Thursday, June 14, 2012

A New Holocaust~Why Aren't You Adopting Again if the Need is so Dire?


Some might say, "I would never ask that."

But in the recesses of my mind...I would.

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Thomas and I have been VERY clear that we LOVE having a big family.

Our children have a heart for these little ones around the world.

We don't think regulations man puts in place trumps God's leading.

We know God provides financially.

All these things, if I knew them about another family, would (somewhere in the recesses of my mind) have me wondering. I wouldn't wonder in judgement, but because of what I knew about the family.

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Then there would be a few that never would ask, because they think our family is big enough as it is.

They may feel that ANY issue/struggle a child in our family has is because of the size of our family.

They may feel secretly judgemental at the thought of us adopting again.

Wasn't transition hard? There is no way you could home school more (including special needs) successfully. It would just be wrong.

Not to be judgemental myself, but they are not seeing these little ones in need for what they are...children that may die if someone does not answer God's call.

They may say, "Don't they have to stop sometime?"

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I would be remiss if I didn't mention a third wonderful group. Those that may not understand and may think us a little nuts.

They also trust our walk with God, discernment, and the beauty of the family God creates. 

They may worry, but they are 100% supportive, even if they don't get it. They understand that each is called and every calling is different. They understand that God's vision is bigger than theirs and that they don't have to understand.

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Why aren't we adopting again...right now, if the need is so immanent.

I'm going to get really truthful. There are several reasons that God could COMPLETELY blow out of the water. (You want to know a secret? I hope HE does...because some of them are remarkably human....too human.).

*Jael just came home 5 months ago (almost 6 months). She has a huge surgery in the next couple months. After that (very exciting) she gets to learn to walk.

A large part of me knows that once you start an adoption, MANY months usually follow and she would be home over a year at home by the time a new sibling came home. She would be considered physically healed and most likely be walking by then.

* Part of me is weary thinking about the journey again (complete honesty) and the thought of the million pieces of paper needed, is exhausting.

The worry if you'll be approved, the stalking the mailman (he probably was contemplating a restraining order last time), and the overwhelming ache in your arms for your child/children is rough.
It's hard....really hard.

I would do it all over again, but did I mention it's hard?

* Finances...yup, I said it. I believe...I really, really, really do that God provides. He provided 100% for FIVE of our blessings to come home! I believe HE would provide again. Am I willing to do the work? Yes, of course.

* We needed to jump through many hoops to bring Jael home. The twins had only been home six months when we started her journey. They had been home only a year and a half when she arrived home. I have fear...stupid fear...that we would not be approved home study wise...not because of us, but because of timing.

We have a amazing agency, but know this is very outside the box. It is not "traditional" or what is viewed by society as acceptable. 

*This is the biggest one. God has not shown us our child. Maybe I should say that we don't know if God has shown us our child...yet. It is no flippant phrase when I say, "God shows us our children and we just bring them home." God is the Creator of our family...not us.

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You see, when I post (with my heart breaking) about these little ones around the world, I am not judging you. I know God's mission for each of us is different. I'm praying God uses these posts to plant seeds...to create an openness to ask God if there is a child out there for you. 

Yet, I think I am judging myself a little bit. I judge myself for my honest fear, not of extreme special needs, but of all the things I've faced before.

I KNOW God overcomes these things and I still struggle and fight within myself. I KNOW each and every one of these children IS a blessing which we are PRIVILEGED to accept. And I still struggle...

I hope/pray God blows all my excuses right out of the water. I hope/pray that God straightens out my husband and I's thoughts/doubts/fears.

In the meantime I will pray for God's atomic explosion in my heart...and yours...blowing everything stopping us from receiving HIS blessings...these children...right out of the water.

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I will leave you with a letter to little Katie (the nine year old from Bulgaria) from her mommy.

God blew her fear right out of the water and the geyser of blessing flowed over them.

"The Blessing of Verity~Letter to My Newest Daughter

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Please remember Nicky (picture at the side of this blog) who faces an institution next year. This 3 1/2 year old needs a family NOW!!! You can also find other children in desperate need of homes on http://reecesrainbow.org/new-family/thechildren and click on "Waiting Children".

If you wish to read the rest of this series, go to "Kat"agories  in the far right column and click on "A New Holocaust~The World's Orphans" to view all posts of this series.

1 comment:

  1. So often I read your posts and just have no words. I'm there again! Wrestling in prayer with you!!

    ReplyDelete

In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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