Testing and Walking…and A Map of China on My Rear 12~31~2011

Happy New Year…wait, it’s not New Year there yet (at least while I’m writing this). I feel so special living in the future…wink. Oh come on! You knew that joke was coming!

It’s again five am. I didn’t get to sleep until late and little miss was restless, so this is TOTALLY insane.

Jael was mad at me again last night. She really believes that if she’s awake bored, the bathroom is the place to be. I took her three times in a 30 minute period and then said no…go to sleep. This sort of control is so new to her. I’m ok with mad though. Kids are not truly initiated into a family until they are mad at their parents for something…lol. During the day the potty fun is fine…but at night… mommy needs about 10 years of beauty rest.

I found a comment I had interesting… and a little sad. I was told that I must be a very young mom. Of course I said, “I am!” (NOT!). When I told her I was forty, she stated that she needed to show me 40 year olds in China. She said they looked very old. Made me feel good, but made me a touch sad at the same time. Is life so hard or the pollution so bad that it ages people prematurely? Apparently my age guessing is way off here.

Are you wondering about the map of China on my rear? Did you read the last post? Apparently hitting marble floor at alarming speeds with your posterior creates a colorful effect. No, I didn’t look…can’t believe you’d ask (ROTFL….going to look).

We are going to do our medical and TB test today for Jael AoJing. We were told this is a good place to get laundry done. I may check the prices at the hotel and just get it done here. That way I don’t have to carry it on our walk…hmmmm. Definitely needs to be done though. Dreading the washing out of technicolor yawns I need to do this morning. I wouldn’t pass that job to my worst enemy. Maybe my closest friends…Michelle…Amber? Where are you guys when I need you?!

Well, it’s time to stir myself to action, wash out yuck, get dressed, and head to breakfast…sigh…do I really have to?

PM
Today was a completely new day in China. Everything felt familiar and we had the added benefit of having some new friends here who are adopting with the same agency. China is in trouble though. They have as crazy sense of humors as we do.

We walked to Jael’s medical exam….down roads that were closed in like alleys with wares strung along both sides and the middle. First were the animals. Live animals, cute animals, surrounded us. No joke, but I’m glad we can’t bring anything home. Fish, puppies, turtles, guinea pigs, squirrels, mice, kittens, cats, bunnies, hamsters…left Anna in la la land. I touched nothing. I touch, they end up in our house somehow.





Then came the food alley. Barrels of dried goods stood in front and filled stores. The most interesting were dried sea horses, skinned mice, dried jelly fish, hanging squirrels….a whole new world for us. We had a hilarious food experience, but I’ll talk about that later.

The walk to Shamian island was short and comfortable with cool air and the sun shining. Jael got a little heavy after a while and as soon as we got there our guide Helen took me to a shop. It was a shop that loaned us a stroller FOR OUR ENTIRE TRIP!!! No joke…it was a loan. How kind is that?

The medical appointment was uneventful. Weight and height were taken, a regular MD gave Jael a cursory look and asked about fever and such, next was an ENT, and finally she had a TB test that will be read Monday. Though I’m sure it’s fine, a prayer for a clean TB test would be good as well.



When walking with our guide a little, we noticed parks lined with trees, littered with statues, and interspersed with exercise equipment. Yes, you read right. Yellow jungle gym type exercise equipment was throughout the city. Exercise made a TON easier. I know I mention this somewhere else in these posts, but it is just so cool.







We ate lunch and shopped a little with the Haynies (a fellow agency family). They’ve adopted a BEAUTIFUL little 10 year old girl that we fell in love with (Jia). She cracks me up. We about died laughing when she was eating out of a regular zipper bag (like you see beef jerky in ) and was spitting little bits into her mom’s hand. We could see by the tough “I’m not going to think about what’s being spit into my hand” look her mommy was giving, that it had to be interesting.

It was chicken feet and the claws/nails were being spit into her mommy’s hand. Can I say her mom ROCKS??!! Now THAT is super mom! Dad was in on it too…so he definitely gets the brownie points as well (not redeemable in and state that has a vowel in it).





As we walked we passed by brides and grooms in beautiful scenery getting their pictures taken. Models in photo shoots were everywhere.

We actually ate in an Americanized restaurant (cheating) and enjoyed time just strolling and doing a little shopping. Sarah would have liked the restaurant more if her little pizza didn’t have ketchup for pizza sauce…lol…mustard anyone?

I needed today. It was relaxing.

AoJing is still not back to herself…at least the previous self we know. I think she is just a little overwhelmed at the activity. This won’t let up much before we leave Wednesday night either. She’s still not sleeping great and we could REALLY use prayers for some good night sleeps. We need it.

Her sensitive tummy kept everything down today (so far), though her poor little body seems to flush after she eats …sigh. I can’t wait until her body stabilizes. She ate tonight, pigged out in front of daddy on Skype. She screamed “Baba” as soon as she saw him.

I’ve noticed something. She is so much more content if we give her food to just hold. It can be wrapped or in a peel and she won’t even ask to open it…just hold it. Though she is filled out and stunning, to us this is a good indicator that she was normally hungry and maybe insecure about food.

Right now she is using food to control where she feels out of control. I’m not sure how much of this health stuff is now emotional. Sigh…I want to help her little heart heal, but know it just may take hibernating back in the U.S.

Boy is she mad at me though. She will occasionally forget and laugh at my silliness before she catches herself. She was laughing tonight…finally ….and interacting with her sisters. She did with me just a tad. I believe she accepts me as her mommy, but two things…I am the one who usually says “No” and I’m the one who has carried her around and taken her away from everything familiar. Her sisters are playmates. She asks for the girls more and more now, but still seems to be in my arms the most. She goes to her “safe place” zoning quite a bit. Placing her arm over her eyes.

It’s not fun “feeling” her dislike at times, but…though I wish it to pass…it’s all a stage in healing. I want her to feel what is necessary to get through this and anger is often one of those things.

We’ve seen the night terrors and the mourning in our previous adoptive journeys, but every time my mommy heart breaks.

She is now asleep in our bed. She pulls the neck of her pajamas over her mouth. She’s done this since day one. Her sleep is now her “safe place”. We have to work to draw her out. Often we walk in the room and she immediately wants to crawl into bed and sleep….not unusual.

My family at home is sick now. Max is finally over the virus he had when we left, now the twins have it. It’s hard being away knowing they don’t understand. Gabe especially cries often when we get off of Skype. Max is my tough little man and, though I worry, I know he does understand.

Thomas is my super hero right now….working from home AND taking care of five kids, no matter how awesome they are!

Wednesday needs to come soon.

Prayers:
*That Jael’s physical body adjusts and she is eating and drinking willingly and has no negative result of taking in food. Also, that her sleep becomes sound during the night.
*The our sweet Jael AoJing attaches quickly and gets past her anger…trusting us and finding peace as part of our family.
*For all of our health, for it to continue to improve (we are all having some asthma problems and since we only have mild seasonal asthma, this is unusual).
*For our family at home and our safety as well.
*For her TB test to be clear.
*For God to be brought glory though our speech and actions.

*Lastly, our friends ( the Kendall family) are starting their adoptive traveling to China TODAY. She will be gone for just over THREE weeks. Her boys are in two different regions which makes this necessary. Can you pray not only for her safe travels, and the boys attachment, but for her two princesses at home who are really struggling. Thank you friends!

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4

The Second Leg of Our Journey~Friday 12/30/2011

Finally today we begin the second leg of our journey, culminating on leaving Guangzhou on Wednesday to head back home to my family.

Last night was interesting. I think Jael woke a little mad at me. She wanted to play in the bathroom in the middle of the night and mommy was mean…no playing. I should say TIRED mommy was mean. She’s fairly restless at at night as I think I might have mentioned (smile).

She was very, unusually, serious this morning and we felt that maybe the mourning had started. She ate well at breakfast, though we limited her intake after nothing staying down the day before.

She was sad though. She kept on going to what we refer her “safe place”. She basically shuts down, often putting her arm in front of her eyes. This is a first since that very first hour we had her. She hadn’t done that since. We knew, when she requested to lay down in our bed right after breakfast, that she was shutting down. She immediately closed her eyes and slept for three hours straight. She didn’t want to feel.

She saw the packing and understood something was going on. Though we use a translation app to tell her she will stay with us forever, I’m afraid that she really had a core fear that we are passing her off to someone else. You could feel it. Once in a while while we were packing, you could see tears start to well in her eyes.

After nap she woke crying and holding her stomach. We rushed her to the bathroom since it was obviously cramping. Everything flushed through her little body as she sobbed.

She didn’t want to crack any smile. The only times she did related to a couple others familiar to her, though not to us. Her orphanage director called our guide to say goodbye to AoJing. There was a big smile. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Then, when we were leaving, I took a picture of all the girls with our guide. She smiled for her then too. Then I got it. We believe that she thought if she couldn’t have us, maybe they would take her. My heart is breaking realizing that.

She went from scared to angry in two seconds flat. She was angry at me. That’s ok…I think we’re seeing a little bit of that fighting spirit. As we waited at our gate at the airport, she would barely acknowledge me and asked to go to Sarah. If Sarah handed her something, she’d take it. If I did…not so much. Yes, in a normal situation with a child transitioning, you don’t let them get away with that. With AoJing, she’s never been allowed to have an opinion and to just feel what she wants. I view this as good. It didn’t last long.

Anna and Sarah were great as usual. Anna entertained herself...very artistically.



We finally said goodbye to our guide Cici and boarded the small China Southern plane to Guangzhou. Though Jael had her own seat,, that would mean one of us would sit across the aisle from the other three. I wasn’t about to let my young ladies sit by a strange man. He may have been awesome, but sidetracking and escaping those that want to hit on my 15 year old is not always fun and I have no urge to end up in a Chinese Jail (wink). It’s not always the nice sweet stuff either…but some rowdy young men that are really not acting respectful. Aw well….





Jael sat on my lap so we could sit together. She immediately went to her “safe place”. She closes her eyes and pretends she’s asleep. Soon they delivered some nice little cookie baskets. Jael would have none of it. Anna’s ear was bothering her as she has been fighting congestion (we are currently praying that nothing comes of it).

What I had forgotten is that she had been playing with the stuff in the pocket in front of us. Including a very important little bag.



Warning: If you get easily queasy, read no farther. I may not read any farther…lol. I try to be honest in the reality of transitioning. This was a very messy reality.

All of a sudden, twenty minutes before landing, Jael gagged. That is not a good sign for her. I guess it’s not a good sign for anyone. Of course I start searching for the bag and frantically and asking the girls (maybe not as nicely as I’d hoped) to find their bags. Too late…WAY TOO LATE. As I caught her vomit in her shirt, my shirt, and her hair…I remember Donna’s wise advice to always bring a spare set of clothes for yourself as well…shoot!

We threw her clothes in a vomit bag (to wash out in the morning…I’m not touching it tonight. I just got the smell of vomit out of my hair).

We finally got as cleaned up as we could and were in the process of landing. Once hitting the runway, Jael decided her hoodie (which I had just put on, needed to come off. It was already getting colder and I said no (in Mandarin it sounds similar…po). She started to sob…as everyone was crowding down the isle trying to get off the plane. You could see the serious, “What are you doing to that poor child?” looks. Didn’t even phase me…the mourning had started. This was not about the jacket.

We easily met our new guide Helen who seems very sweet. We drove the 45 minutes from the airport to the most beautiful room I have ever seen. Marble bathroom floors, two huge queen size snuggly beds, office center, couches…you name it. We have a ROCKIN’ hotel room.

This was just PART of the lobby.






Need one of these rooms at home...



I especially loved the marble floor that I hit flat on my side as I slid across some spilled water. Ouch…seriously OUCH! Yup, I’m a big baby (smile).

Anyway, Jael and Sarah are asleep now (Anna is snacking…lol…that girl and her stomach…smile). I’m heading the way of the bed myself. Tomorrow we walk to Shamian Island for Jael’s health screening. I’m pretty sore and thinking maybe I can find a way to pick up a cheap stroller before then.

Anyway…appreciating your prayers my friends!!!

*Please pray for Jael AoJing’s little heart. It’s hurting. Please pray for her continued quick and thorough attachment to us.

*Please pray for Jael’s tummy which is now struggling quite a bit with new foods since we don’t know what she was used to.

*Please pray for Anna’s ear, though it doesn’t hurt, she can’t hear out of it yet.

*Please pray for my knee and back. The fall really strained and already stressed back.

*Please pray for no glitches, peace, health, and that we can actually enjoy and see everything around here.

*Please pray for our safety and that of our kids back home. My oldest is going to an amusement park tomorrow for New Years Eve and that makes my mom heart nervous with all the drinking and driving that goes on that night (not my son, but others).

*Please pray most importantly that we glorify God and share His word.

Thank you for joining us in praying through these joys, pains, hardships, and triumphs with us.

I am BEAT…time to crash my friends.
Hugs and love…

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for Him.” Lamentations 3:22-24

An ENTIRELY Too Colorful Day (Thursday 12/29/2011)

For some reason 5am seems to be about as late as we can all sleep. Jael AoJing sleeps until about 7:00 most mornings.

She’s my restless sleeper. I think she’s not used to mommy sleeping next to her or ANY light. We keep the bathroom light on so we don’t fall on our faces…much needed (smile). I find her, any given night, down at my feet as I doze. The beds are very hard and when I finally have to turn over, I feel a little arm or leg occasionally. For some reason this is less intimidating. I stroke her hair or belly as she falls asleep and that does seem to help, but sticking around…it’s too different to her.

She sleeps soundly when I get up to type my blog in the morning. I know some may say, “Her sleep is important. Why don’t you let her sleep in a crib?” They would be right, her sleep is important…but she has had 3 ½ years of no touch at night. It is now about giving her what she needs verses what she wants at this point.

We are still searching for the “real” AoJing and see a little more of her each day. Still we have no tears and almost no anger at all…just complacency. So many of these little blessings have lost their “voice”. They don’t have choices. Even their potty breaks are scheduled.

Speaking of potty breaks…this is something she enjoys. Often, a institutionalized little one, will have scheduled potty breaks (example: 9am, noon, 3pm, before bed) and there are no exceptions. AoJing has figured out mommy will take her ANY time we can (she doesn’t do this while we are out as of yet). For about three hours today she would say “Uh Oh!” about every 20 minutes. Off to the bathroom we went…potty…wipe…flush…turn on water herself…soap…and lotion. I’ve kicked the routine a little bit in the middle of the night. Mommy makes it not NEAR as fun. I do everything to keep her from thoroughly waking up and therefore requests are few.

Sarah and Anna are such a big help, but (which is very good) she often want mommy to take her. We haven’t had Anna even try yet.

We were all going a little stir crazy this morning. AoJing has a 103 fever right BEFORE bed, but it broke quickly and hasn’t ever since (woo hoo!). We had been praying that either Jael got well quickly or God sustained the Ibuprofen. Whichever brought God the most glory…though we longed for Jael to be well.

We decided to brave breakfast this morning. Though room service is fairly inexpensive, we still can’t sustain that for too long. We sat in a far corner with a VERY hungry little girl. She wanted everything in sight and we really had to reign her in.

It wasn’t quite enough though. We spent a day cleaning up vomit…starting with her room service plate right after it arrived for lunch…yum (smile).



This is a fairly normal occurrence for a child whose diet is changing because you don’t have a clue what was eaten before. I feel a little sorry for the laundry service. Though we rinsed out the towels…yuck.

As I sat on the floor, after a bout of vomiting, stroking Jael AoJing’s hair, I realized there were no tears and she wasn’t even slightly upset. Sadly, she’s most likely used to going this alone.

It occurred to me how our parents love often teaches us about God (at the earliest stages). I read an author recently whose father was stern and demanding. This author’s initial idea of God was the same.

We have a road ahead to show reliance and love to our daughter so she can learn a greater love and reliance on God.

Something else occurred to me as I stoked her silky hair. I realized just how many of these precious children are still there…still in an institution…feverish and vomiting. In one country special needs children are often transferred to an institution between 5-6 years old (I believe). If they have Downs Syndrome, their chances of dying within the first year of transfer jump up to 90 percent. Yes, you read that right.

I can’t help but think how many, even non special needs children, will die from a simple virus that isn’t cared for. Did you know a child over the age of three, even if healthy, is often considered special needs just because of their age?

I can hear Jael AoJing (Ow-Jing) from here. I add her Chinese name as it is the only one she currently knows. We will call her both for a while before we drop it and leave it as her middle name.

She loves her big sisters. Anna gets such belly laughs from her. She also got her first “mad” with Anna. Jael was playing with Anna and the brush. I’ve explained to the girls that, since we don’t share a common language, they must tell her “no” and hold her hand for a second saying “no hit”. If I come over there, she won’t have a clue why. It worked with Bekah, we’ll see….

Anyway, Jael thought it would be funny to hit Anna with a brush and giggle. Anna had to tell her “no” and hold her brush hand for a minute. Ohhhhh…she did NOT like that.

It’s a good thing though. She’s showing us how she really feels. She’s been so complacent. If you take something she wants, she’s ok with that. She still is with me, but with Sarah and Anna….she’s starting to view them as other kids. That’s good…she’s seeing me as the caretaker and them more in the sister range.

She actually seemed a little sad early today. We wonder what her little heart is feeling. The first hour is the only mourning we’ve really seen. She, most likely, doesn’t trust us with that “big feeling” yet.

We’ve been keeping an eye out for issues here. She is amazing us. She doesn’t shy away from most touch, she likes us holding her. She doesn’t want others. We can throw and spin her. I stroke her hair or rub her tummy until she sleeps. We are working on greater eye contact. She gives some, but not a ton yet. As of yet, sensory issues are at a minimum. We know she may be running on adrenaline now and we may see more later, but so far so good.

Sarah and Anna have been wonderful. They are such helpful big sisters.

Sarah just does what needs to be done and makes calls or answers the door for room service…with little fear of not being understood. She is already getting to have the world traveler attitude. We figured out something the other day. She is always the first to get sick. We know she has ALWAYS wanted to be a missionary. I’m thinking this is a way the father of lies is trying to influence her. She sees it though. Illness is nothing compared to the word of God.

Anna is little laughing Mommy. She too has had a mild virus, but is the one that can always get Jael to laugh. She tosses her around and gets her giggling. She is a big help too, yet I still see my little girl in Anna. With big eyes she takes in these new experiences. It’s wonderful to see.

They both got smiles out of our sick little one today. She was introduced to bubbles. We've brought bubbles on every trip and they've never failed.










Both Sarah and Anna have mild asthma with the pollution. Thankfully the doctor gave us meds to help. The girls were celebrating seeing the clouds for the first time through the smog today.

We’ve been Skyping daily with my husband and children. Jael got to meet her grandma (met her Uncle earlier ) yesterday. I think her grandma could just hold her and never let go.

The children in the States are doing good. Tom woke not feeling great the other morning and I’m praying it passed. The twins periodically cry when I get off Skype. They don’t understand this. My mommy arms long to hug all our kids.

Soon…a week from today for us.

We actually leave Nanning tomorrow. Then we are on to the last stage. This stage was the Chinese side of things. The next stage is the American side. We also get to meet some new friends in Guangzhou (Gwan-Jo). Prayerfully Jael will feel better…all the way…by tomorrow.

I’m trying to think about what I’m forgetting to mention….not much I think.

Have a blessed day my friends! Hugs!!!

“’Am I only a God nearby,” declares the Lord, “and not a God far away? Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?’ declares the Lord. ‘Do I not fill Heaven and Earth?’ declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 23:23-24

12/28/11

Today we were recluses.

If you know me, that is really unusual while traveling. I really like to know where our children are from. The rural areas I enjoy more than the “tourist destinations”. I like to know the reality. The hardest was cancelling our orphanage tour. We wanted to go so badly, but our little ones health has to be first and foremost.

We needed to though. Jael AoJing’s fever broke around 9am. We were fine until 3pm and then it then spiked at right about 103. It’s a degree lower than last night, so we’re looking at that as a good thing. The doctors always told us if it’s consecutively lower each day….

We had a new surprise though. After her fever broke tonight, she got a nose bleed. You would think little would be “new” to me, but none of our kids struggled with that much. Thankfully I’ve friends that experienced that a lot (not that I’m thankful they did, but that I knew it can be normal) and am not very worried. I must say, it’s still nerve racking to look at your child and see blood dripping down her face.

Right now it’s about 9:24 at night and Jael is sleeping soundly. I will be shortly too. She is fever free right now. She responds well to Ibuprofen, but that is the one we are close to running out of. We have about one dose left. If the fever kicks up again, I might have to call our guide and see what she can find.

Since today was a slow and cuddly day, I thought I’d share some things that I may not have previously.

We have seen many good signs in our little girl. Yet something else is sticking in my mind tonight.

“I couldn’t do that.”

Before we left, I heard this multiple times, sometimes daily.

I heard, “My two give me a run for the money. You must really have a gift.”

No I don’t, this is not a joke. We have learned to accept the blessings God wants to give. That’s it.

I struggle, because that phrase (to me) means something else and I realize that many don’t view it that way. This is NOT judgment, but the phrase makes me so sad. This phrase to me says that there is a choice not to listen to God, but make the decision on our own. I know God leads. I know God may share a plan elsewhere. Yet our strength to do something is not our strength or ability, its Gods.

Children that keep you going, a little crazy, head spinning on your shoulders, and prayerful constantly…. are normal. The ability to parent more is God’s gift to you. It is not man made or a “character trait”. It is often like filling a balloon. You fill it half way with water and think it’s going to burst. Yet, when you double it…it still holds firm. God gives you what you need.

How many times have you thought you couldn’t take anymore, but did when you were faced with it. Are you ever able to look back and see the blessing?

There is a little girl sound asleep on my bed right now. Some may view her as “less”, but we all know…all those reading this…that she is “more” and has a great purpose for God.

She is not “I can’t do this.”

She is not “I have my hands full.” Friends, if you don’t think I have my hands full…ummm…(laughing)…

We DO NOT do this on our own. We just listen and trust that God will give us what we need.

Please friends, do not say you can’t (about anything of God) unless God has led you to that specifically. Listen and realize that in all actuality you may be saying you WON’T.

These children are not statistics. They are children that will lie in orphanages dying. They may be YOUR child lying in an orphanage dying if God said you can….yet you say you can’t…you won’t.

This is on my heart today. I’m not throwing this out in judgment. I’m really not. I’m not thinking of anyone specifically. I know God will press on whom He presses.

I just worry about limiting what we do by saying it is WE that do it.

“’Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.’ When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, ‘The Lord’s will be done.’” Acts 21:13b-14

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tomorrow I hope to share so much more of the good things we are seeing around here…attachment…sensory…sisters….what this week holds.

Until then, thank you for holding us up to our Heavenly Father in prayer.

*Please pray that God heals Jael AoJing. Please pray her fever is gone and stays gone and that she remains healthy. Please pray God allows the medication to not run out. Please pray we all get well.

*Please pray that everything goes without a hiccup, that there are no barriers.

*Please pray for Jael to continue to attach and for her little heart to be filled with God’s peace. Please pray she sees us as her forever family in a way that goes beyond what she understands to what God has done.

*Please pray for us to reflect Christ and glorify Him here and in her life.

*Please pray for peace and safety of our family at home and for all of us here.

*Lastly, a friend of ours is traveling VERY shortly (the last day of the year) to bring her two sons home from China. Please keep the Kendall family in your prayers.

Thank you friends.

Side Note: I want you to know that, though I am not able to access Blogger or Facebook, all your notes and comments are coming to my email (which I am now able to access). Thank you…the encouragement is beyond what words can say.
To my family, I miss and love each and every one of you. Michelle, Amber, Bryan, and Donna you have been such an encouragement. Even if I don’t always text back (except to make fun of you)…I appreciate you all so much. WE appreciate you all so much.

Please pray….and Our Time Here 12/27/11

Though this day is tinted with worry of AoJing, it was also a day I was greatly blessed. Happy Anniversary sweetheart. I am privileged to know and be married to you.

There’s more though.

Today was also the day Jael, by Chinese standards, would legally become our daughter and that Thomas would meet Jael (via Skype) for the first time.

We rose early to go to breakfast and Skype home. Jael doesn’t eat many things, but eats well. She loves fruit, veggies, and hard low sugar cookies that your find commonly around here…but not much else. That’s a battle we aren’t going to pick right now.

On the way upstairs we met another adoptive family heading to the elevator. They looked tired…weary. It is often such a battle for our little ones. Their daughter looked to be about eight. She was mourning and they were having to fight to get her anywhere. The parents said, “Look at that little girl, she’s not crying”. Truthfully, I understood the weariness, but I understood even more the mourning. The little girl had lost her foster family. The only family she had ever known. I think I’d have been kicking, screaming, and so much more if someone took me away from my family of eight years…sigh. It’s trauma no matter how we look at it. Often, we parents take on some of that trauma ourselves while we help our children to heal. It’s not always pretty, but the battle is always worth it.

When we got to the room we sat down to Skype and, as usual, found such peace in seeing our family. Jael pointed at the screen and said “Baba” when Thomas came on. She calls me “Mama”, but we do believe at this point, though God has prepared her, she views us as her caretakers and “safe”…which is a wonderful place to start.

She met her brothers, sisters, and Uncle at home as well. Thomas is in love. I have to say that daddy meeting his children for the first time is one of my FAVORITE things ever. It’s a time I always cherish.





















We headed off to appointments. I didn’t realize that her nanny and orphanage director would be at the first appointment. I knew we may be in for another bout of heartbreak, but knew it was necessary.

When Jael saw her nanny she smiled and waved, but clung to my arms. She didn’t want her. She wanted me. This in itself was such a huge step. God had chosen her as our daughter. It was now her choosing us…awesome!





We exchanged gifts and now it was off to the next appointment.

At this next interview a question was asked. She asked if we were “satisfied” with our daughter. My answer was, “Oh Yes!”

My thought was this…
“A child is not to be satisfied with or not satisfied with. Our child is our child. If God had to be satisfied with my behavior all the time, I would be in trouble. My bad behavior doesn’t make me any less HIS child. Jael is our daughter and NOTHING can change that. Though she has been sweet and loving, it is the blood of our Savior, not blood that runs through human veins, that makes us family…forever.”

Yep, my thoughts ran on a little longer than my actual words. I know it’s part of the ceremony/tradition…yet (in case anyone doubts) this is our daughter….our grafted in, fully beating as a part of us, daughter.

On the way home we swung by Wal-Mart. Yes, even here….



We really just went to get necessities…orange juice, water, chicken feet (ok, maybe not).

It was so different. It is the same contrast that we witnessed in Russia. Such ancient beauty, modernism, and something that’s hard to put a finger on. They had computers, and modern conveniences, but wrote up and added most by hand.

There are mopeds/scooters (and traffic) everywhere, yet often you see hand woven cages tied to the back to hold chickens (thinking of you Amber...laughing). We're thinking the police officer in the picture below needs to get hazard pay.





This is a five star hotel and the lobby is stunning. Huge restaurants and shops fill it, yet the rooms are not as comparable to the Holiday Inn.









These are in no way criticisms, just me trying to get a pulse and understand.

The people here are so kind. Their laughter genuine (and let me tell you, we probably deserve to be laughed at…smile). Yet everyone seems rushed and often worried about perfection. Sometimes they can seem like they really don’t like you with their brisk manner. It was hard feeling that, but I have found that I don’t believe it’s dislike (I choose to believe that), but cultural.

It’s crowded and bumps are the norm.

The traffic is much like Russia and Ethiopia (minus the goats and donkeys). You find yourself closing your eyes occasionally. I think I’ve become more immune….didn’t even flinch…lol. People do not have the right away here and I must say that makes me nervous.

The pollution is high. We cannot see the blue sky at all. We think that is contributing to our illness most likely.

We love seeing Mandarin on all the buildings. It’s like art. I wish I could reproduce the beauty.

We found that superstition still has a hold here. Jael’s little string and stone necklace was a necklace to protect her…safety. We will treasure and keep it, but snipped it off tonight. God has our daughter safer than any necklace does.

This is a pulse hard to understand, but we are trying. We want to share truth and beauty with our daughter as she grows.