Tuesday, October 15, 2013

"Yes God?"

It was another day of "the process" in a rural village of the "U".  Paperwork, signatures, running in and running out of buildings.  This day we didn't go alone though.  For the first time in years, Benjamin exited the green gates of the institution.  This time was just to get his passport pictures.  He waited anxiously in his daddy's arms for the taxi.
An empty passport office had Ben very nervous.  Everything was new, not only the surroundings, but every smell, step, sight....new to a boy who had experienced nothing...at least nothing many of us can imagine.  

Our little boy in his mismatched hat.

This day was not forever though.  This day we had to take him back.
From that day on...every time we would come to visit, he wanted to leave through the gates.
He wasn't the first....
Aaron was....
Not long after, when Judd said his final goodbye to the institution, he looked back in fear...trying to run away...not wanting to go back.
Today, JUST TODAY, the facilitator took Boden to get his passport pictures.  When they returned to the institution, he tried to pull away.  He didn't want to go back in. 
We talk about freedom so much. 
As I walk out the door to run to Wal-Mart...
As I curl up on the couch trying to decide if I want to move...
During more serious times...
As I love on my daughter after the amputation surgery that would allow her to walk.
...and as I try to catch her as she runs away on her prosthetics.

As my son hides his face in me at the hospital, his rotten teeth removed, afraid someone would take him away.  His breath now sweet smelling without the rot and decay.
These boys live behind these green gates. 
Their needs extensive after years of systemic neglect.  The institution dealing with what has happened before it, the best that they know how.  In sheds during the day, locked rooms at night and in the rain and snow....medicated. 
The boy/men will see these gates their whole lives.  They are not adoptable.  They are labeled too old.  I see their smiles behind my eyelids when I close them.  "She sees me!" pours out clearly from them.
The tears come whether I want them to or not.  I imagine sitting on the steps with the 5 year old in a eighteen year olds body whispering, "Jesus loves you....Jesus loves you."
It will have to remain in my dreams.
These other boys do not though.  A few have made the very selective list.  Could more be "seen" if those in authority see the love and desire for these boys? YES
Adoption of these broken children of God...fractured by man's sin...will open the door for even more...NOT JUST THESE FEW.
I don't know what to say, so I sit here praying. 
God breathed....
Benjamin, Jonathan
and Boden
into hearts..... of those so human themselves, not worthy of these gifts.  We listened, by some miracle of God.  We are not good or great.  We are blessed.
I don't know what to say so I sit here praying. 
Praying for God's breath to carry the rest of these boys into more, very human, hearts.  That someone...a family...many families...put aside the worries of this world and listen.  Is it scary? Yes.  Is it amazing and blessed? More than you could ever imagine.
God's blessings, in the form of little boys, are waiting....
In a little rural village in the "U"....
Waiting for freedom, for love, and for family...
Waiting for God's breath to carry them into hearts around the world.  Waiting for hearts to say,
 "Yes God?"

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14


  1. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. TEARS. Lord - Send families. Please send families. Julia


In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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