Thursday, June 6, 2013

Today, Registry, and...The Avengers????

Five thirty in the morning is WAY to early for a sane person to awaken (thus I woke up at 5:30 this morning).  I apologize to my friends who get up that early, but then again insanity is a guarantee if you're my friend.

We picked up Ben at 7:30 from the institution. 

Side note: The feelings you have in this situation are so odd and contradictory (kinda like the parenting you have to do).  I missed Benjamin.  He's our son.  Yet, I had a little trepidation over what the day might bring (as of yesterday, not this morning).  Not fear...just trepidation....

You guys have been praying, haven't you?

When we got in the car Benjamin decided to play with a child's towel I had brought (in case he threw up again).  He pulled it over his head and played "Cuckoo" (Peek-a-boo). He then left it there and proceeded to fall fast asleep for the entire trip to "O" (two hours away).  Amazing....

Me and My Little Ghostie
No, I wasn't posing (though this picture makes me laugh), I was hoping...praying
I wouldn't wake up my sleeping baby.

The towel/blanket idea was a suggestion from a sweet friend, but we didn't implement it...Ben did.  It blocks out so much sensory input in order to cope better. 

When we arrived at the passport office, I found out this was not a normal day for processing.  They agreed to take us today though (thanks to our facilitator's planning ahead).  Twenty minutes later we were done.  We needed to wait for just a little bit to get a form that had the possibility of being WONDERFUL (more later...and it was).

We sat down at an outside coffee shop.  Ben struggled...A LOT.  All this new "input" was overwhelming to him.  He started the slapping, kicking, and pinching.  The yelling wasn't so much though. 

See, my brother really is here!

A brief respite...

As I sat there with Ben in my lap I figured it out...the hold.  I've struggled to find a way to hold him that didn't let him harm others or himself (when he was feeling overstimulated) that was tender and not awkward.  I found it today...AND it's recreating what he should have had in the first years anyway.

I hold him like a baby, but with tender firmness.  His head is just above the crook of my arm to keep him from head butting.  His arms are tucked between his body and mine to keep him from slapping/pinching/scratching himself or others.  My arm is strung over his legs, reaching under them to keep them from kicking.  I pull him into my body and cuddle him until he relaxes.  We then "try again" and he sits in between my brother and I.

You would not believe what a difference this made to my heart.  Tenderness, bonding, and not getting smacked at the same time.  Seriously AWESOME....

The way back was not quite as easy, but figuring the hug/hold out brought me such peace...just to be able to show Ben love when he's trying to push us away. 

My brother Steve was awesome...catching on to counter-intuitive parenting like a pro.

That's the wild thing about parenting so differently...Thomas and I have to (at times) detach ourselves and remember exactly why our son is feeling what he's feeling...fear, sensory overload from the new sites (he's never been anywhere...just an orphanage, that wasn't so great, and the institution), sensory overload from constant touch for hours (when he's had almost none that isn't rough), and having to come out of his own mind (truthfully) and interact with others (which he doesn't really know how to do yet).

When we remember his history, it's SO much easier to handle it right.

Sooo....I do think, after such a rough day on Tuesday, I need to share the blessing of today (another one).  When at the passport office, we were told that they would not issue the passport until Benjamin is off the orphan registry.  This posed a problem as the registry personnel said they would not take Benjamin off the registry until we brought his passport in. Hmmmm....

So the passport office issued a note.  This note said that it was mandatory that he was taken off the orphan registry.  Would they listen?

After MUCH going back and forth between the registry and institute, Ben was taken off the orphan registry TODAY.  We didn't expect this until next week!!! It still amazes me to write.

Now, the ONLY thing holding anything up (like going home) is the passport.  PLEASE PRAY THE PASSPORT COMES IN QUICKLY and we can be home by a week from tomorrow.  There are other important prayer request (immediate ones) below, but that's a BIGGY.

In addition to the good news, I had another train of thought today.

I know some people may wonder why I'm sharing so much.  They may wonder what good this will do. 

The reality is, God does not promise following Him will be easy.  Somewhere along the way there seems to be an idea that has developed that if it's hard, it must not be God's will.  Truthfully, I don't mean this to sound harsh, but when I hear that I wonder what Bible is being read from.  The examples I see in the Bible of following God DO have blessing (AMAZING blessing), but also much prosecution, hardship, alienation, etc. etc. etc.

Hard stuff didn't happen just to people that ran away from God, but often those who followed Him...left everything...and ran TO Him.

This is NO pat on the back to us.  We've done our share of running away and needing to be beat about the head.

Yes, we lost our son.  Jonathan is in Heaven.  My heart aches for him.  Occasionally I look around, feel tears on my heart, and wonder where he was buried.  Jonathan is with Jesus though.

Some may have the impression that when the BEST happens to our son (being with Jesus), this could mean that God wanted us to stop.

My mind struggles to wrap around this.  Jonathan was a blessing...both in his life and death (tears).
To stop listening to God because this was the most painful thing we had been through, our sons death, that just doesn't compute.  Hardship doesn't mean to stop listening or means we lean on God, listen to God, seek Him, and let HIM carry us an even greater way.

There are those that may read this blog and say, "I really think they are making a mistake."  Yes, there may people that may say that. 

I say, look to the Bible.  Does the Bible back up what you are saying if you look at it from a place where you are truly searching?  What is the alternative that you would expect ANY family in our place to do?  If you have time, you may want to look at this post..."The Alternative".

I'm not sure why I wanted to address that today, but I know (when I share the hard stuff) some may interpret it the wrong way.  This is not a judgment on anyone, but a genuine desire for a greater understanding in the journey to follow God.  I KNOW I fall short.

GOD SHINES in the hard stuff.  HE is ever present to help us through it.  Adoption is NOT always easy.  It comes (in the first place) through trauma...loss.  It IS a battle worth fighting.  Our children are worth it!


Random Thought of the Day:
Mexican Jumping Llamas (like jumping beans, but MUCH more fun)

The Avengers in interpretive dance...think about it.  (Ya, my brother is good at this random stuff.)

Random Pictures of the Day:

Church in the city of "O"
I bet you didn't know "Furby" was international.  The facilitator asked what Furby was? Go ahead, describe them.
Oh, like you didn't expect it.

Skype Pictures of the Day 
Ya, I know...but this is our cat and he was feeling left out.

 Today, apparently, she is Cinderella again.  You just missed the dancing.

 The prayers concerning next week (June 7th-June 15th) .  We desire God's will above all else.
1.  That things go quicker than we could imagine and God's glory shines above all else.
2. That our medical allows us to skip the normally required test.
3. That my brother is able to see and enjoy the country and fall in love with it as we have...God touching his heart.
4.  That we get a quick embassy date and ARE HOME BY FRIDAY, JUNE  14th.
4. PLEASE pray that, not only does Benjamin do wonderful and rest a lot on the flight, but please pray that we get good seating.  Some that we've had are...ummm...not good, but also would NOT be good for Ben to be in if he stims.  We are praying for bulk head seating and that we are all together.  Please pray that our trip is safe.
Prayers for Others:
Please pray for a family dear to us that is fighting for the life of a family member against the addiction to drugs.  Please pray he turns to God and seeks help. 
Please also pray for my brother, sister-in-law, and niece (in a different state) that are dealing with a neighbor that is mentally unstable.  There is limited the police can do since others in the neighborhood are afraid of retaliation should they report him.  It's serious and his actions toward our family members are scary, as well as some of the local children.  I will be sharing more of the story and asking for intense prayers in the next 36 hours.  It's a very serious situation.  Thank you!!!!

ALL Adoption Prayer Requests (Current):

*Please pray that God continues to prepare Benjamin's heart and calms his spirit.  Giving him restfulness.  Please pray he attaches and learns to love (and learns what family is) quicker than we can fathom.  Please pray for his fears to dissipate. This will be scary for him.

*Please pray for protection of Ben when we are not with him...not only from others, but also from his fears and anger (anger because we left him and fear of us not returning).

*PLEASE pray that the master of lies hands are tied. 

*Please pray that the small town's gates are “figuratively” thrown down and God’s love floods the streets.

*Please pray our children at home are safe...physically/emotionally/and spiritually.  Attacks on the kids happened last time we were gone on the trip to bring Jael home.  PLEASE cover them. 

*Please also pray as our children at home try to stay organized in our absence, that things go smoothly for them and time passes quickly.

*Please pray for my husband and I (and brother), for our SAFETY and that we remain WELL.  We are in a VERY rural with no one that speaks English most of the time.  We are also exhausted (physically and at times emotionally).  This can really wear on the spirit at times.  Please pray we are physically rested.

*Please pray for my husband, mom,  and friends as they care for our children (safety, smoothness, etc.)

*Please pray that the current trip has a speed that can only be explained as a blessing of God. 

*Please pray that our trip home with Ben is peaceful and uneventful.  Please pray that calm (beyond understanding) reigns for our sweet Benjamin and that we see what we need to do to help him.  Please pray he is able to sleep a lot on the plane, which should make it easier on him.

*That ALL paperwork needed is sped (by God's Will) in country (with NO hiccups).

*Please pray for comfort as we continue to mourn Jonathan.
*Please pray for us to have a connection with the head of the institution. God has given us a love for the head of the institution and the caregivers.  Also, please pray for our connection to those in the village.

*Please pray that the head of this institution shows us where Benjamin has resided these last two years...and around the institution and laying rooms.  This is a wish, but we respect their decision.  Please also pray we are able to see/meet a few other boys that we pray for.

 *Please pray the trip  itself is smooth.  There are NO issues.  That every blip, every ironed out before us.

*Please pray that our lines of communication with our children are successful (Skype, Magic Jack, international texting).  We are in a very rural region.


"About Benjamin He said:'Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.' Deuteronomy 33:12


  1. Thank you for sharing. It means so much to me to watch you walk this journey. It is humbling and ways you may never know. You are in my prayers as you love and parent Ben. May the Lord and His angels continue to watch over and speed your journey home.

  2. Oh how exciting! Praying you come home NEXT week!! :o)


In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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