Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Residules of Orphanage Life

Though I may regret this (smile), the kids are down for a nap and I'm not. I have about a million blogs running around in my head, some I'm ready to write and some I'm not.

Today I just wanted to shoot everyone an update and share the mini trials and the residual signs we still see of neglect. I want to share every aspect for those who may be helped just knowing they aren't alone or just that these things are normal. We've been through it before and it's minor in the big picture.

Every once in awhile I find myself hurting, hurting for the times our babies cried and no one answered. It's not that way now...and they know it (lol). They have already figured out what tears mean. From a child that has lived with neglect, that is awesome!

We still see other residues of neglect hanging on occasionally. They seem to revolve around food and self comforting. Our sweet Max did the same type things.

Rachel rocks her head back and forth when she's overwhelmed or exceptionally tired. Gabe bangs his head on our chests or the crib mattress when he's tired. These are very obvious self comforting behaviors. When a child has no one to comfort them, these behaviors become very common. Our little Bekah had none of these, because she had so much attention and was in a better place before coming to us. There is a good chance, when you see these behaviors, that fairly serious neglect has taken place...not always (there is always the exception) but a good chance.

They also have almost an obsession with food. We were given some incorrect information when we took custody. We were told they took solid food. They didn't know what to do with solid food. We don't feel that anything but formula ever passed to their little 10 month old tummies. This is not said to criticize or down someone AT ALL, but just reality.

When we are feeding them, they often are almost in a panic and will scream if we don't feed them fast enough and often after they've eaten everything (they want to continue eating). It breaks our hearts that they were that hungry.

Gabe continues to be SUPER active. He loves anything with buttons to push, electronic, or shiny. All three? You've made a best friend for life. He has no teeth yet and only wants baby food.

Rachel is more overwhelmed. She wants me to hold her all the time, but will shoot out a smile now and then. She does tend to be more serious. She only wants to eat whatever I'm eating and spits out baby food...seriously fun to clean up (lol).

They both are so funny and full of personality. We do hope to get some "doctor" answers soon. We will start all the testing, checks, and appointments on Friday with an International Adoption Pediatrician.

They are sleeping pretty well and waking up less and less. I am SO thankful for a supportive husband. I get up and feed them usually once at night (around 3am). I then turn them over to him to burp and get back to sleep. They tend to fight sleep more with me and conk out quickly again for daddy.

I actually am mentally processing a series of blogs about travel and transition tips that I wish I had known ahead of time. The first being one on resetting little body clocks. I keep on having things pop into my head and think, "Man, I wish I'd known that earlier." Anyway.....

Quicky update on us....

Well, life is still a little hazy for us. We've been home almost 5 days and can't wait until we have that rested (to some extent :)) feel.

We are SO thankful for the food friends are bringing! I don't cook this elaborately! My family is happy!

That's about it for a quick update...I know it's disjointed, but there it is (smile) in my sleep deprived state. No more Vampire eyes, just sleepy ones.

I promise pictures as soon as my brain resets to some semblance of "normal" or at least "normal for me".

Have a blessed day dear friends!!!


  1. Thank you for posting this...i'm praying for the babies...god will help you all transition. You are all so lucky to have each other.

  2. I'm praying for quick bonding and rest for momma! :) It sounds like things are progressing nicely--thank you for the update! The consequences of orphanage life are so heart-breaking, aren't they?!

  3. So glad you are home! They are beautiful! Precious, precious, precious little ones. Those eyes just take in everything...and I am "taken" with them! Donna

  4. Oh Kat, my heart hurts reading this. Praise God they will probably forget what it was like to be an orphan, never again feeling hunger, no longer aching to be loved.

    Praying for you,

  5. Welcome home!!!

    It is obvious to me that God has chosen the perfect family for these beautiful babies. Take care-
    Kari Slater

  6. Oh, this post put tears in my eyes, those precious, beautiful babies! So thankful for your update, praying with you for good transition, and all the medical help/advice the children need. Your frankness has helped me as we are now in process, and quite a long ways from our goal of a daughter. It is helpful to be reminded so clearly that all the paperchasing and expenses are ransoming a child's LIFE! Hallelujah!!


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