 15,000 kids. Just numbers.

If you have kids, look at them. Count them. Maybe 1, 2, 3, or more. Imagine each of them being limited to a number. How horrible and unfeeling would it be if someone you knew only referred to your children as 1 or 2- and these are children that have parents or relatives or friends to defend them, to make it clear that they do HAVE A NAME to whoever would speak as if it were otherwise.

Then there are the kids that are daily spoken of in this way, who have no one to defend them. And summed up not even in their own numbers- orphan 13,456 or orphan 4,579. Instead a child that died motherless and fatherless is only 1 in 15,000. Why? Because without someone to speak up for said child, it's so easy to look at them, as such.

But when I think of Jonathan, I do not think 1/15,000. I think little brother. Precious treasure. Something beautiful with so much that the world will never see. I see value, and loss on my part that I will never see him on earth in person. We should be ashamed that kids are summed up like this, and in such a way that we can sigh sadly then move on with their lives.

Because when I look at my siblings, I don't see numbers. Sure, other people do, in fact most do. TEN kids right? TEN. Sadly it doesn't feel like many, but people view it as such. Actually during some of the latest adoptions, it was obvious that people did not think that we were capable. They thought "what about the kids you already have? Won't that take away from them and their future?" And now I understand why they said that. Because they did not see Bekah and her gorgeous smile and bubbly giggles, or Gabe and his mischievous grin and twinkling eyes, or Jael our ray of sunlight, or Ben with Downs Syndrome whose smiles are both heart-warming and heart-breaking. No. They saw child 5, child 7, child 8, and child 10. One out of 143,000,000 transferred to one out of 10.
 
They didn't see treasures. They saw statistics.

And see- now I get it. I used to just not understand how a person could look at you and think you are crazy for leaving the 99 to gather the 1. I mean hey, YOU HAVE NINETY-NINE. Why in the world would you bother with ANOTHER one?

They did not see value in that one. They saw numbers, when the shepherd saw individual treasures. And that is how God has opened my family's eyes, and my own eyes- these kids are no longer numbers, they have names. Thoughts. Fears. The only difference being they were forced to grow old far too young.

So what 15,000 children died today without mothers to kiss their boo-boos and fathers to tickle them until their sides ache with giggles? So what if a child died after living a life of nightmares without parents to run to, or siblings to cuddle with? So what if they didn't have covers to hide under when they felt they saw monsters in the closet, or a shoulder to cry on when they were hurt?

So what if that was my little brother?

So what. It's just one child in 15,000 that won't wake up tomorrow morning.

I'm not saying this to guilt you, but to explain why in the world we have continued adopting. It is so easy for me, in spite of all the siblings I have, to also look at these kids as numbers. It's so easy when you are not looking in their eyes, when you are not thinking of the nights they are alone, when you refuse to admit that children's teeth rot in their own mouths because the orphanage cannot or will not brush their teeth.

It's so easy for me when I'm not looking at a scar on Ben's arm, wondering if he inflicted it on himself or if someone else inflicted it on him. When I'm not looking at what looks like a 4 year old and trying to process that he has been on earth 11 years. It's too easy. Too easy to forget that my brother was a statistic to someone else.

When I think about it, that is when it threatens to overwhelm me.

That is why in spite of the lack of support, the confusion, the flat out anger, the exasperation that others have shown us when it comes to our adoptions in the past, we have continued our journeys. Because we do not see numbers. We see children.

OUR children.
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not a number, but our beautiful sparrow.

Introducing...that we have another...
Timothy Bryan, our newest son
(We will add his cultural name when we are free to reveal it.)


Side note: We have had nothing but joy and support from those few that know, but my daughter's heart and words say a lot of what reality is often for many adoptive families (including ours at certain times).

(More of his story coming soon.)

CELEBRATE!!!!!!!




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Adoption Prayer....
1. Please pray we bring glory to God through this journey.2. Please continue to pray for protection over Timothy, our family, and anyone involved in this process (physical, emotional, and spiritual).
3. Please continue to pray that there are no hiccups. That paperwork and approvals fly quicker than imagined.
4. Please continue to pray for provision. We still have quite a ways to financially go.

6 comments:

  1. I can't remember how I came to your blog but we've followed and prayed for your family for a couple of years now. Today, we rejoice with you and pray your newest treasure home quickly.

    (And might I say - isn't he precious!?)

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  2. God is so good! I have been extremely blessed by watching the miraculous change in precious Ben, all because of your familiy's love and care. Recently The Lord led me to begin praying that, when the time was right, He would lead you to another orphan who needed the love you could give.
    Praise The Lord!!!!!!!

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  3. I cnat believe youve been keeping this a secret... he is gorgeous. Where is he from? When do you get him? I need details, lady!

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  4. Hooray! I can't wait to hear more!

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  5. Absolutely ecstatic for your family! Praying for your newest addition and all the transitions to come! God bless😊

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  6. I knew it! LOL!!! (((HUGS))) Happy dance!!
    Sarah that was beautifully written! I can't wait to see who the Lord sends your way to adopt. :o)
    praying for precious Timothy!

    ReplyDelete

In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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