Friday, May 31, 2013

Running the Race (Including Video)

I'm remembering this journey is a marathon today.  I know I'm only in the second leg of the race, but a million emotions come with it.  It's feeling a little like I'm traveling on an incline right now.

Is it because of exhaustion? Distance from our children and family? Foreign land (anywhere not home)? Always thinking, maneuvering, going the distance for a precious blessing...trying to interpret their needs (worth it and awesome, but hard)? The rainy weather? 

Maybe a little of all of the above.  My emotions are a little all over the place this 24 hour period.  That's the thing about an adoptive journey, often it's a battle.  Yes we come out weary and sometimes battle scarred, but we know we will be victorious in the end.

God wins...

This is what I tell myself over and over again.

I'm NOT weary of therapeutic parenting, though maybe constantly trying to think therapeutically and second guessing yourself can be wearying sometimes.  We allow ourselves imperfection (OF COURSE), but in order to stay one step ahead of our precious puzzle...our minds have to be on.

Today started with laughter.  A friend, Sonya, posted this on facebook.  Literally died laughing (only a ghost is typing right now)...

"Haven't seen a post or blog update from Kat all day. Hoping the goats didn't jump out of the trees onto her. Of course, the goats get blamed for everything. Maybe it was the giggling teen girls or others of their followers? Maybe she and Thomas should have bought more of that bbq meat cheese for the neighbor cats and dogs or never started them on the road to addiction?
Seriously, I pray everything is going as planned and that y'all are feeling better. Hugs!"

Then we got to be a part of a wonderful event.  Some missionaries came to our rural institute here in Eastern Europe.  It was such a blessing to the 20-25 boys that got to participate.  It's limited (with maybe 100-120 boys possibly here), but what a blessed break for those boys.  What a joy to see their smiling faces.

After a little time of hanging up laundry, picking up a little more fruit to donate (apparently the market is open on Friday too), and of playing with our son....

Drying Laundry

A Little Donation of Fruit ~ Thank you to all who have donated!


Ben loves banging on the front gate.

I kinda look a little tired (and a little day glow).

...the director actually came and got us and asked us to join in! So thankful for her invite!  Benjamin LOVED IT! I can only share VERY limited pictures, but what I can, I will share.

Yes, I know there are no faces showing.  This is purposeful.  I have pictures of a lot of wonderful smiles and MANY more children/men, but I feel these pictures are not mine to share even if the director did invite us.

Benjamin, Thomas, and his new friend (the driver at the institute), Yuri.

Benjamin is mimicking a game the boys played (a relay race).  Our son REALLY was watching...awesome!

This is dancing, but you have NOT seen dancing until you have seen our son below.

As the party wound down, Thomas helped bring a few things in (with all the other big guys) from the missionaries of fruit and such.  Though I didn't take pictures of it, we were blessed to be able to eat lunch with the missionaries and hear some of their testimonies.  They stun me.  We were so thankful for the time with fellow brothers and sisters from around the world.

After a two hour break...we had a shortened trip to the institute tonight.  The day was a big one for all the boys and we were afraid it'd be a little too much for our Benjamin. 

Yes, he stimmed, but he also asked for food and water repeatedly.  This is such a good thing.

This is the building behind the office where we believe most of the boys live.  They allowed us to take many pictures today...another blessing.

These are the sheds the boys sit in daily.

We're not sure what this building in back is.   Thomas said he was able to go in today and it looks to be some sort of a classroom. We still are not sure where the laying room boys are. Where Jonathan was...

As we play on the drive, this is the area we mostly play in. The door with the curtain is to the medical building.  The nurses have been a blessing to us.

As I try to share the reality of adoption, I'm going to be very honest.  Tonight I'm sad and weary. 
I could care less about missing my bed at home.  I miss my kids.  I want to snuggle up with my children while the rain is pounding outside (like it did here tonight).   The thought of my husband going home Tuesday night (though I LOVE the thought of my brother here) is really rough.  He's my best friend.  I'm physically tired and when normally we recoup on the weekends, we are not recouping here.  This is not a vacation (though a blessed road.... TOTALLY).  I do not know when I will be home.  It's actually not even about going home, but missing my children. If I could bring our children and family here I'd be every bit as happy :). 
Ben is 150% worth it.  I love his country and his culture.  I adore it actually.  I'm just weary tonight.
Have I mentioned I miss my kids (lol)?
I'm being honest (which in this case is hard to do).  I feel this way RARELY EVER, but even after the WONDERFUL day and FABULOUS new friends, the weather...exhaustion...and talking to our kids on Skype...just made me miss them worse and did me in. 
I think it's time to go to bed a little early and pray a LOT (smile). 

Enjoy a Little Bit of Randomness...
The business that gives us you...our internet provider.
This is our sweet BBQ Meat Cheese friend.  Bribery works wonders...
We just might be buying more BBQ Meat Cheese tomorrow...for the animals (sigh).  I'm NOT eating it.

These are EVERYWHERE.  They are inside out tires made into planters.  Yup, I'm contemplating it...
I was making faces at my kids and didn't realize it until I posted...bwahahaha.  Max is reading the clue  to find the prize box for today.

Bekah was showing me where her tooth was loose.

We continue to appreciate all prayers.  We ask that you please continue to pray for Benjamin’s name to be removed easily from the orphan registry.  It can be complicated, time extending, and expensive. 
ALSO, please pray for protection of Ben when we are not with him...not only from others, but also from his fears and anger (anger because we left him and fear of us not returning).
Finally, a new request.  Please start praying for our trips to the place of Benjamin's birth on (possibly) Tuesday and also our trip back to the States.  Being in an enclosed area may cause Ben to stim.  He needs peace and calmness beyond human understanding.  Please also pray that Thomas and I know what we may do to prepare (wisdom and ideas).  Lastly, please pray everything works out in the capital to process things quicker (if it's God's will).  It looks like it may.

An  extra prayer... For a family dear to us that is fighting for the life of a family member against the addiction to drugs.  Please pray he turns to God and seeks help.
ALL Prayer Requests

*Please pray that God continues to prepare Benjamin's heart and calms his spirit.  Giving him restfulness.  Please pray he attaches and learns to love (and learns what family is) quicker than we can fathom.  This will be scary for him.

*PLEASE pray that the master of lies hands are tied. 

*Please pray that the small town's gates are “figuratively” thrown down and God’s love floods the streets.

*Please pray our children at home (and on a senior trip) are safe...physically/emotionally/and spiritually.  Attacks on the kids happened last time we were gone on the trip to bring Jael home.  PLEASE cover them. 
*Please also pray as our children at home try to stay organized in our absence, that things go smoothly for them and time passes quickly.
*Please pray for my husband and I, for our SAFETY and that we remain WELL.  We are going somewhere VERY rural with no one that speaks English most of the time.  
*Please pray for my mom, brother, and friends as they care for our children (safety, smoothness, etc.)

* Please pray that the current trip has a speed that can only be explained as a blessing of God. 
*Please pray that our trip home with Ben is peaceful and uneventful.  Please pray that calm (beyond understanding) reigns for our sweet Benjamin and that we see what we need to do to help him.

*That ALL paperwork needed is sped (by God's Will) in country (with NO hiccups). That the registrar quickly and easily removes Benjamin from the orphan registry, making things easy.
*Please pray for comfort as we continue to mourn Jonathan.
*Please pray for us to have a connection with the head of the institution. God has given us a love for the head of the institution and the caregivers.  Also, please pray for our connection to those in the village.
*Please pray that the head of this institution shows us where Benjamin has resided these last two years...and around the institution and laying rooms.  This is a wish, but we respect their decision.

 *Please pray the trip  itself is smooth.  There are NO issues.  That every blip, every ironed out before us.

*Please pray that our lines of communication with our children are successful (Skype, Magic Jack, international texting).  We will be in a very rural region.

*Please pray that we will feel rested and adjust to the time change while here.

"About Benjamin He said:'Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long,
and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.'
Deuteronomy 33:12

1 comment:

  1. I read your post every day! :) I teach a little boy that's about the same age as your son. He LOVES to dance! We say he has "Get Down" Syndrome! lol:) sending nothing but the most powerful prayers to you and your family! God Bless!


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