Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Oh Toby, Toby, Toby

Driving up to the light you notice your rear view mirror vibrating, though your radio is silent.  You hear Christmas music booming. that Toby Mac?

You notice a giant beast of a white van pulled up next to you.  Alone in the car is a forty two year old woman with sunglasses perched forever on her head.  Her hair is slightly disheveled, probably from the head banging.  She looks to be singing praises at the top of her lungs.

Poor Toby.

Why does he have to be subjected to this?

Ten Thousand Reasons helped get me through Jonathan's death (still does).
Whom Shall I Fear got us through the trip and hard stuff in the "U".

Toby is my old standby though.  I'm thinking he must feel used.

For two months my decompression chamber had not worked.  The head unit (radio/CD player) was out (something I couldn't be blamed for, unlike the woofers).  I needed it today.  My head hurt. I was exhausted to the point of feeling ill.  I sat parked with the motor running.  I said, "God, please...please let it work."  After two months...

....our head unit became fully functional again...instantly.

God cares about the little stuff.

That brought the tears.

The last six weeks have NOT been bad, but have been exhausting...wearing...and full of prayer.

Six weeks ago a virus crept up on me like a little ferret climbing up your pant leg (I know this from experience).  The virus wasn't harsh (though scratchy...the nails a little long), but I'm...well...impatient.  After about a week or so of not pushing myself, my 800 horsepower psyche kicked in gear.  Wisdom was not in place here, just an over active gear shift. 

I relapsed.

After another week and a half of blicky ferret climbing virus (which included Thanksgiving), I finally started getting well....

....and then the ice storm and fifty-two hours without power hit.

Physically I was spent.

That part I count as cake....but those I love dearly were hurting.  A (close) extended member of the family had a heart attack.  I don't feel (without asking) I can share more than that.   Only that they are home and that they still need to be covered in prayers. Please pray for healing.

We were stuck in ice when we received this news.  When everything in us wanted to get to them...we sat.  It is such a helpless feeling.

Then a few days ago we found out that my grandma had made the decision to go on hospice.  She has not discontinued dialysis, but will not go back to the hospital.  She has had MANY extensive hospitalizations in the last year.  Yes, this is expected.  She's over ninety.  Yes, she passionately, beautifully loves Jesus.  She's ready.

We celebrate for her and we shed tears for us.  She is an amazing woman.  I cannot fly back, but my mom will when the time comes.  Please keep her in your prayers.

I love my grandma.

Side note:  Bekah is named after my grandma.  Grandma's name is Etta Emmaline.   Bekah's second middle name is Emmali.)

Finally, the straw that broke the camels back? (or ferrets)

After trying to figure out how to afford Christmas this year (with so many unplanned events), a check came in the mail.  It was unexpected and a gift from unexpected gift from dear brothers and sisters.

Thus the tears....

So now Toby is subjected to me.  He sings for this head banging forty-two year old mom.  He knows how to get the tears rolling.  (He may be a little manipulative...shhhhh.)

Oh Toby, Toby, Toby......

1 comment:

  1. Obviously you haven't seen the 56 year old woman singing loudly- driving the vibrating/bouncing van to- THE NEWSBOYS!!! The CD- Restart-the deluxe addition!! Is my new addiction!
    (Michael Tait- just sayin!)


In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

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