Friday, October 14, 2011

Adoption~Eternal Perspective~The Ache

As I stared at the phone, memorizing the number of USCIS (Immigration), I realized that this is giving me just a hint of what God must feel.

The Ache

Across the miles plays a child, not mine by birth, but mine none the less. I wait for paperwork, officials, and yes...governments to recognize what my heart already knows...what God has shared with me in a whisper.

I ache to hold her in my arms. My heart physically hurts. The gnawing, my stomach feels so sick at the intensity of the longing.

I found myself wondering this morning why this was. Should I just know God has me and our daughter? Is this a lack of faith? Shouldn't I just be able to focus on our children here, knowing God keeps His promises?

Yet still the ache is there...painfully...burrowing into my body.

That's when the chills came. That's when I realized that this is not a lack of faith. This is how God must feel.

We were made in His own image.

Our Children....

Our children, reachable, yet unreachable.

Our children we can feel in our arms before we've ever held them. We wait for paperwork and governments to move so we can wrap our arms around them.

Our children.... that the thought of losing makes taking a breath virtually impossible creating a hole that could only be filled in Heaven... when they are in our arms.

To Our God....

To our God, we are reachable, yet unreachable when we turn our backs. He has given us this choice.

To our God, how He longs to hold us in His arms. Waiting for us to get through our "paperwork"...our "issues" and turn to Him.

To our God...the thought of losing us, because we turn our backs on Him...must feel like a hole being carved out of His heart.

To our God, we endure just a droplet of what He does daily.

What an honor that He gives us this to understand...just a smidgen...

This pain and this longing will go away. Our journey will be complete.

Yet God's pain waits for our bodies to be redeemed unto Him. These bodies, these shells, these temporary vessels are not comparable to eternity.

Adoptive parents have just a taste. Parents that have suffered loss have just a taste.

The saltiness of loss, of love, of longing.

In time, we need to remember this pain when we walk by those on the street...those that don't know him...the prostitute, the homosexual, the drug addict, the thief, the murderer, the alcoholic, the liar, the "easy" girl or guy, those that seem toxic...we need to remember that God longs...painfully longs...for each of His children...and that we are one of them.

We are the hypocrite, the liar, the sinner...and so much more.

Just as we cannot turn our backs on our children....WILL NOT turn our backs on our children.

God awaits us.

He waits for us to wake up and take HIS CHILDREN into OUR arms, until He Holds them in His.

The ache is nothing. His arms are EVERYTHING.

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In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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