Friday, June 7, 2013

A Pause on Parenting, Borscht, and Skype Goofiness

Today we discussed deep things like cow pregnancy tests (thanks Amber!) and if underwear makes you a superhero (that after walking through the open air market and seeing Superman and Batman underwear).  We also discussed how "apple cherries" (that grow on trees everywhere around here) "grow on you".  This would be uncomfortable. 

This is my brother and I...extremely tired after three days of travel. 

See, brother Steve is here...what a great picture!

This kitty "kinda" likes him...purring and totally limp.
Ok, I'm in love with this cat.  You may find him in my carry-on.  I also just MAY have bought some more barbeque meat cheese because he loves it so much.

Today was fairly non-eventful.  I'm not complaining.

We visited Ben and for the first time EVER, I forgot to take a picture.  In all truthfulness, the visits have taken on a "hard" dimension.  I'm visiting my child, but I cannot care for him, protect him, and parent him the way he needs to be parented.  We don't know exactly what is happening when we are not around, but are seeing behavior that is new (such as him kicking me in the face today).  THIS IS NOT LIKE BENJAMIN.  Something is going on and I will probably never know what.  I ache to protect him.

He is disturbed that he "lost" his daddy.  Though our facilitator explained it to him, in his experience (when someone disappears) those gone never come back.  Thomas and I coming back happened one time and does not block out the fact that for nine years this happened...NINE YEARS.

It stuns me just how much Benjamin has been through.  He has no reason to act any better than he has been taught.  He laughs when injured or injuring someone else.  A thing like appropriate emotions/reactions, learned from birth, have not even been learned.  Truthfully, he probably has seen other boys hit and everyone laughs.  That is appropriate for him...expected.  We cannot expect him to know what he has not been taught.

That's when emotion has to go away and I need to think clinically.  When my son hauls back and smacks me (from sensory overload) and laughs.  Part feels like I should be upset, but I can't be.  I am VERY firm and serious (proper emotions), but I can't expect him to control what he has never controlled before...and mirror what he does not know.  I'm not saying I never feel frustration, just that I try not to and when I do, I don't show it.

It's rough...I just can't parent (yet) the way I need to...ARGGG (Yes, I'm turning into a pirate).  With other families adopting in the future, we cannot jeopardize any relationship.  Nannies may be upset with therapeutic parenting.  We cannot jeopardize other boys finding homes.

So, we bide time.  We know it may be harder in some ways.  We know 24/7 parenting WILL be harder, but we will be beginning real life as a family, getting Ben the help he needs.

We ARE seeing an issue recently.  Ben has trouble keeping down snacks we feed him.  This is our biggest concern in taking custody.  Since rain POURED down today and we only had one visit with Ben, tomorrow we hope to shop for some things to help while it's sunny.  It will all be a guess, but (prayerfully) we will only remain for two to three more days here.  DO NOT get me wrong, we LOVE it here...just miss the kids.  I'm thankful to my family for stepping in with the kids and to my brother for both that and coming here to back me up.  There are times, especially when paperwork is needed, that having another set of hands is invaluable!!!

Tonight we sat down to a homemade meal of Borscht, bread, and strawberry compote (yummy).  I finding I love the food of this culture and (thanks to my sister-in-law) I have some fantastic recipes at my finger tips.  Now to find a recipe for Habash (no clue how it's spelled).

So, I was asked what our schedule from this point on looks like (and how to pray).  Here's the general rundown of possibilities.
Tuesday head to the capital with Ben (take custody..YES!)
Tuesday night or Wednesday~Ben's passport comes in.  PLEASE PRAY IT IS TUESDAY IF IT IS GOD'S WILL.
Wednesday or Thursday~ Ben's medical and embassy date (IF the tests don't come in so we don't need to get it)
Thursday or Friday~ COME HOME!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!

Immediate Specific
*For the passport to come in Tuesday afternoon and for there to be no glitches.
*For our Ben to NOT have to take the test (God's Will first)
*For us to BE HOME by Friday!
*For Ben to be able to eat and drink well without throwing up.
*For Ben to not be afraid/angry and for his aggression to diminish (toward himself and others).
*For peace and strength.  We still need it desperately.
*For Seats (bulkhead seating) together in EVERY flight.  When Ben stims it would be very hard for the person/s in front of us.  Bulkhead seating has a wall in front of us.
Equally Important if Not Even More Important
*For us to GLORIFY GOD in this whole process.
*For satan's hands to be tied.
*For protection...physical, emotional, and spiritual for ALL of our kids, us, and everyone involved in this process.
*For our friend's nephew...that the hold drugs have on him is released and he turns to our Heavenly Father.
*For my brother, sister-in-law, and niece...that they are protected from their unbalanced neighbor and the rest of those involved stop living in fear of retaliation and start reporting the horrible things he is doing.
*For the Cooley family~ I just found out tonight that a friend from the congregation we used to be members of passed away from a long battle with cancer.  She was my age.  Please pray for her family and children...comfort and peace.  My heart is breaking for them.

Without further ado from this VERY homesick mommy...

Skype Pictures of the Day

This is everyone disappearing because they were wrestling.

Sarah didn't want daddy to repeat his very bad joke. 

The triplets had a talking "time out" when they wouldn't stop screaming so we could hear each other.  I told them they could talk if they danced for me...'cause truthfully, it's just so cute!

Look where I am in the picture.  What complete goofballs!

My husband chased our 18 year old through the house so I could get a picture.  He was counting to three here.

SEE! I do have an eighteen year old!!!! He's playing guitar and needs to clean up his room.  Bwahahaha!!! Man, I love that kid!

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