Saturday, May 25, 2013

The Almost Maybe Attack Dog, a Levitating Goat, and a Little Bit of Hard Stuff

Man, you just can't make this stuff up.  Ya, most of it is probably hallucination from lack of sleep, but....(laughing)

We have found our days are finally starting to get into somewhat of a routine. 

We wake up (groggy and wondering who we are and who ate the cookies at midnight), grab a bite of something, and then walk to the Institution.

It's a fairly long walk (this is just part of the second half).  It's about 30 minutes each way...and we tend to explore so it's usually longer.

We think this country has a lot of wisdom.  They tie up the goats where the weeds are high....weed eaters the natural way. Wondering if our city allows goats...hmmm.  Deep thought of the day.

Remember this goat...

Still walking....

Random picture thrown in for artistic content. (Ok, it was thrown in for the cat)

The green gates we looked forward to seeing for months.

Today was a rougher day for some reason.  As we approached the institute all the boys were being very vocal.  They sounded almost agitated.  Benjamin was in the same condition and we don't have a clue why. 

He, very truthfully, had a look on his face that was hard to place.  He couldn't focus for long on any activity, he was agitated, and he was self harming at an accelerated pace.

I have tried hard to figure out how to balance the hope I see and the truth we see as well.  They go hand in hand and can't be separated.

I don't want to paint a dark, bleak picture...when it doesn't always seem dark and bleak.  There is also hope, and glimpses of goodness.

We truly enjoy so much of it here.

But we can't pretend either.  We left the institute this morning sad.  That's the only words I can find.

There are good things that we see.  We have seen several times, glimpses of the boys playing in a grass area, instead of the sheds.  It's not for an extended amount of time, but so good to see.  No toys or balls...but just that they're out there...even allowed to walk around. 

There's a nurse here, Natasha.  There is something about her...a tenderness of her heart. 

The sheds are still active.  The moaning, groaning, rocking, and self stimulating behavior...ever present.  Thomas blocked my view today and said, "Honey, you don't want to see this." as grown special needs men/boys were squatting naked along the fence going to the bathroom.  

Even when there is caring (and I believe there is from several), these boys need families.  NOTHING can replace the love of a family that God created.  There are more boys here...more that live in sheds and in their beds much of the time.  More that look for someone to SEE them.

Benjamin looked in Thomas' eyes today and just held his gaze.  It was like a light slowly going on, knowing he was SEEN. 

Friends, there is almost nothing more "Pro-Life" than seeing an invisible child...a gift from exactly that...a gift.

When we returned to the institute this afternoon, the streets were lined with goats, dogs, cats, and numerous wildlife.  Even a horse and cart passed by.

The weather was beautiful, goats rained from the sky.

Yes, you heard me right. 

To be more specific, THIS goat rained from the sky.

There was this adorable little black goat mowing the lawn.  It was obviously a girl that had given birth recently (if you have to ask....).  That wasn't this goat.  As I watched out of the corner of my eye (I was trying not to step in questionable puddles) another goat fell out of the tree. 

STOP LAUGHING AT ME (you and my husband...sigh)....

Ok, so maybe it jumped over the fence which a tree was in front looked like it came from the tree though.  (STOP LAUGHING AT ME)

Gotta say, weirdest thing to see a goat dropping from the sky.  Once in a life time thing...levitating Goats that is.

This afternoon's visit was much calmer.  Thank you for praying for God to calm Benjamin's spirit.  How well Benjamin is doing can ONLY be attributed to God...beautiful.

Today brought some really neat things for our son.

You see, Benjamin is non verbal.  He grunts and lets us know what he wants, but he does not speak, even his native language.  Today though, when we appeared and daddy immediately started playing with him, he said "DA!" really loud.  We thought it might have been an accident, but he was looking at Thomas and said it a second time.  THIS IS HUGE! Benjamin...precious newest blessing of God to our family...tried to speak today. 
His situation is rough, but God led us to this amazing boy.  Whether he will ever full on speak or not, his eyes speak, his body speaks, his heart speaks.
Praise God as well, as Ben is already starting to WANT us to carry him FACING US.  For a child that still has fear of trusting and loving...
For a child that still has fear to the point of self injuring or smacking us (at times when he's overwhelmed), to want to FACE us (intimacy)....

As you can see, he is facing Thomas in this picture.
While I'm here, I need to mention that the grounds are beautiful.  As I watched my husband walk with Ben in his arms, I heard groaning on the grounds around me.  It's this beautiful sad joy watching.
A dog made it a little humorous though.  A little black dog would follow us, barking and looking like he wanted to "get" us and as soon as we turned around, he'd run and hide.  He was our almost maybe attack dog.   Sooo intimidating....

The boys throwing a stuffed baseball on the roof and watching it roll down (and catching it).  This is Ben's favorite game....
This day was rough, but most likely what we needed to see.  We can't hide reality, but we can thank the caregivers and staff for trying.  The head of the institution (I believe) really does care.  Again, there is just not enough. 
Ben...Ben is a blessing.  This morning was rocky and it probably will not be the last time.  Please continue to pray for the calming of his spirit and also, the restfulness of his spirit. 
I will leave you with our kids back home again (on Skype).  This is our oldest with his baby.  I think they may be in a "relationship".  It's serious too.

 Thank you for continued prayers for our son and for his name to be quickly and easily taken off the orphan registry! I'm about done in, so I'm going to go dream of levitating goats and almost maybe attack dogs.  HUGS!!!!

ALL Prayer Requests

*Please pray that God continues to prepare Benjamin's heart and Ben dreams of us...knowing ways that wouldn't make sense to the world.  Please pray he attaches and learns to love (and learns what family is) quicker than we can fathom.  Please also pray that God calms him and his spirit.  This will be scary for him.

*PLEASE pray that the master of lies hands are tied. 

*Please pray that the small town's gates are “figuratively” thrown down and God’s love floods the streets.

*Please pray our children at home are safe...physically/emotionally/and spiritually.  Attacks on the kids happened last time we were gone on the trip to bring Jael home.  PLEASE cover them.  Also, please pray for safety specifically for our oldest (Tom) as he will be on a senior trip for a week part of our second trip to Eastern Europe. 

*Please also pray as our children at home try to stay organized in our absence, that things go smoothly for them and time passes quickly.
*Please pray for my husband and I, for our SAFETY and that we remain WELL.  We are going somewhere VERY rural with no one that speaks English most of the time.  

*Please pray for my mom, brother, and friends as they care for our children (safety, smoothness, etc.)

* Please pray that the current trip has a speed that can only be explained as a blessing of God. 
*Please pray that our trip home with Ben is peaceful and uneventful.  Please pray that calm (beyond understanding) reigns for our sweet Benjamin and that we see what we need to do to help him.

*That ALL paperwork needed is sped (by God's Will) in country (with NO hiccups). That the registrar quickly and easily removes Benjamin from the orphan registry, making things easy.

*Please pray that court goes EXTREMELY easy and quick.  It doesn't always.
*Please pray for comfort as we continue to mourn Jonathan.
*Please pray for us to have a connection with the head of the institution. God has given us a love for the head of the institution and the caregivers.  Also, please pray for our connection to those in the village.

*Please pray that the head of this institution shows us where Benjamin has resided these last two years...and around the institution and laying rooms.  This is a wish, but we respect their decision.

 *Please pray the trip  itself is smooth.  There are NO issues.  That every blip, every ironed out before us.

*Please pray that our lines of communication with our children are successful (Skype, Magic Jack, international texting).  We will be in a very rural region.

*Please pray that we remain rested.


"About Benjamin He said:

'Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him,
 for He shields him all day long,
and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.'

Deuteronomy 33:12


  1. Praying right now as I read your prayer requests. So glad Ben will be home with you very soon!

  2. I totally was laughing about the goat but most definitely not laughing AT you. LOL!

  3. You're not going insane. ;) Goats really do climb trees! Do a google search for "goats in tree" and you'll find some humorous photos. :)

    Sweet Benjamin. Praying for your trip and your boy.....and your kids at home!


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