Autumn Celebration!

We don't usually do a lot this time of year. We often try to visit one Church's Autumn Festival and use creativity in dressing up (smile...you'll see). Enjoy!!!!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Domestic Adoption Verses International-"Taking Care of Our Own"-This Ones for You Tami!

Recently I read about hatefulness spewed on an international adoptive family. This one went beyond the insensitive remarks that often trip over the tongue of those that don't YET understand.

They were led to their children, just as we were. Yet their beautiful boys are special needs. They are unique as a fingerprint and, as with any child, not interchangeable. They are fascinating and lovely gifts from God.

One of the attitudes that we have dealt with before, is ONE that was thrown into the fray.

"We need to take care of our own."

I say "Amen!". Stop sitting there in shock (smile). You see, all the orphans of the world are our responsibility. They are all our own.

James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Notice that it does not say that we are to look after ONLY the orphans and widows in our area. That is a version of the Bible I have not read. It does NOT say, "look after the orphans and widows in their distress only in America or Canada or wherever." ALL children are important to God...everywhere.

This point is almost mute though. You see, as I've said many times, God led us to our children. We didn't choose international vs. domestic. HE chose our child.

If you believe in God's leading, then you know others may not understand and it can be a privilege to help them do exactly that.

If attacked, praise Him (though it's hard to at the time....it hurts).

You are being attacked because you are following God. Satan doesn't like that. When you answer, you may just be planting a seed AND God may be using you to help lift a veil that Satan REALLY does not want lifted in that person's life.

I believe in domestic AND international adoption. I believe in children. I celebrate as each is marinated in the love of a family.

"Domestic Adoption verses International?" Pffft....

The real issue is "Following God verses Not".

Items that ROCK!!!

We have struggled constantly for the last four months with Gabe's severe skin allergies. All lotions and oils have made his skin develop what looked like bug bites...large raised bumps. We actually thought they were bug bites for awhile. We tried everything....everything. We even tried suggestions from the doctor. Mostly we tried all natural mixes.

His skin would get so dry and ashy when we did nothing. Finally, I happened to see a product on the Carol's Daughter website that I hadn't seen before. It's called "Body Jelly". It's made out of different oils and we found it worked when nothing else did. It's a tad messy, but works on both twins bodies and faces. This is just an F.Y.I. for those who may struggle with something similar.
You can check out body jelly here.

You know how you can find a product and be surprised. Surprised that they can actually make a specific product so well. I found that in a diaper bag. With all seven children we have bought a diaper bag. Some have broken, some were awkward, many were not big enough. Most went by the way side and a backpack replaced it.

When we were expecting the twins, we went on the diaper bag hunt again. I stumbled across one that was a little expensive, but I kept on coming back to it. It just had too much of what we required and couldn't find anywhere else.

I bet you can guess what happened. We saved up and bought it.

We have had not a single day of regret. We LOVE it. It not only has enough room, but has enough room for six bottles just on one side (three pockets that fit two Playtex bottles), a pocket on each end, two large pockets (for changing pad and such), a separate "purse" pocket to carry our wallet and things, and the inside....huge (with many organizing pockets).

Okay, enough about a diaper bag. If you are interested, here's where you can find this amazing bag....
"One Step Ahead-Skip Hop Double Duo Diaper Bag"

Sometimes we can find a product that makes things tremendously easier. I'm hoping this "heads up" can make things easier on someone else out there. Hugs!

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Goodness and Mercy AND ADOPTION!!!!

Simply beautiful is what came to mind when I read this post. Kathie's thoughts seem to echo so much of what sits on my heart. She's a wonderful writer and one of those people that I think may just be a sister from another mother and father :). You need to read this post if you have a moment.

Check out "A Sense of Urgency" at "Goodness and Mercy Shall Follow".

I also need to do a public little (okay, actually HUGE) happy dance. I've been so out of the loop that I'm just now catching up on some of the blogs I love to follow. Kathie and her family are adopting again!!!! I just found out and must must must say,
"WOO HOO!!!!!!!!"

I Had A Dream.....

I had a dream the other night. A dream I didn't know I needed. A dream that brought a completion...a healing to my heart. I learned a lot from the dream.

I awoke crying, not for a few minutes, but for a half and hour. As I recounted this dream later to my mom, the tears started flowing again.

I firmly believe God gave me this dream, and as I share some of my past, you may understand just a little...my tears. You may also understand why I need to share this.

I grew up as the youngest child (and only girl). I was a child that was not expected, but loved.

My mom made me feel cherished every day of my life. She showered me with love and often told me.

My dad...he loved me so much. He made me feel special. One of my earliest memories is of setting on his lap and him trying to distract me by reading me a book shaped like a lion. I didn't like it when my mom left and would cry until the door shut.

As I said, my dad loved me. He just never said it. "He must've at least once?" some might say. He didn't though. He just didn't say it.

When I was a child, this was hard. As I became a teen this became even harder. I equated words with reality, forgetting how much actions say. I wasn't jealous of others, I just wanted to hear my daddy say...just once, "I love you."

As time passed and I followed the path into adulthood, I realized that my father's actions spoke volumes. When I said, "I love you daddy." (as I did often), it didn't bother me that he didn't reply. Seriously, I felt his love and acknowledged that it was not an issue with love, but words...the vulnerability of words.

In 1998 my dad died. He died slowly. His oxygen levels slowly dwindling as the Pulmonary Fibrosis won. He was mentally alert and clear to the very end though. Before he died I told him many times, "I love you daddy."

At 38 years old I never even thought about it anymore. I knew my dad loved me and that I was sure of. He passed away almost 12 years ago and he loved me and that's all I needed to know.

Then a few nights ago I had a dream. Tears fill my eyes even as I write this. God gave me a gift I didn't even know I needed.

I didn't usually dream about my dad. The dreams often come months, if not years apart. This night I did.

I was setting across an old kitchen table. I vaguely remember doing something with my hands. We were shucking or peeling something. Across the table sat my dad. We were chatting casually and I stood up gave my dad a hug and said (like I did many times in reality), "Daddy, I love you." He looked at me and smiled as he said, "I love you too honey."

In my dream tears started to roll and as my husband woke me up to head to work, I started sobbing and actually said, "I miss my daddy."

I don't know the last time those words came out of my mouth. I felt like a child again.

As a grown woman, God had given me a gift that I didn't even know I needed or wanted. It was a gift, not of imagination, but of God.

You see, often we think words like, "God loves us so much." We see his blessing and thank Him. We sing, "Jesus loves me." Yet, somehow we don't hear it. God becomes impersonal...far away. We are reminded constantly how God loves our children, our spouses, and we treasure that. Somehow we get displaced though. We are so jubilant that God loves each and every one that we hold dear...that we forget to hold ourselves as important too.

The vine God has woven us into, isn't one of aloofness or a solitary and separate worthiness. He has grafted us into the vine that gives us worth. The worthiness doesn't come from which individual vine we are grafted into, how easy we were to graft, or the way we are grouped (our family) on the vines. Our worthiness comes from the maker of the vine. It comes from our creator and is intrinsically personal.

You see it easy as a mom, parent, friend, to value God's love for others above His love for us. Yet I don't think God views it that way. He knows that in accepting His gift we do need to hear Him. We need to place value on our own lives and roles in his kingdom.

My God has given me a gift. A gift of a dream that brought a reality that I didn't know I needed to hear. I think we all need to hear it though. I pray it for you.

Tonight, as you sleep, I pray you hear your daddy say back.
"I love you too honey".

I did...from both my daddies.

Wonderful Way to Make a Difference

Here's an awesome way that you can make a difference. This family is not just looking at this situation, but doing something about it.

What a wonderful way to actually let God use you to save lives! This could be a wonderful catalyst for others to take that step and make a difference in the world for God.

Check out "Which Would You Choose?"

Which Ones Are Your REAL Children?

"They all are."
or
"None of them, they are all made out of Gummy Bears."

Okay, I will admit that the second response may not be the most kind. I have only contemplated using that one (smile).

Unfortunately,a sensitivity fairy doesn't magically appear upon adoption. There will always be insensitive people. Most are not trying to be cruel or mean. Most will correct themselves when they see their insensitivity. They just truly don't think....

God shows us our children by birth or adoption....we just bring them home. We are family, very real, very blessed.

In answer to the question, "Which Ones Are Your REAL Children?"

"All of them....and maybe some I haven't met yet."

Video You Need to See...A First Hand Glance at the Redemptive Nature of Adoption

We among so many have said, "There is no way."

This adoptive family didn't say that. They've adopted only special needs boys and this video is all about them. It touched my heart.

This is what God's love is like for me. Completely redemptive...hope in the ashes.



Thank you Tanya at "Just One Day at a Time" for showing me this amazing...amazing video.

Media-Horror Movies

First, please know I don't judge someone for a movie they watch. I'm from the "Nightmare on Elm Street" generation. My worst nightmare EVER as a kid was about Freddie. The thought of the marshmallow stairs still creeps me out some...yikes!

Yet, as I'm getting older, I've started becoming a lot more aware of what I watch and listen to. I'm kinda in an analytical stage of thinking about God's thoughts on different media and how we influence the movies and songs made (as Christians).

This time of year is one I have mixed feeling about. I LOVE the creativity of costumes and imagination, but the dark and sexualized aspects of this season seem to glorify the lesser side of our natures. I have problems reconciling the two.

You see, not all the movies I watch glorify God. They are often middle of the road. They don't glorify Satan, but they don't glorify God either. (Obviously this is still something I'm thinking about.)

Yet if you ask someone what a horror movie is about, they usually will say they are about evil...blood, guts, mutilation, and fear. Usually they don't wax philosophical and say, "They are about good versus evil and the ultimate war between the better and lesser sides of ourselves." Smile

The answer leads me to the conclusion...just a logical train of thought...that they not only do not glorify God, but glorify everything God is not about (evil, fear, mutilation). Thus these movies glorify the opposite of God, Satan.

I can find many verses that talk about purity and how to live our lives, but can't find any rationalizing my watching horror movies or putting my money into things promoting horror (though I don't like them as an adult...too much horror in real life).

I would love to hear your thoughts. This is just my train of thought. We've been talking to our teens lately and media has been in the forefront. Please don't feel judged. I'm just working through my personal relationship to the media and would love for you to share your thoughts.

Adoption: Attachment and Night Terrors

I decided to drop in here today to talk about an event that has taken place around here several times. Three of four of our adoptive blessings have experienced them...terrors. Sometimes they occur at night, sometimes during nap, but they are never fun.

I can't fathom waking up, not remembering that I am no longer laying in neglect. I can't imagine the terror of waking up feeling utterly alone again. It's common though, sadly too common.

It is not a nightmare, or maybe I should say, "It's not JUST a nightmare."

I remember when I was 12. I had watched a scary movie at my friends house (not that my mom knew this). I woke up thinking the dream I was having was real. It was not based on any reality or anything I had been through.....just a scary movie.

Some of our children....many of them have lived the fear for real. They may have had a WONDERFUL orphanage and no neglect, but they have suffered such loss that it is not something anyone wants to dream of.

Rachel had one of those times last night. She had rolled in her sleep and the blanket wrapped around her until she couldn't move her legs.

*We have reason to believe she was tucked in so tightly at night in the orphanage that she was unable to move.

She woke up screaming, shaking, terrified. I had to get her to wake completely. She shook as I pulled her into bed with me. She was restless much of the night and scared.

Some, who may not understand attachment and the trauma that goes with it, may think some of this is manipulation.

This video shows manipulation (and it's funny)....terrors are not.



When a child is born into your family biologically they learn that you are there for them. As I've talked about in our series on attachment, an adopted child often needs to learn this. Night terrors are heartbreaking and a perfect opportunity to comfort your child and foster an even firmer form of attachment.

With a family formed through adoption, the difference is that the crying for us needs to be celebrated to an even greater degree. Are they manipulating? Possibly at times, but they are learning that (WOO HOO!!!!) you come when they cry.

Let me tell you, Gabe has THE funniest fake cry EVER....and I cherish it.

God has not given us the ability to erase our children's past trauma, but He has given us the ability to love them through it.

Can't See Myself in a Mirror

Yes, I personally think I may have dropped off the face of the earth. I can't see myself in a mirror. I'm a little worried (wink).

We have been busy busy busy. The last six weeks have brought 5 birthdays and the start of school. We are just really getting into the swing of things and trying out some new curriculum.

Our wonderful Russian born son (Max) just turned eight this year and we are continually stunned at how God formed our family from across the world and blessed us so completely. He's such a driven young man. Trying to do his best in everything, with a strong will that we can see God using (smile).



It's amazing that I now have two wonderful one year olds at home. They are doing great. Gabe's immune system is slowly getting better and Rachel is now full on crawling and trying to pull herself up on things. For those that follow this blog, you know that Rachel crawling is totally God. Our little girl was called floppy and is now giving Gabe a run for his money. They are such a kick and an amazing blessing.

I can sit and watch Rachel's sweet smile (while she clocks her brother...lol) and Gabe's mischievous grin (as he looks back to see if your watching him grab the cat's tail). Just in case you didn't catch it, they are a hoot and I can't imagine EVER being without our sweet little ones.






This year has been a big one for my now 14 year old Sarah. She's gone from looking 13 to looking so much older. It was bound to happen. She is such a beautiful blessing. Her servant heart goes beyond most her age. She truly amazes us every day. Okay...and she's got a crazy warped sense of humor (I wonder where she got that from).



Finally, we have our 16 year old son Tom. Sweet sixteen...though we have decided that "sweet" just doesn't fit for a sixteen year old guy. Maybe "studly sixteen" or some such...lol. He's such a cool kid that really seems to try to keep his life and priorities in order. It is so cool to watch him check himself and be so self aware. It's a gift. I can honestly say I still like (of course love, but also like...) our wonderful teens. They're pretty great!



Well, I have a bunch of posts started...many about our trip to Ethiopia. God has opened our eyes to so many things there and at home and I truly can't wait to share them. Now it's just finding the time to do it :).

I miss talking to my bloggy friends and am determined to getting back to sharing my heart and yours. Hugs...