Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Story of Benjamin~Our Family

The pain of childbirth brought about what she didn't expect.  He wasn't what her family called normal.  Acceptance was not even on the radar.  She would be a pariah. 

This little boy was relinquished, parental rights terminated legally.  He was alone on this earth.  He had no one.  Only one picture remained to commemorate this little blessing. 


He was placed in a orphanage filled with many cribs.  Rows and rows of cribs lined the walls.  These were their cages.  Special needs still often held fear.

This was not the place for a child to be transferred to.  This was not one of the "good" places (if a good institution exists compared to the arms of a mother and father).

This institute was producing small children, skeletal, not growing because they have been living in cribs.  It was developing children who shied away from touch, rocked, and used self harm to comfort themselves.  The scars were visible to those who were close.

"Aloy-sha", as they called him, remained in a crib (as did his brother Jonathan) in solitude....for years and years.

Aloy-sha in 2010 (age 6 1/2-7)
 
Jonathan (thought to be about age 5-6)

At around age 6 1/2, Aloy-sha began to stand.  Tiny and malnourished, institutional autism already firmly in place....



And then one day...one day they were packed up for transfer.  Packed up meant the clothes on their backs (which were often returned).  They had nothing.  Often several were ready for transfer at the same time would be grouped together.  Transfer where?  A mental institution...not for the insane, but for boys AND men who had "special needs"....that were different.

Jonathan went to the laying room and deteriorated rapidly, his special needs more extensive.


 Aloy-sha absorbed what was around him.  He changed.


Our tiny little man survived (because that's all it was).  His brother did not.  On Jonathan's birthday the news was shared that he had gone into the arms of Jesus.  Aloy-sha was alone without his brother.

Across the world, a family mourned.  Yet a little boy across the world known as "Aloy-sha" was able to bring joy in their sadness.   God had led, a family listened.  He was a gift.  A little life, nine years old (almost ten)...delegated to the "invisible" ....moved hearts everywhere.  He was this family's Benjamin.

Five weeks...five weeks from meeting their son Jonathan for the first time...became five weeks until Benjamin was carried by arms IN love for the very first time.

Time passed quickly. His family still in mourning longed to get their tenth child into arms OF love.


It finally happened...boy MET love.

He stumbled, toddling and tipping over, as drugs were still in his system.  On his cheeks were scars...bite marks and others riddled his face.  Around his mouth could often be found blood from where he chewed on his tongue with his blacked teeth, many rotted down to the nubs.


 He didn't know love had been with him all along.  God loved him all along.  It just took awhile for  a family to open their hearts and their ears to his blessing.


They had to leave, but they would be coming back for their son.

Time passed..an entire month...

As they returned, a whirlwind started...court, passports, paperwork...before the ten day wait.



Wait they did...for ten days they watched their son go through withdrawal.  At times he would practically climb out of his skin, attack, pinch, and scratch...others and himself.  None of this his fault...he was just born special, different from what was considered the "norm" and then relegated to a "lost boy".

They witnessed his chronic dehydration and never ending hunger.  They watched as he tried to lick vomit off his own hands.  Benjamin was a broken child, hurt child....who God had plans for...who our Father in Heaven picked out of the muck to rescue him from what man had done.  Man's propensity for sin left our Benjamin broken.  God allowed freedom and the world misused it in sin...harming the most innocent.  At nine years old, the world had aborted him from their hearts, just as they had Jonathan.  God hadn't.....HE rescued them both.

Half of a family waited at home...anxiously awaiting their family to be whole.


 
 
Time went by and the father returned home to be replaced by the mother's brother.

Benjamin's uncle joined them for the last leg of the journey.


As they fought to get Benjamin home, his sweet body was fearful and hyper alert.  It was not easy.  The battle for a child rarely is.

Then one day...after a long journey and nine years (and almost eleven months)....Benjamin found his way home.  All the doors were opened by his Heavenly Father and home he came.

 
 
Though no one was at the airport, accidents and detours taking their toll, the family soon arrived.  It was late and the children greeted their sleepy brother, tearful mommy, and uncle in the car.

The family of eleven became a family of twelve...and they were blessed.







 

 


Ben loves the feel of the trampoline bouncing.

 
Ben had pinched his brother.  This is RARE, but Gabe knew what to do.  He gently took Ben's hand and had Ben redo the action gently while saying, "Nice, Nice".  It's a reprogramming, giving good behavior to children who don't know what to replace the harmful act with, that we have done with a few of our children over the years.


 
Ben climbed on the trampoline (we never allow two on at a time, but made an exception).  Gabe tried to show Ben gently how to bounce, but Ben is not quite strong enough.  He's trying though and that's beautiful to see.

Anna is under there somewhere.
 

 
A new ball game....throwing a ball over the curtain rod.
 



 
These are our twins.  In one month they (Max and Ben) will be the same age...ten.





 
 

Meet "Mr. Awesome"...
 
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Ben is doing wonderfully.  He grows in affection daily. He will meet our eyes for longer and longer each day.  His aggression diminishes.  When he does hit, it's NEVER hard.  His biggest struggle happens when he is tired.  He then stims more and gets slightly more aggravated or aggressive.    He always fights sleep.  We have him in our room RIGHT up against our bed in his bed right now.  He wakes me up by reaching over and gently tapping me.  His laugh is beautiful, though he still is learning proper responses or emotion.  Some emotion he has been taught has been cruel, which is not his fault.  We have not tried crowds again, as we fear this may be overwhelming.  Manic times comes less and less often.  He's amazing...Mr. Awesome.
 
Please continue to pray....
*For Ben's healing.  God knows the ways Ben needs to heal and fissures in Ben needing to be filled.
*For our family, protection again satan's schemes physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
*For Ben's doctor's appointment on Wednesday to be thorough and referrals  to be given to all the doctors needed. We are concerned how long term drug use may affect his kidney's and other vital organs.
*For Ben's teeth to be taken care of quickly and by the hospital we hope for (in order for all costs to be covered and for it to be by the BEST doctors).
*For me to be able to successfully be able to do what I need to for home school, and college for next year...as well as for the extensive lists of "have tos" that I can't delegate.
*That an unnamed need is met.  It's necessary, but we can't figure out how to do it.
 
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Thank you to all who have given.  Many have come to our aid and everything on our list to help Ben (at this point) has been (or is going to be) purchased....EVERY ONE.  Thank you...beyond thank you.
 
"About Benjamin He said: 'Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.' Deuteronomy 33:12

8 comments:

  1. It's Al*yo*sha, right?

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  2. Beautiful!!!!!!! You are in our prayers!

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  3. I am nearly speechless with awe. God is good!

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  4. I love watching the transformations of these children is the short amount of time with love and nourishment.
    pat
    mother of katie from Russia

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  5. When I was left to die at three years old. Jesus was rocking me and sang to me. I can see him doing for Ben and other children too.

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  6. Thank you so much for continuing to share your journey now that Ben is home. It just looks amazing. I love to see him looking so happy and loved.

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  7. Thank you for continuing to share your journey now that he is home. Love to see him happy and loved.

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  8. It's absolutely amazing what a family over flowing with love & good nutrition will do. The difference in him is a miracle. One only GOD can provide. GOD is good.

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In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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