Thursday, April 11, 2013

We Received a Date, but Postponing is Not as Clear as It Seems

We woke from a restless sleep knowing whatever date we received, we would know how it needed to be handled.

If we received a date around the 15th of April, we would travel.

If we received a date of the 22nd (as anticipated) we would postpone.

You see, this Eastern European Nation has holidays almost solidly from May 1st to May 13th. We needed to have enough time before the holidays to not get held over in country.  Thomas only has so much vacation time and he can't get held over.

We received the date of April 22nd.

Nothing is simple though.

This European Nation is not predictable.  If we request a postponement, they may not give us another date for months.  There is no standard.

We have lost Jonathan.  He died in the same place Benjamin is at.  PERIOD.

We have three options:
Option One: We postpone and pray we will be given a quick date.
Option Two: We make two trips into three.
                Trip One: Accept the referral and visit Ben for a few days and then come home until
                                 court (1 week)
                Trip Two: Visit Ben for a couple of days and have court....then return home (1 week)
                Trip Three: Return to paper chase and take custody of Ben.  My brother and I then
                                   arrive home with Ben. (1-2 1/2 weeks)
Option Three (possibly):  We keep our appointment.  We go to the village and see if we can get a date for the two days the government is working during May 1-13th (two week option).  This would take total prayer cover and would keep our timeline in country the same barring a judge not available.  (We are currently praying and asking if this is an option).

Here's complete honesty. Last night, curled up in our bed with my husband, I broke.  The dam of tears burst open as it hit again that Jonathan is not going to be resting in my arms.  He is with Jesus.  God has given me love for Benjamin and he is in the same institution.  We do not know what condition he is in.  We do not know (taking a deep breath) if he is alive.

Every coin has two sides in this decision?
(Heads) Could three trips (if it ended up happening)...three times saying goodbye... be really hard on my children?  The thought of us going is already hard, though all five of our oldest helped make the initial decision and urged us.
(Tails) The first two trip that mommy and daddy would both be gone would only be around a week with a three week space in between. Would shorter trips be easier, knowing we came back obviously each time?

Yet, our kids would make it through the trip should we decide to go.  Ben...we don't know what shape he is in.  No one has heard about him in years. Would he make it through a delay?

(Heads) God has provided every dime.  He had provided $1400 over our need.  This should take care of a good chunk of the increase cost should it rise due to a trip increase.  We MAY need a little more, but we would have to play that by ear.
(Tails) All the money we didn't need could be used for the Lost Boys.  That's where we designated excess funds (tears).

(Heads) Our kids say "go"...God can provide a way.
(Tails) Our younger kids don't have a choice and won't completely understand no matter what we decide.

(Heads) Expenses of a courier service and mailing a "postponement document" to Eastern Europe will increase our need by a couple of hundred.
(Tails) Not postponing could cost MUCH more (not definitely, but could).

A sweet friend shared with me that they went through a similar situation just one year ago (same time of year and everything) and the holidays did not slow things down.  It's all God's timing...not ours.

So friend, could you pray?  We need to make a decision quickly.  Any postponement document will take a few days to prepare and then time to be shipped to Eastern Europe before our appointment.  We need your prayers and any wisdom God gives you.  I am weary, I broke at the thought of making another decision.  We are still mourning, but don't want to mourn another son...our sweet Ben. 

Please pray....


  1. Our Hearts are Full to bursting with Compassion:'/ Praying for each and all of you!! May God reach through the fog & bring you word of your Son. Love!!!

  2. I know this is a difficult decision, but God will lead you in making it. I am praying for you!

  3. Praying God gives you great wisdom and peace as you make this tough decision.

  4. you know we are praying! we have never adopted thru your country, but we have adopted thru a country that transitioned with new elected officials who changed everything as we were adopting- and we just went for it. Don't think what if, just do it! ;o)Just go!

  5. I know you don't know me, but I think you should go as soon as possible. If it requires 3 trips and costs more, let me know. There are many, many of us out here praying that Ben makes it safely home.


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