Saturday, June 8, 2013

Day 18 in Eastern Europe~Deep Sigh

I'm sitting here very full tonight.  My stomach overfloweth.  Melanie, the following picture is for you.  Cabbage rolls...I'm just sayin'.

Even after the full meal,  we are feeling the "last few days" drag.  We visit knowing Ben is our son, but so helpless in what we can do.  It just feels like we are biding our time.

We do a lot of walking and taking pictures.  Yes, it's entertaining.  I'm easily entertained, but tell me the next picture isn't super cool. 

She was herding her ducks.  Notice she was not herding her cats (which would make sense).

The goat didn't understand and was jealous of the ducks and not quite understanding why she wasn't herding cats.
Oh, the tragedy...
As we spend our last visits with Ben before taking custody, so much is hitting me.

It's hard to leave the other boys. It makes me physically ill.  They are so precious as they smile and wave whenever they walk bubbling up inside them.  You can see it in their eyes, their faces.

You see how alone, forgotten they are as they sit in hot metal sheds all we hear the groans, screams.  So many who cannot be adopted as they are too old or family is involved.

"As the wheelchair waited at the gazebo, I wondered where the child was that would fill it. 

I heard the creak of the gate and looked up to see a mom supporting her special needs son.  He seemed to have Cerebral Palsy and had his feet standing on his mothers.  This boy, no older than 14 (I'm guessing), started to weep as his mother put him back in the wheelchair.

She did not turn and walk away, leaving the boy crushed.  She pulled him back out of the wheelchair and brought him to a bench.  Her arms surrounded him as he cried.  His face sticks in my mind as his heartbreak was physically visible.  He wanted his mommy and she was leaving him there."

I think we can rush to judgment.  Who would willingly put their children in this situation?  Societal pressure is HUGE.  Culturally we all believe so much.  It's when we start questioning the given, thinking outside the box, that we often grow closer to God. 

Culturally they believe, because of medical care not being available and many having to work, that a special needs child cannot be cared for in the home (I'm not saying it's not hard or will take MUCH sacrifice).  Yet we've seen different in other countries. The need for love trumps all the rest in many parent's minds around the world.  Yet, there are many in mental institutions (even here) who have the love of family.    Could I rip this boy away from his mommy? No, but I think there may be a thought that "this is better".  It's not...every child belongs in a family.  We've seen and will never forget.  I don't judge them.  I saw that mother's eyes.

I won't just miss the children though.  I WILL miss the nurses, the caregivers, the director, the driver and his wife.  These are children of God too.  They need to be marinated in God's love.

It's hard to marry those two thoughts at times. 

As the day continued I continue to feel weary...thin (not as thin as I'd like...laughing)...worn.

We made our way to the main restaurant in the village/small town.

We made our way back to the institute later.

A little bird building a nest just above where Ben likes to play.


His eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot tonight (as many nights).  We have thoughts that we cannot share at this point.

Ben is at the front gate.  He wants to leave...every day.  Soon son...

These apple cherry trees are everywhere and yummy.

An "dohbree dien" kitty? Nope, not this one. Wait, you don't get the inside joke? Woops :).....

And one more day can be checked off.  Day Eighteen in in Eastern Europe is done.  Two more days and we head to the capital.  It's time...oh how it's time.
These pictures show EXACTLY why it's time.
Dad took the computer...crazy kids.

Thomas playing guitar...except he can't play guitar.

Now this is the real talent.
Immediate Specific
*For the passport to come in Tuesday afternoon and for there to be no glitches.
*For our Ben to NOT have to take the test (God's Will first)
*For us to BE HOME by Friday!
*For Ben to be able to eat and drink well without throwing up.
*For Ben to not be afraid/angry and for his aggression to diminish (toward himself and others).
*For peace and strength.  We still need it desperately.
*For Seats (bulkhead seating) together in EVERY flight.  When Ben stims it would be very hard for the person/s in front of us.  Bulkhead seating has a wall in front of us.
*Please pray against any adverse reactions Ben may have as he leaves the institute.
Equally Important if Not Even More Important
*For us to GLORIFY GOD in this whole process.
*For satan's hands to be tied.
*For protection...physical, emotional, and spiritual for ALL of our kids, us, and everyone involved in this process.
*For the boys still in the institution...comfort, protection, and peace that passes understanding.
*For our friend's nephew...that the hold drugs have on him is released and he turns to our Heavenly Father.
*For my brother, sister-in-law, and niece...that they are protected from their unbalanced neighbor and the rest of those involved stop living in fear of retaliation and start reporting the horrible things he is doing.
*For the Cooley family~ I just found out tonight that a friend from the congregation we used to be members of passed away from a long battle with cancer.  She was my age.  Please pray for her family and children...comfort and peace.  My heart is breaking for them.


  1. Without Christian faith how can these people follow anything other than "society". They are like slaves. We must pray for their freedom!:o) (((HUGS)))

  2. Those cabbage rolls were amazing huh... everything else... ahhhh my broken heart you understand!


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