Thursday, September 29, 2011

Must Push Push Push...

I read this on "The Blessing of Verity" and it hit home. I jumped up and screamed, "OHHHHH!!! THAT'S IT!!! THAT'S ME!!!"

"But if the pressure is this great now, what will it be like when Katie is home? If I admit that I’m not keeping up, isn’t that admitting that I can’t handle this responsibility? Mustn’t show weakness now! Someone might spot it! And doubt my ability to take on this new assignment! And say I asked for it! Can’t afford to rest. Must push, push, push."

You know as your family grows bigger, you find that some people, how can you say it nicely....hmmmm....just don't get it. They look at our child (because God has told us they are OUR child) and say they are a number. They are detached and look at our child like a choice.

Truthfully, I'd like to say this doesn't affect me. I really would like to say it...but I can't.

For the first time I accidentally found out that a friend was talking behind closed doors about our family. They were talking about the number of our children and the ability to effectively parent many (NOT in a pretty or concerned way OR because of anything that happened) and OUCH that hurt. We know it happens and have been questioned personally (we greatly appreciate the honesty since we don't expect everyone to initially understand), but behind our backs was a new one.

Side note: Remember friends, children sometimes talk or share things you would prefer they didn't.

I pretended to blow it off. I honestly thought I let it go. It came up and bit me again.

I can admit we're sick. I can admit we're tired. Now admitting that sometimes I feel like I can barely put one foot in front of the other OR admitting that at times I feel like I just can't do it....ummm...people might judge me and start asking how I can parent another child.

They don't remember this is MY child. It doesn't matter that, at times, they feel the same way with their smaller family. What matters is we are in the middle of an adoption and, for many, that we are a large family.

How crazy is it that it bothers me at all?!

I loved the above post, because not only did it make me feel not so alone, but it made me rethink my mentality. You see, God KNOWS we can handle it. He wouldn't have shown us our amazing eight children otherwise. My list may be long (down past my ankles, through the kitchen, out the back door, and down the street), but it's not my ability to love AND it's not my ability to take time for each of my children.

I may be far from perfect, but I LOVE the verse...
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." I Corinthians 1:27

Anyway, this post that I've just written is really just to say a resounding "AMEN!" to the quote above. Also, to claim the weakness that is mine. (smile).

God is so good that He gave me a fellow blogger that would spill the truth JUST when I needed it!

God is so good PERIOD.

3 comments:

  1. AMEN Sister!:) And it does hurt...especially when it's family(especially when it's husband's family;))....You quoted one of my favorite verses and I'm so glad I'm FOOLISH, cause then HE gets all the credit!:)

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  2. OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I soooo feel this post!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. :( I just don't understand people sometimes. There's such a balance, isn't there? I find myself editing and critiquing myself between being "real or transparent" and looking like. . .well, like we're complaining or something. I wish we weren't so quick to judge one another, but I hear what you're saying and can relate fully. {hugs} I love that God provided this post to encourage you!!!

    ReplyDelete

In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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