Friday, December 30, 2011

An ENTIRELY Too Colorful Day (Thursday 12/29/2011)

For some reason 5am seems to be about as late as we can all sleep. Jael AoJing sleeps until about 7:00 most mornings.

She’s my restless sleeper. I think she’s not used to mommy sleeping next to her or ANY light. We keep the bathroom light on so we don’t fall on our faces…much needed (smile). I find her, any given night, down at my feet as I doze. The beds are very hard and when I finally have to turn over, I feel a little arm or leg occasionally. For some reason this is less intimidating. I stroke her hair or belly as she falls asleep and that does seem to help, but sticking around…it’s too different to her.

She sleeps soundly when I get up to type my blog in the morning. I know some may say, “Her sleep is important. Why don’t you let her sleep in a crib?” They would be right, her sleep is important…but she has had 3 ½ years of no touch at night. It is now about giving her what she needs verses what she wants at this point.

We are still searching for the “real” AoJing and see a little more of her each day. Still we have no tears and almost no anger at all…just complacency. So many of these little blessings have lost their “voice”. They don’t have choices. Even their potty breaks are scheduled.

Speaking of potty breaks…this is something she enjoys. Often, a institutionalized little one, will have scheduled potty breaks (example: 9am, noon, 3pm, before bed) and there are no exceptions. AoJing has figured out mommy will take her ANY time we can (she doesn’t do this while we are out as of yet). For about three hours today she would say “Uh Oh!” about every 20 minutes. Off to the bathroom we went…potty…wipe…flush…turn on water herself…soap…and lotion. I’ve kicked the routine a little bit in the middle of the night. Mommy makes it not NEAR as fun. I do everything to keep her from thoroughly waking up and therefore requests are few.

Sarah and Anna are such a big help, but (which is very good) she often want mommy to take her. We haven’t had Anna even try yet.

We were all going a little stir crazy this morning. AoJing has a 103 fever right BEFORE bed, but it broke quickly and hasn’t ever since (woo hoo!). We had been praying that either Jael got well quickly or God sustained the Ibuprofen. Whichever brought God the most glory…though we longed for Jael to be well.

We decided to brave breakfast this morning. Though room service is fairly inexpensive, we still can’t sustain that for too long. We sat in a far corner with a VERY hungry little girl. She wanted everything in sight and we really had to reign her in.

It wasn’t quite enough though. We spent a day cleaning up vomit…starting with her room service plate right after it arrived for lunch…yum (smile).

This is a fairly normal occurrence for a child whose diet is changing because you don’t have a clue what was eaten before. I feel a little sorry for the laundry service. Though we rinsed out the towels…yuck.

As I sat on the floor, after a bout of vomiting, stroking Jael AoJing’s hair, I realized there were no tears and she wasn’t even slightly upset. Sadly, she’s most likely used to going this alone.

It occurred to me how our parents love often teaches us about God (at the earliest stages). I read an author recently whose father was stern and demanding. This author’s initial idea of God was the same.

We have a road ahead to show reliance and love to our daughter so she can learn a greater love and reliance on God.

Something else occurred to me as I stoked her silky hair. I realized just how many of these precious children are still there…still in an institution…feverish and vomiting. In one country special needs children are often transferred to an institution between 5-6 years old (I believe). If they have Downs Syndrome, their chances of dying within the first year of transfer jump up to 90 percent. Yes, you read that right.

I can’t help but think how many, even non special needs children, will die from a simple virus that isn’t cared for. Did you know a child over the age of three, even if healthy, is often considered special needs just because of their age?

I can hear Jael AoJing (Ow-Jing) from here. I add her Chinese name as it is the only one she currently knows. We will call her both for a while before we drop it and leave it as her middle name.

She loves her big sisters. Anna gets such belly laughs from her. She also got her first “mad” with Anna. Jael was playing with Anna and the brush. I’ve explained to the girls that, since we don’t share a common language, they must tell her “no” and hold her hand for a second saying “no hit”. If I come over there, she won’t have a clue why. It worked with Bekah, we’ll see….

Anyway, Jael thought it would be funny to hit Anna with a brush and giggle. Anna had to tell her “no” and hold her brush hand for a minute. Ohhhhh…she did NOT like that.

It’s a good thing though. She’s showing us how she really feels. She’s been so complacent. If you take something she wants, she’s ok with that. She still is with me, but with Sarah and Anna….she’s starting to view them as other kids. That’s good…she’s seeing me as the caretaker and them more in the sister range.

She actually seemed a little sad early today. We wonder what her little heart is feeling. The first hour is the only mourning we’ve really seen. She, most likely, doesn’t trust us with that “big feeling” yet.

We’ve been keeping an eye out for issues here. She is amazing us. She doesn’t shy away from most touch, she likes us holding her. She doesn’t want others. We can throw and spin her. I stroke her hair or rub her tummy until she sleeps. We are working on greater eye contact. She gives some, but not a ton yet. As of yet, sensory issues are at a minimum. We know she may be running on adrenaline now and we may see more later, but so far so good.

Sarah and Anna have been wonderful. They are such helpful big sisters.

Sarah just does what needs to be done and makes calls or answers the door for room service…with little fear of not being understood. She is already getting to have the world traveler attitude. We figured out something the other day. She is always the first to get sick. We know she has ALWAYS wanted to be a missionary. I’m thinking this is a way the father of lies is trying to influence her. She sees it though. Illness is nothing compared to the word of God.

Anna is little laughing Mommy. She too has had a mild virus, but is the one that can always get Jael to laugh. She tosses her around and gets her giggling. She is a big help too, yet I still see my little girl in Anna. With big eyes she takes in these new experiences. It’s wonderful to see.

They both got smiles out of our sick little one today. She was introduced to bubbles. We've brought bubbles on every trip and they've never failed.

Both Sarah and Anna have mild asthma with the pollution. Thankfully the doctor gave us meds to help. The girls were celebrating seeing the clouds for the first time through the smog today.

We’ve been Skyping daily with my husband and children. Jael got to meet her grandma (met her Uncle earlier ) yesterday. I think her grandma could just hold her and never let go.

The children in the States are doing good. Tom woke not feeling great the other morning and I’m praying it passed. The twins periodically cry when I get off Skype. They don’t understand this. My mommy arms long to hug all our kids.

Soon…a week from today for us.

We actually leave Nanning tomorrow. Then we are on to the last stage. This stage was the Chinese side of things. The next stage is the American side. We also get to meet some new friends in Guangzhou (Gwan-Jo). Prayerfully Jael will feel better…all the way…by tomorrow.

I’m trying to think about what I’m forgetting to mention….not much I think.

Have a blessed day my friends! Hugs!!!

“’Am I only a God nearby,” declares the Lord, “and not a God far away? Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?’ declares the Lord. ‘Do I not fill Heaven and Earth?’ declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 23:23-24

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful! It was a great post without the pics, but went up exponentially with those precious photos! :)


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