Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I Know Who Goes Before Me~Going Back

We prayed and prayed for someone to call Jonathan "my son", until God showed us that he was ours.

"You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light"


It was big. It was hard getting our mind wrapped around.  Yet we fell madly, endlessly in love with our son.  Precious...beloved...

 "Whom shall I fear"

Months we spent with Jonathan.  Maybe not physically with him, but connected in a way we couldn't imagine.

 "You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my sword and shield
Though troubles linger still"


One morning a call came.  My daughter woke me up and told me someone had called from Reece's Rainbow.  I literally ran across the house.  I remember asking them, "Is everything ok?"

I remember her reply.  "No, I'm afraid it's not"

 "Whom shall I fear"

Jonathan was gone.  Jonathan had died.  Our son had died.

"I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side"


Our hearts shattered.

"The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side"


How could we go on?  How could we move forward toward another child.  Our son was with Jesus.  Though we celebrated, the pain seemed unbearable.

"My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory"


We mourned.  Life shifted and would never be the same.  Our son was dead.

"Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear"


We prayed.

 "I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side"


We found out there was another little boy  that was raised at the same orphanage and was transferred to the same mental institution as our Jonathan.

"The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side"


He may have been in the crib next to Jonathan.  He may have only passed him in the hall. 

"And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I'm holding on to Your promises"


He was the closest thing, besides our sons at home, that Jonathan may have had to a brother.

"You are faithful
You are faithful"


"If he was the closest thing Jonathan had to a brother before us, he is our brother too." This was said by our hurting...oldest son.

"And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the hold world in your hands
I'm hold on to your promises"


God whispered the name Benjamin.

"You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful"


We traveled, not knowing if he was still alive.

"I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side."


We met Ben.  A little boy we didn't know.

"The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side"


We fell in love.

"I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side"


When he saw us each day we received the greatest gift...two seconds.

"The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side"


Two seconds of joy...pure unguarded joy whenever he first caught a glimpse of us.

"The God of angel armies
Is always by my side"


We now return.

Please pray for us as today we return to Eastern Europe, to Ben.  Please pray as my brother moves in,  my mom and friends step up, and we are honored to begin this last leg of our journey.



Prayer Requests

*Please pray that God sustains Benjamin.  Please pray that He continues to prepare his heart while we are apart and Ben dreams of us...knowing us...in ways that wouldn't make sense to the world.  Please pray he attaches and learns to love (and learns what family is) quicker than we can fathom.  Please also pray that God calms him.  This will be scary for him and we pray that God calms his spirit.

*PLEASE pray that satan's hands are tied.  He does not want us (or anyone) to enter that village. 

*Please pray that the village gates are “figuratively” thrown down and God’s love floods the streets.


*Please pray our children at home are safe...physically/emotionally/and spiritually.  Attacks on the kids happened last time we were gone on the trip to bring Jael home.  PLEASE cover them.  Also, please pray for safety specifically for our oldest (Tom) as he will be on a senior trip for a week part of our second trip to Eastern Europe. 

*Please also pray as our children at home try to stay organized in our absence, that things go smoothly for them and time passes quickly.
 
*Please pray for my husband and I, for our SAFETY and that we remain WELL.  We are going somewhere VERY rural with no one that speaks English most of the time.  

*Please pray for my mom, brother, and friends as they care for our children (safety, smoothness, etc.)

*NEW~ Please pray that the next trip is as short as possible, while successfully completing Benjamin's adoption.  Please pray that the trips have a speed that can only be explained as a blessing of God. 

*Please pray that our trip home with Ben is peaceful and uneventful.  Please pray that calm (beyond understanding) reigns for our sweet Benjamin and that we see what we need to do to help him.

*That ALL paperwork needed is sped (by God's Will) in country (with NO hiccups).

*Please pray that court goes EXTREMELY easy and quick.  It doesn't always.

*Please pray for comfort as we continue to mourn Jonathan.
 
*Please pray for us to have a connection with the head of the institution. God has given us a love for the head of the institution and the caregivers.  Also, please pray for our connection to those in the village.
*NEW~ Please pray that the head of this institution shows us where Benjamin has resided these last two years...and around the institution and laying rooms.  Our intent IS just to see, and we pray she understands that.

 *Please pray the trip  itself is smooth.  There are NO issues.  That every blip, every hiccup...is ironed out before us.

*Please pray that our lines of communication with our children are successful (Skype, Magic Jack, international texting).  We will be in a very rural region.

*Please pray that we remain rested.

*Please, on a lesser note, pray our luggage makes it :).

*PLEASE PRAY GOD'S WILL IS DONE*
 

"About Benjamin He said:
'Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him,
 for He shields him all day long,
and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.'
Deuteronomy 33:12
 
 
 

 

 

 
 

7 comments:

  1. I woke with y'all on my heart and mind... love you and praying for y'all!!! Benjamin is going to be so excited to see y'all again!!!!

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  2. Praise the Lord for your obedience to Him! We are excited and praying. God bless!

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  3. You KNOW I am in prayer! Perfect song to go with this post. It speaks to me for different circumstances, but wow! what incredible, comforting words from our Loving God.
    God be with you, your kids on both continents, your family and friends who are keeping things rolling here. We are praying for you all!
    Love you!

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  4. That whole CD Burning Lights plays constantly at our house thanks to our Dear Sister Sonya! (((HUGS))) with MOUNTAINS of prayers!!

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  5. Praying for your family. God is great!

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  6. You made me cry.
    Prayers and love for you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. May our Lord bless you with a smooth journey,
    Thank you for sharing your love story,
    You are in our prayers,
    Ines and Willy Wallace

    http://takeourhearts.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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