Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Revamped and Rewritten "Epiphanies and Lies" (When You Feel Like You Constantly Fail)

Originally posted in 2011, I thought it might be time to rewrite and repost this today.  I was thirty nine when this was originally posted, at forty three many of my battles are exactly the same...that screaming in your ear that you're not good enough.  

That's not God's truth.  We are never "good enough".  We don't have to be (though we strive to follow in Christs' footsteps).  We are sanctified, washed clean, and covered with the blood of Christ Jesus.

Here is the newest, revamped and rewritten version of "Epiphanies and Lies".  

Side note: You may notice, in my blog posts, that I don't capitalize satan's name.  I refuse to show him any respect.  He has none in my book.  Some may feel it's a matter of proper English, and I get that.  I'm just a rebel (


Oh, it's not that bad. Today was one of those days. I didn't sleep well last night.  I woke up to spend time with God and just felt this rebelliousness in me.  Truthfully, it felt yucky (mommy dictionary is open).  The kids are being good (though sweet Ben is testing limits), but my nerves are "buzzing" today. It was a day where I am tired and struggling with many instances of others "not thinking it through" and little hurts.  I'm worried in my "Mommy Brain" about a couple of situations and feel desperately inadequate.  In other words, it's a day like most of us have now and again...or a week like we all have now and then.

Ben laying down on the couch beside me today.  

The triplets at play.

Yet the difference in today is that when satan started working on me, I knew he was lying.  It doesn't always make it easier to fight, but it's a start.

"He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies." John 8:44b

Did you read that? Lies are his native language. It's not the exchange student in the back of the room struggling for words.  It's the college professor, teaching "Lies and How to Become a Success Through Them" on a doctorate level.

"You're a failure"
"You're not good enough, completely stupid."
"They're pretending to like you, but they really don't"
"See, no one listens to you. You're a lousy parent."
"You're not pretty enough or skinny enough"

"Why would God talk to You? Have you looked in the mirror called reality?"
"Why would God answer YOUR prayers?"

The lies rest in the lap of satan. Oh, we are all far from perfect and we all have times in our lives where we are faced with the knowledge we need to change, but God's soul (yes, I meant to spell it that way) purpose is not destruction.  THAT is satan's job.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

GOD is reconstructive (even when it hurts).
satan is destructive.

GOD is always honest in His instruction, telling painful truths to reconstruct us to His tool.
satan is the master of lies, telling us lies in a way that will only cause us harm.

GOD brings life.
satan causes death.

GOD numbers our days until we can be with Him.
satan tries to cut short our days with depression or suicide.

There's a pattern.

GOD says things such as, "You are turning from me and letting others opinions be your master."
satan says, "You are a failure, AGAIN, no one likes you."

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39

GOD says things such as, "Your children are not listening, just as you have not listened to me, in their rebellious spirit.  Turn to me as the example of the Ultimate Father.  I can heal even this."
satan says, "You're no good as a parent. You've made a mess of your kids. You can't undo this."

"Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he saved them from their distress.
20 He sent out his word and healed them;
    he rescued them from the grave." Psalm 107:19-20

GOD says things such as, "Your body is mine. You need to grow and treat it with the respect I want you to. Do not let food be your master.  I love you period, but you do need to choose to treat your body, this gift, as I would have you treat it."
satan says, "You're too fat/too skinny, your shaped like a kangaroo on steroids. Man! You are so ugly. There will not be an end in sight.  You can never do better."

GOD says things like, "I'm proud of you my child."
satan says things like, "You don't need God. You are amazing on your own."

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
    my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2

GOD says things like, "I gave you my promise."
satan says, "You will fail."

"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ. And so through him the 'Amen' is spoken by us to the glory of God." 
II Corinthians 1:20

GOD says things like, "I use the weak things of the world and I know you feel weak right now.  I talk to you not because of what you've done, but because of who I AM."
satan says, "Why would God talk to You? Have you looked in the mirror called reality?"

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." I Corinthians 1:27

GOD says things like, "I love you.  I give my children good gifts, but it's in MY timing, not yours child.  Your walk with me is beautiful and I know what you need, what will bring you joy, more than any other."
satan says, "Why would God answer YOUR prayers?"

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11

GOD is reconstructive.
satan is destructive.

When the ugliness and shattering lies rack through my brain, trying to ruin me...I have to ask myself, is this destructive or reconstructive? 

Is this making me want to curl up in a fetal position or straighten my shoulders, take a deep breath, and face the day with God?

Is this making me want to shut the door on the world and God (feeling so completely not worthy) or is this making want to curl up in HIS Arms and let His Love wash over me?

When you have your answer, you know exactly where it came from.

What do you do at that point, when you recognize the lies of satan?  Truthfully, much of the time the fetal position sounds wonderful, BUT if you can claim that spark of flame that resides within you.  There IS something you can do....


Fight with God's truth.  

Take your thoughts captive.  

When satan tells a lie, tell the truth even if you don't know it emotionally.  

Write it on your arm (you know it's one of my favorite things to and on your heart.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." II Corinthians 10:5

My life is not my own, why would my Savior want to destroy it? 

satan has a good reason. We are not his children. He has been disinherited. We are now claiming exactly what he wants.

"Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:17

I ask you to join me in remembering (again) that God loves us. He claims us as His own. He is a jealous God. He wants our untarnished devotion. He cherishes our spirits. He knows our flaws. He has taken our sin.  He will not bend easily to the shedding of His children through the lies of the great deceiver.

" that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power." I Corinthians 2:5


I wrote about this in another area of my life, as you can see in the post
  "The Lies satan Tells Us About Adoption".

1 comment:

In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

Related Posts with Thumbnails