Thursday, December 16, 2010

Most Common Questions Since Bringing the Twins Home-Difference in Adopting Twins, More Children, General Thoughts

So what do you think the most common question we've received since arriving home? I bet you could TOTALLY guess! It's the same thing people ask immediately after birth. Got it yet?

It is usually phrased one of two ways? One is slightly more positive than the other (hee hee).

*Are you going to adopt again/have any more?
*Are you done YET?!


Guess which one is slightly more positive? (Smile)

It's a fair question I guess. People see a big family and think "insanity". They're right you know. It's amazing, fantastic, God following, blessed insanity...and it ROCKS!

I thought I'd sit down today and answer some of our most common questions and share some thoughts, starting with the above question.

Question #1-Will you adopt again/have any more children?

When we first arrived home and someone would ask this question, we pretty much answered with one pat answer, "If God wills, we will."

Things changed though...after we rested, got well, and generally got back in the pattern of life (though our previous answer is still VERY true). My husband and I sat and talked a few weeks back. We feel God has opened a door and our sight. We don't feel He's closed it yet. This is so different than in the past...it's as unique as a newborn child.

Before we always had God saying, "Go!". Now we feel like the "Go!" is still there and ever present. He works in such amazing ways and seems to be teaching us with every step.

Each of our children are so unique and a gift from God. So when people ask if we will adopt again or have any more children, our immediate thought is...."I sure hope so."

Question #2-Are twins harder?

Hmmmm...well, there's two babies instead of one, but we haven't found a ton of difference in actual "hardness of care". We had to learn how to carry them both and feed them at the same time. I must say that the diapers have multiplied (hee hee). By the time the twins are out of diapers (sat down and figured it out once) we will have changed around 30,000 diapers. We are now considered diaper experts (smile).

Do you have a diaper problem? Kat is here to help...lol.

Both Gabe and Rachel are unique and individual with their individual likes, needs, and wants...but I do think that the fact that they are our 6th and 7th child makes a difference. Our first two were 23 months a part. Our 3rd and 4th were 20 months a part. We are used to taking care of two young children with the needs of two young children. We also have a family that works together and that's a beautiful and awesome thing.

Yes, I'm a home school mom of seven, but there is nothing I'd rather do and have twins...TWO precious blessings added to our fold.

Now the BIG difference I see in twins is the connection. Gabe and Rachel have a connection that I've only seen other twins have. They seem to read each other. They love together, work together, fight together. It's the coolest thing to watch.

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What My Concerns Were When Following God in Expanding Our Family....and How That Played Out

Concern #1

Before I head out I want to talk about a couple more things. My concern, as well as many others thinking of expanding their families, was that I wanted to insure that I am raising my own children. I did not want our older kids to take on so much responsibility that they were raising our children instead of us.

I will not say that our children do not have more to do more than a smaller family. What I will say is that often the "extra" is not due to more children, but the fact that we ALL choose to home school. I don't have the extra eight hours in the day to clean, cook, and do certain activities ALL BY MYSELF (not that we would think that's the best way to go anyway :)). We all tend to work as a team, with Thomas and I as coaches......and GOD AS THE OWNER :).

I always disliked when families stated that they worked like a well oiled machine. It's so cold and impersonal, but now I do understand what they meant. Everything and everyone with their own responsibilities and working together like gears meshing.

I prefer to think of it, though, as a functioning tapestry. Each thread is necessary to make the beauty work. Without one, some unraveling takes place.

Yes, our older kids will be prepared for parenthood (and babysitting). They do know how to change a diaper and make a bottle...that's part of life around here :).

Yet, they all know we are WAY meaner than them (hee hee) and earned the parents title (wink).

Concern #2

Illness was our next concern. Though we were sick for about four months straight upon arriving home, it was more of an obscure, picked up in travel thing.

Illness does hit our family hard at times, but here's something I've noticed. It does not seem to be based solely on family size. I have friends that have two children and have been equally sick. I think immune system seems to be the biggest holding point. We have a couple with immune systems of rocks (NEVER getting sick) and a few of us that catch everything (me being the biggest baby :)).

Concern #3

I will say that finances didn't start out being a concern, and truthfully...we shouldn't have let it get to us. You may remember this financial prayer request post.

"Could Use Some Prayers"

Between paying $350 a month in specialized formula, $2000 in hospital and doctor bills, our brakes going out, and one car dying, travel back and forth for a family emergency...well, life got stressful.

Yet, I kept on having this feeling it was going to be okay. It is and was. I'm not going to share about how this all came about...now. If you check my "Memorial Box Monday" post coming up. I'll share more about God's provisions.

Though adoption in itself is an expensive process...there is NOTHING like watching Him provide and having money provided from the least possible source. It doesn't stop when the children come home.

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Well, that's about it. I hope a few questions were answered (feel free to ask anything in love).

This is the end of my eclectic sharing post (smile). My brain is shooting off in every direction, so I hope I covered everything :).

May God's glory shine through you today! Have a blessed day!!!

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Prayer Request:

My husband and I, right now, are asking for a direct answer from God. We are asking for something so clear that neither of us can miss it.

We, at times, get so blinded by every day life, that we may not give the attention to the things God's telling us. This is a very specific situation. I don't feel I'm supposed to share all the details yet.

Depending on the answer, it may change more than just our lives.

If you have a moment (or many :)), can you pray with us. Can you pray for direct guidance, that we may clearly see God's answer. Thank you my friends....

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" Matthew 19:14

8 comments:

  1. Found your blog through Lucy Lane's. We just had our fourth biological girl four weeks ago but are open to adoption...so many questions...I love the part where you say that God doesn't stop providing once the children come home. I'm gonna tuck that one away in my mind and heart. Thanks!
    Rory

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  2. Four amazing blessings! Awesome! Children are such gifts!

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  3. praying Sweetie! (((HUGS))) to all :o)
    Elizabeth

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  4. LOVE this post! We get the same question--will you adopt more--and we just say "It's up to God, we are content for the moment, but we'll see what He does." But I like your answer and love your heart.

    I also TOTALLY get what you're saying with the concern of the older raising the younger. I feel so strongly about this. Our older kids do more around the house--for example they each clean a bathroom every week and one sweeps the kitchen every day while the other sweeps the dining room every day. These are things I did with fewer children, but I just need their help now. However, *I* parent the younger children, teach them, discipline them, put them to bed, bathe and dress them, etc. They occasionally change a diaper or feed a bottle or something, but it's not an everyday occurrence. That's how we have been able to make it work--they help more around the house while I'm meeting the needs of a younger sibling.

    And I totally hear you with the finances. They've been tighter this time around than the others, but God always provides. . .and still is providing!!!! He is so good to us!

    I am praying for discernment for you and waiting with bated breath. . .giggle Thanks for this post, for making me think, and for letting me hijack your comment box. ;)

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  5. Love this post! It's amazing how God works with/in us and changes us! I will be praying for you and your hubby!
    Can't wait to hear your Memorial Box Monday post! Love to hear stories of God moving mountains!

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  6. Shonya, you are more than welcome to join me on any posts! You can write 'em! I just hope someday we get to officially meet each other. Thank you for the prayers...things are interesting here just now and only God can answer this one and provide a way.

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  7. Praying bloggy friend:)! So glad to have other "crazies" out there to share life with;)!

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  8. Hey Kat,
    I thought you might enjoy this post in light of the most common question asked.
    http://pocketsofchange.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/you-have-enough-kids/

    Have a great day!!

    ReplyDelete

In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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