Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Alternative?

Several posts have brought me to this point.  Both "Flames..." and "Obeying God's Call" have increased a desire on my heart to say something.  I've been pondering this for awhile, but am not sure how to say it. I've been praying as I start to type, wanting to speak from a heart that desires God's will first.

If you throw in my passion, I am rightly concerned about messing this one up (smile).

It's not just about discernment or not understanding someone else's calling.

It's about convincing people to NOT follow God.  It's about children, not statistics.

I have for years shared tears and many emails from those struggling.  Friends hurting because a family member (or friend) tried to convince them not to move forward toward a new child, when they finally shared their excitement (and often God's leading).

Is it common?  Can it be understandable at times? Yes.

But in my heart, I can't say it's okay.  It's often done with flippancy and the consequences can be crushing.

I'm having such a hard time writing this, bear with me.  I just don't want to get this one wrong.

Often, in our journey here on earth, we place ahead of any "HEAVENLY FATHER" view...our own view.  We place our loves, our desires on others shoulders...expecting them to have the same. 

Yet we are each individuals, directed by God distinctly in a tune only our own souls can distinguish.  We hear God's Word beating in our hearts, His Holy Spirit whispering.  It is not us, but our God.

When a family steps out, in ANY way, to follow does not need to make sense.  In our limited human scope, we can't create an image of our Heavenly Father so small that everything falls into a perfect little human recipe for "sense".  We cannot expect to add a little of this and a soupcon of that and each life falls into an exactly explainable pattern.

Somehow, we fall into a trap where we feel that God should be explainable, that His will should fit in our little box of comfort.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

When a loved one, a Christian brother or sister, comes to us with a direction from God...and we (at times) shoot it down without thought, concern, or discernment...we are on dangerous ground.

We may be in danger of encouraging someone NOT to follow God.

Discernment doesn't speak flippantly.  Discernment comes with a lot of in depth searching for the heart of God.  It comes with prayer and digging into HIS Word.  It comes with the realization that God does not call us to a life of ease (see "Obeying God's Call") It comes with questioning our own motives and what they're based on.

We can ask ourselves...
*Is their direction Biblical?  How does our Father in Heaven speak about it?
* Are we looking at just part of the Bible, instead of the whole of God's Word?
*Are we placing our cultural values, instead of Biblical ones, on the situation?
*Have they shown themselves discerning previously?
*Is the doubt we have based on faulty logic.... that God could NOT create in them something that MAY not have been present before?    
*Are we placing our loves and desires for them ahead of God's desires for them?
*Are we placing our fear on them?

Yet, it seems as if in one swift torrent, we can brush aside God's calling in others lives...because we don't understand it...

...and then there's the child. 

We are brushing aside a child, not a statistic.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

If the goal is really to convince someone NOT to adopt, we need to ask ourselves what will happen to the child? What is the alternative for this precious one of God that has been relegated to a nonentity by many?

A child may remain without a family, forgotten, even unto death. Not only one child forgotten, but millions, because many have been convinced by others that they are not hearing God.

Is that what's being chosen?  Because, friends, if we succeed in convincing someone NOT to adopt ...that may be a very real consequence that we need to face.  That may be a very real consequence that we need to help answer for.

"For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,  I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ Matthew 25:42-45

There are those that will always be there to jeer, laugh at, and (not in a good way) say you are crazy.  THAT is nothing new.

That does not mean it is right.  That does not mean that the most innocent will not suffer if we succeed.

Jesus talks about children as a blessing, shouldn't we?

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

What is OUR alternative?

There is only one alternative we need to surrender to...God and HIS will. 

So friends, we need to discern before we speak.  The last thing I believe we want to do is to keep those we love from the blessed path of God.

God has adopted us after all.  I for one KNOW I'm a lot of work.

"Wait on the Lord, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherit the land;" Psalm 37:34

"You meet him who joyfully works righteousness,
those who remember You in Your ways" Isaiah 64:5

"Blessed are all who fear the Lord,
who walk in his ways." Psalm 128:1


To adoptive and future adoptive parents:

Though this post is very much on my heart, I want to stress mercy when someone is less than supportive.  There are times I have reacted wrong or thoughtless in an instant and then regretted my first reaction.   I must admit, there are times where my reaction is NOT based on what God wants from me or God's heart. 

I know how painful it can be when family or friends are less than supportive, but please consider mercy your first response. 


  1. Great post, Kat. Your mercy and grace shine through the truth of your words....Thank you for directing it all back to Scripture. To Christ be the glory!

  2. I just keep coming back and reading this post. I feel like I should comment, but don't know what to say.


In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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