Monday, April 30, 2012

"Little Woman Sydrome"~Diagnoses, Symptoms, and the Cure

Little Woman Syndrome: noun: (Lit-el Woe-man Sin-drOm) When a member of the masculine gender sees a woman as inherently inadequate or unintelligent due to her gender.  Not to be confused with "If a Man Has An Opinion in a Forest With No One Around, Is He Still Wrong Syndrome"

Is it real? Some may ask with disbelief.

It is my friends, it is (shaking head sadly).


Symptoms:
*Notice the eyes, a blank stare when a female speaks.  For some the eyes may be focused lower than socially acceptable.

*Ears have closed.  This has yet to be successfully medically explained.  It has been said that the sound those with the syndrome hear is reminiscent of the teacher in Charlie Brown.

* A change in speech pattern occurs immediately, small words are used.  There may be a tone that can be considered by some as patronizing.

*Eye rolls or inappropriate nudges (sometimes called tics) can be present and are of a unyet determined nature.

Second Hand Symptoms:
Unfortunately the effect of this syndrome can course over even to women.  They bring an unusual feeling of irritation and intermittent anger even in the calmest individuals.

Treatment:
*Thankfully a father, mother, girlfriend, or wife can aid a high cure rate (though it is not guaranteed).  "Notputtingupwithanothercondescendingremark" is often the first prescription issued.  Since there is no guarantee that the affected male will take prescription, it is recommended that the above listed individuals dole out the medicine. 

*Another, more serious action that will often be required is called "Husband/Fatherofsubjectedpersonlets'emhaveit".  This is a cure to be avoided as it can cause harm if not handled carefully.  It tends to have a higher success rate, but can have more side effects.

*There is only one 100% successful cure though.  It is not widely accepted, often labeled the "narrow road".  The required treatment is usually known as "SeewomenasGodseesthem".  When this cure is successfully ingested the cure rate is 100%.  The cure can (at times) take years, but it well worth it.

If you suspect your loved one is affected with this syndrome, seek help immediately.  It is curable and the success rate is higher the younger the age of the individual affected.  Parents are strategically placed to combat this syndrome and are the most likely to see success.

Please help stop the spread of this insidious syndrome before it spreads next door to you!



1 comment:

  1. i got this all the time when we were trying to hire contractors to fix our house before we moved in. since my husband works 7-6 most days (with travel time) i was the one having to deal with them. sadely his is how i had to deterime who got the job as if the couldnt speak to me with respect how was i to know they were going to get the job done. i know the frustration.

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