Thursday, March 10, 2011

Seriously God?!!! The Story


Seriously God?!!! Why do we deserve this? We don't actually. We don't deserve to be treated like this.

We don't deserve your care or ever loving kindness. I guess that's what mercy and grace is...loving us even though we don't deserve it.

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I'm 39 years old (yes, the great debate around here is that I feel I DESERVE 40) and I still don't get it. I have been through three adoption processes (four adoptions) and you would think I would understand that when GOD leads, HE provides.

With Max, we started out with ten thousand of the thirty five thousand dollars we needed. I remember trusting GOD, but there was still that fear based in humanness.

GOD provided...every bit. Bekah is so obviously home, but there was still some fear in the process.

With the twins we started with nothing, not even the ability to get a loan. Even with our good credit rating, we had too much outstanding debt with student loans, etc. We needed around thirty five thousand dollars to bring Gabe and Rachel home from Ethiopia. We came home from Ethiopia with no money in our pocket, two beautiful babies, and no debt...no loans or credit cards...none. GOD provided every penny. When I look at the numbers, they still don't make sense, but Gabe's cookie spattered face looks up at me daily and Rachel's sticky hands pat my face.

At 39 you would think that I would stop having anxiety as financial storms hit. After all, I KNOW first hand that GOD provides.

Yet the storms have been pounding. Demands on our finances increased temporarily and weird and out of the ordinary storms have been pounding us daily.


Seriously...I have faith and know so much logically, but I have been feeling weary and not sure how to voice it.

Yesterday, knowing we probably wouldn't qualify, we decided to apply for a small loan until the tax return came in April. We didn't qualify. Yesterday I realized how little we have to survive on until next week. Yesterday multiple things came up and battered the hull of my weak little ship. Yesterday I commented on my amazing bloggy friend's post. She posts and many place their prayer requests as comments. We all pray and many fast. This is what I said...

"I just read the post following this and could really use some prayers right now. We are having constant mini waves, they started the minute we committed to bringing home our daughter from China. satan doesn't like adoption. The waves are like water dripping...constant. Right now I am just weary. Can you please pray for protection against these attacks and healing for the ones that have already happened? Also that GOD's Hand is on our sweet Jael, granting her peace and bring us together quickly. Thank you...."

Things have been happening so regularly, that somewhere in the back of my mind, I was expecting some little wave to try to rock me. I wasn't to be disappointed. Today, when logging in online to see if the status of our tax return changed, I found that they had put a later date that we will be receiving our tax return on. Due to processing delays....

$5000 of that tax return we really needed by the end of the month. We needed it for the adoption, so that we can progress and stay within our six month window to log our dossier into China so we can bring Jael home. She has been in her orphanage long enough...for two and a half years since birth.

Weary is the word when I read that. I knew GOD would provide, but...sigh...really? I called my husband and published the following in an earlier post TODAY.

"As many of you know, we have only six months from the time we received our pre-approval from China to submit our dossier. We just checked our tax return refund status online and they have moved the expected date (for us) to farther away. We can't do this. Right now (with student loans, etc.) we can't take out a loan (even with our good credit score) due to how much we are still paying back. We will need close to $5000 around the first of the month. We don't have it. We will when our tax return comes in (the estimated date keeps on getting later). Could you please pray the way to the funds becomes obvious. We are at a loss and need to get our Immigration started quickly to insure we don't exceed the six months.

God will provide, but we are just weary from the waves rocking us daily (man, I could tell you stories...smile). Thank you for your prayers."


Can you hear the emotional exhaustion?

We had SO much peace financially when adopting the twins. We asked for prayers...but there was just so much peace. We prayed, fund raised, and asked for donations. It was hard though physically. To tell you the truth, one of the most daunting things in starting this journey, was the thought of starting it all over again finacially.

We should have remembered though.

Then there is GOD.

Today (not expected that it would even be addressed today) my husband was given his yearly bonus. It's the second highest one he's ever received. The highest was last year when we were bringing the twins home.

Guess how much it was for? JUST GUESS??? It was for almost exactly the amount we needed.

Seriously GOD?!!!

The storms will not overtake us. GOD is in control. Thank you my friends for praying and fasting (many from "A Place Called Simplicity").

GOD is so much bigger than any obstacle, any government, and ANYTHING!!!!

"He replied, 'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm." Matthew 8:26


Our Personal Prayer Requests

*For the waves rolling after the death of Thomas' step-dad.

*For the waves at my husband's place of business to smooth and calm. For GOD to show him where he can bring GOD the most glory.

*For everyone involved in our home study to feel confident (beyond reason) in our family being ready and perfect for Jael. That we are approved and it all goes quickly.

*That all paperwork may be quick and without flaw (in only a way the God can do) and both U.S. immigration approves us quickly and the Chinese government.

*For all "hiccups" to be banished and a hedge of protection be surrounding this journey.

*For our tax return and finances to fly that we may get started on our journey at a greater speed and that all finances come together with smoothness and speed. Even with the above blessing, we still need the tax return to come through.

*Please pray for our daughter across the world who faces each night alone, not knowing a family awaits her. Please pray that she feels GOD's presence, GOD's hedge of protection around her, that her heart is prepared and ready for family, and that Jesus fills her heart and helps her to be ready to attach to her family. Also for her biological family and their peace and knowledge of a God that loves them so very much.

*Please pray that GOD protects us from satan's attacks. When you follow GOD, satan always attacks.

*Most importantly, that GOD be brought glory and His will be done in all of this.

March's Extra Adoption Prayer Requests:
* Please pray for our home visit and interview with me (around the 25th most likely)
*Please pray for our medicals on the kids(general), Thomas, and I. The kids and Thomas will be quick, but my physical is just before the home study.
*Please pray for our Psychological evaluation: Our agency would like us to do this as an added insurance since the twins came home only 8 months ago AND we have seven children. Not all agencies do this, but ours is extremely diligent. Of course, we don't LOVE it, but we LOVE that our agency is dotting every "i" and crossing every "t".
*Please pray as we apply to Immigration. We need the fingerprint appointment to come quickly, as well as approval.

Prayers for Our Brothers and Sisters
If you have a prayer request, I will be trying to place them at the end of EVERY blog. Just comment or email me and I will list them. If you have a private one, just let me know and I will hold it up to GOD in prayer, but not place it on our blog.

*Please pray for Eden, a little blessing from Ethiopia, who has a life threatening disorder.

*Please pray for Judah, a little one from Ethiopia that is on a medical visa here in the United States. He has hydrocephalus and the doctors are evaluating him for treatment that is not available there. GOD is working miracles, can we pray for some more?

*Please pray for my friends Michelle and Amber who both have parents struggling with cancer.

*Please pray for Donna and her family as they are starting the adoption process at the same exact time we are and have their preliminary approval as well.

*Please pray for the funds to bring Isaiah and Ruth home in around three short weeks. May funds pour in....

*Rolando and Julia (Guatemala-It has been over five years.), AND Junior and Diamoh (Liberia) to be able to finally come home to their families and that these countries open to legitimate adoptions.

*Renae-For the continued transition of their sweet family. Their daughter joined their family this year and they are starting the process of another amazing journey to Ethiopia!

*Daniel (Liberia) and Jeremiah (Taiwan)- for their continued health issues. GOD's blessings and Hand on them and their families.

*My friend (unnamed, GOD knows)... foster son, his family, and all who will make or influence decisions on his behalf that GOD's will be done in every aspect of his life. Also, currently, for his serious health issues.

*For Eliz and their family as they bring home five beautiful blessings with Down Syndrome.

*Please pray for discernment and clarity for Gena and her family as they seek God's will about a future adoption. Also, please pray for their teen son to come to know CHRIST.

*Please pray for our friend whose daughter Kennedy is having seizures. Please pray that they cease and whatever is causing them never returns.




12 comments:

  1. Oh, I'm so stinkin' excited for you!!! I rejoice with you!! YIPPEEEEEEE JESUS!!!

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  2. Weeeeeell, I told you! I just don't worry about these money things anymore! ;o) It took alot of hard lessons to learn this! :o)
    God is good!

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  3. He knows the hairs on our head... What an awesome God we have!

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  4. Oh, I am just blinking back tears!! God is so GOOD! I love how He is so patient to show us again and again (and again. . .). Why do we worry and get exhausted by the constant strains??? I am SO right there with you! Maybe by the time we're FIFTY we will start to get it. . . :D

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  5. How wonderful! I love it when God answers prayers and provides in ways we can't even imagine ahead of time!

    I'm sure you already know this, but one passage that really helps me when I start to fret about money and finances, is the passage in Matthew where Jesus talks about caring for the birds and the flowers. He provides for them, so I know he'll provide for me. At the very least, it's something that I can pray back to Him when the only words I have are full of doubts.

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  6. That is so wonderful! Thank you for sharing another confirmation of God's faithfulness, Kat.

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  7. Wow! What perfect timing. I so needed to be reminded of God's provision. He has provided for us over and over, yet here I am again worrying that maybe this time it won't happen.

    Thank you for sharing your amazing testimony. Praise Jesus!

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  8. God and His faithfulness can just never be outdone, can they? Yippee Jesus! xo

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  9. That's amazing. I was talking with a friend not long ago, he and I agreed that walking in faith can be puzzling and perplexing, but if it is something that He says so, He will provide, and we will know. :)

    Thanks for sharing.

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  10. That is SUCH an AWESOME story. I love it!

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  11. God is so very good! This post was incredibly timely for me, since I am trying to remind myself today that He has it in His control. He wants Misha to come home, and He will see it done. It's my patience and my trust that need attention, not his faithfulness.

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In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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