Teen Dementia

It’s curable, though a long and hard road. Many years it takes to overcome, often up to as many ten (though it can vary). It’s and uphill battle all the way and just when you think you’ve got it conquered it rears it’s ugly (and often argumentative) head.

This disease is the much-dreaded "Teen Dementia". The symptoms often start to materialize during the pubescent hormone flux of the early teen years, often around the ages of 12 or 13. It starts with the spasm of the eyes (often called “eye rolling”) and then quickly is followed with uncontrollable sighs.

Though it starts with these seemingly uncontrollable movements, it’s speed of deterioration can vary per child. This depends on many factors. The main ones are external to the child and called the “Parental ‘Put Up With It’ Factor", not to be confused with the “How Long do You Want to be Grounded Factor” or the “How Much Do Want Your Parents To Embarrass You Factor”. Family involvement is very important to insure the slower deterioration.

Your child’s mind will slowly (an unfortunately) become involved. Sadly, usually temporarily, they become children you are unfamiliar with. Their mouths often mimic those of a parrot on steriods. Don’t worry, this will pass, and the occasional glimpse of the child you knew and raised will appear to remind you not put them out on the front porch and lock the door.

They become very forgetful, often sent on a task to have them return…task undone and a glazed look in their eyes. They will repeat themselves multiple times NOT understanding how YOU don’t understand. Parents beware…logic doesn’t work. They will also develop what is called “Knowitallitis” which is directly related to them repeating themselves.

Though rules are necessary and WILL help, they are occasionally disrupted by the “Knowitallitis”. This is when we as parents, as sad as it is…knowing that partially this disease cannot be prevented, will have to provide the medicine that only masks the symptoms and prevents the spread, but is not a 100% cure…”Conseqentceesl” (a foul tasting and often painful medication) and “Discipleen” ( Also often more unpleasant for the parent than the actual teen). Also, found to be most affective and the best medicine is “LivingintheWord” which has also been found to be a wonderful preventative.

It will get easier, at least that’s what the experts tell us. We all suffered from it to some degree. Unfortunately, like childbirth, the pain becomes not so bad after time and the saying is often voiced, “It wasn’t that bad”.

The semi permanent mass often found on the side of their head (called a phone) will lessen. Hang in there…Teen Dementia will soon be replaced by the horrid infection called, “Needingallmyparentsmoneytogetthroughcollege”.

Bouncing on the Railroad Tracks

Once upon a time I said, “Home school is impossible.”
Once upon a time I told my husband (then fiancé), “I want four children.”
Once upon a time I thought these were my decisions.

I came squalling into this world like every other baby…that my mom almost had me when my dad went over railroad tracks didn’t seem to matter. I was born into a world that influenced the views of every infant presented to it. Like a gift, the world grasped and tried to hold onto the ideals I had held.

Ideals though, they don’t belong to the world. They are like sand sifting through it’s fingers. Once this little infant, me in this case, realized where my foundation was laid on the body of Christ, everything shifted and my ideals were sifted.

The strange thing about ideals though. Sometimes we think these ideals are like so many view Science. Grounded in a foundation of what we’ve always known and accepted. They’ve taken root at such a young age that we didn’t even know they weren’t based in the foundation of the earth…the very ground work of creation.

The views that have taken up the pathways of my mind are often challenged. Though most time it is for naught, occasionally they are challenged in a way I can not defend against. They are challenged by God. They are conquered by God. They are torn down by God.

These ideals can, in all reality, be veils to us. I believe we all have our veils. The cloudiness over our eyes that doesn’t allow us to see clearly, whether it’s Christ or His will for our lives. As it says in I Corinthians 13:12, “Now we see but a poor reflection in the mirror, then we shall see face to face”. There are things that become defined and crisp when Christ is the ultimate authority. There are also ideals and truths that appear with time and wisdom, when God knows our hearts are ready.

This was one of those times. God had led us to home school. God knew this fork in our road would lead to another one…one closer to the road less traveled. He dropped a book in our lives called, “A Mom Just Like You”. Yes, I know guys…it doesn’t sound too manly. Though it wasn’t written for the masculine of our race, it changed Thomas and I’s perspective on the way we view our choices.

I talk to God in abundance. Though I don’t ask Him for my breakfast menu, He gets a steady stream of the vocal from me. It’s not like I was walking in my spiritual sleep, yet God had more planned for us. I just didn’t know it.

In the quiet (which doesn’t happen very often) I sat down to read. As I read I started to feel a pressure. This was much like the pressure that’s formed when you try to squeeze something out of a hole that’s just not big enough. You squeeze hard enough and it just gushes out. Yes, I know that kind of a gross vision, but it’s appropriate in this case. God was opening the crevice a little wider for His truths to surface.

It was in an epiphany like a light bulb. If I was glancing in a mirror I would have promised you one did appear above my head.

I realized how much in our lives we were choosing, because I had thought our ideals were grounded and solidly based on the innate truth of reality. It was grounded instead in the truth the world wanted us to perceive. A truth based on the flawed idea that we have the right to choose what we want. We have the ability, but do we have the right once we choose THE less traveled path? The world says we do…but then the world has created a big mess.

Through the bountiful items we thought we could choose, we realized how much was not based on the purpose of God and His realm…His fathomless and amazing grace. We realized that we had told God (sidebar: That sounds SO arrogant, to TELL God anything) that we would number our children. It was not up to Him.

Often God places that special number of your future children on your heart. Often we also may have the arrogance to say, “My will, not yours.”. Through God’s infinite mercy we placed our family in His hands…totally and completely (that we know of, who knows what wonderful things He has planned next). Oh, we thought we had done that before…but when we gave everything to Him it felt a weight had been lifted off both of our shoulders. For God doesn’t place weights there…His yoke is easy as it states in Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” We had just lived with this weight as long as we could remember and didn’t even realize it was there.

We knew our most wonderful and all knowing Heavenly Father may say, “I have decided, and you will have, love, and cherish the five wonderful children you have WITHOUT expecting any more.” He could have and that would have been wonderful, because God would have given us this answer. He didn’t though, He shared with us a greater plan to watch our family expand with the air of his blessings. “You will have, love, and cherish the five wonderful children you have and many more.”

It’s not an easy thing to do. When we’ve given God our lives, why is it so hard to give Him such a small thing as numbering our children. The concept is so big, but the burden isn’t.

As I sit here today I choose to be blessed. I choose to bounce onto those railroad tracks, see a train coming, and shout “Woo Hoo!”. Because I know I can catch this train and it will take me to the most amazing places.

Thank you God for opening up our eyes to see beyond what the world holds for us.

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Please continue to pray with us as we bring our twins home from Ethiopia...
Please Pray…..
*For these little ones God has chosen to place in our family…for their physical and emotional health in a difficult place.
*For their biological family…that God has His hand on them and brings them peace in whatever they must face.
*That God has His hand on this adoption, guiding us, bringing peace, and financially providing. That the funds pour in like water in a surge of blessing.
*Currently we are in the paperwork stage in which many issues can occur. Please pray that God has His hand on our paperwork and that it gets done and processed quickly and correctly.
*Last, though it may seem a bit premature, please specifically pray that once we are referred our little ones, that they come home quickly and pass court the first time (many are starting to have multiple court dates and a LONG wait until travel). The Ethiopian government is being very cautious and caring with their wonderful children though and for that we are so thankful.

I Choose to be Blessed

This is also a previous blog from another of our sites...it's about following God's will, not our own. I know I need a reminder occasionally :). Really though, it's a blog that leads up to my new blog today.
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I’ve fought God, I admit it. I have said “God I know what you want of me” and then stuck my head in the sand . I have followed in Jonah’s steps and said “God, your joking, right?”

Though I believe God enjoys laughter with the rest of us (sometimes probably at the rest of us) He is often very convincing in the severity of what is expected of me. I feel a little like a toddler (ok, maybe it was actually me yesterday) that stomps her foot, arms folded, chin out…saying “NO!”.

I’m still here. Lightening did not strike, but I heard a calm and firm “YES” in my spirit. “Ugg”, says the rebellious teen in me, “I can not do this!”. All I hear deep in my soul is “Yes, you can and you are going to”. He says this because I trust Him, and He knows I trust Him.

Why is it at times in my life, where God is moving in such a real and visual way, I rebel? Why is it so hard to give to my Father who deserves EVERYTHING?

I think as an adult I’ve become more aware of the sin in my life. I like to think that’s a good thing…except it’s not always so easy to get rid of. I hold onto it like a guy with the remote during the Super Bowl. Yet “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do., but what I hate I do”. Does that sound familiar? It should, Paul said it in Romans 7:15.

God has given us an amazing book and an amazing pathway to Him through prayer. There is no answering service saying “All lines are busy now, please leave your name and number and we will get back to you as quickly as possible.” That’s not the way God works….He doesn’t work the way the world does. If He did I would not be as convicted as I feel so much of the time. If He did I would not see the works of His Hands daily delivering the message of the lost and alone. I would not see the everlasting Hand of my Father leading my way…against my arrogance and stubbornness.

How do we get back to Him. How do we get beyond our preconceived notions of what’s right for our lives and back to what God is showing us? How do we get off this path that seems to plod on planned…school, family, kids, career, college, retirement, vacation….on and on we plan….giving God little in the decision making process. There are so many things we take for granted in this life….so many decisions that we assume we can make.

I cannot figure myself out…I petition God for an answer and when He gives it to me I stomp my foot. When am I going to grow up? Yet there is some point where the light bulb goes on. Where I unfold my arms and choose to be blessed. That’s what it is you know…a blessing. It may come in the form of something painful or scary, but God knows what we need to grow outward toward Him. He’s blessing us. The choice is ours though, do we want to choose to be blessed or stumble through the alleyways of life in the dark, missing out on the sweet aroma of blessing that pervades the air.

I don’t know if my stubbornness will ever disappear, but here are just a few things that happened to me when I surrendered.

I received God’s son…salvation and Grace through Him.
I forgave myself because it was not up to me to be responsible for another’s choice of salvation.
I found my children half way across the world.

I could not live with the consequences of ignoring God on any of these. Actually, I don’t know if ignoring God is possible. I’m thinking of a whale, but that’s just me. My whale came in reading words that convicted my spirit. My whale came in lack of sleep and a hand squeezing my heart until I listened. My whale came in the speech of others that I could not ignore. My whale came in dreams.

This is not to say at times I have not done my best to ignore Him. This is to say that when I’m at my best I do not ignore Him.

I am diligently trying to put down my boxing gloves. I am pulling my head out of the sand as quickly as I can. I am uncrossing my arms and relaxing my chin. I am letting go of the teen rebellion, and finally I am exiting the belly of my whale and saying…..
“I choose to be blessed.”

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For those who may wonder what the above blog has to do with adoption…it can have everything to do with listening to God…which is how adoption starts. It is so easy to fight God saying ,”God, this is too much to ask. I am tired. I’m not the most healthy. We are so busy all the time as it is.” Fortunately, God knows so much more than we do and when we put away those preconceived ideas of what our life is supposed to be like….the results are AMAZING. When we choose to be blessed….the world expands beyond what we could ever imagine.

Why I Believe What I Believe-Judgement

After perusing another sweet blog today I decided to post this again.
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The Bible says, “Do not judge or you to shall be judged” (Matthew 7:1). For that I am so thankful. We cannot judge someone’s heart, only God can. As it says in Hebrews 4:12 &13. Unfortunately, this verse is often misinterpreted (and not read all the way through). Misinterpretation is a veil that hides the truth of God’s word. We all read our thoughts into what we are reading in the Bible, but to look at the words of God in His infallible complete Word, we find that God’s meaning of this verse is not what many interpret it to be. The words that are not in the Bible “Judge the sin and not the sinner” have a firm basis in the word of God. We cannot judge the sinner. Who are we to know a man’s heart? Thus, “Do not judge or you to will be judged”. Yet, this does not mean that the other absolute truths of the Bible suddenly become nonexistent. God told us…gave the ability for us to see….yes, sin. We see the sin we fight daily in our own lives. We interpret one verse wrong and it will be then saying that the Word of God is flawed….the rest of the Bible is not the truth. God says we may not judge another…a sinner….but gives us the ability to judge sin.

What is interesting about Matthew 7:1 is that it goes on in that verse…”Do not judge, or you to too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Even if you do interpret this as we shall not judge any thing (including sin) of a person then you need to read on. Because if we judge the sin (not the sinner) in love, wanting what’s best for them and wanting to bring them back to the purity of God’s love (not in condemnation) then our judgments of sin are based singly on the love God has given us AND the forgiveness and grace.

We have to be cautious and do EVERYTHING in love. We are sinful; none of us is without sin. We have to be careful for we do have the “log in our own eye” that we also need to remove to see clearly (Matthew 7:3-5)…to truly go to someone in love out of concern for them, not in ANY way putting ourselves up above anyone…for we are not. Not to gain benefit to us, but to bring glory to God and to aid those we love and are called to love.

In the Bible, from Noah to Jonah, from Peter and Paul and the apostles, and most especially from Jesus....many were made aware of their sin. Nineveh repented and many found there way to the love of God. Sodom and Gomorrah did not...it hurts to think what Lot went through when leaving the city....watching people pass him in the street and knowing that they were dead walking.

We are told in the Bible (Matthew 18:15-17) that when someone sins against us (thus judging sin) that we are to go to them, if they do not turn away from sin then we bring another with us and then eventually we bring it in front of the Church. How are we to know that someone is sinning (including ourselves) if we are not to lay judgment on sin.

When we are confronted by those we love heading down the path to alcoholism...or already there , out of love we talk to them....try to make them see. When our children hit someone, we let them know that it's not right. When a spouse cheats...a heart that is tearing knows that this is wrong. God has set right and wrong and if we declare that He hasn't we are ignoring the truths God set before us. What is the Bible if not God's Holy Word? It is infallible, not a choice. I pray my eyes aren't blinded by my own sin. They may be....but I pray God helps me to see. We are given a knowledge through the scripture that is definite and infinite. To judge something a sin is to look at the infallible word and say that it is right and we love our neighbor enough to share with them God's truth....just like I would hope and pray they would share it with me. I have no right to judge a man, but the actions they take can change the world. We can judge man's actions by what God gives us....otherwise sin would not exist in this world other than what we deemed sin (no absolutes, just what we thought or wanted to see). Hitler, we all judge his actions a sin. Osama as well. The nation can't be guided by rules set by man, but by "every word that comes from the mouth of God". We follow God's rules. For us to truly love someone we have to want what is best for them and to do what is necessary and many times may be painful to help them. If we walked the street and randomly hurt, maimed, tripped, crippled those around us then someone would stop us...albeit none to gently. As Christians we have that opportunity to do this all in love. We have choices. God did not make us to be robotic simulations of true humans. Some of those choices will be wrong and no matter how we phrase it....a sin. Can we not do whatever it takes to keep someone from that pain? Though we cannot make a decisions for them, we can (knowing the infallible word) use the tools God has given us. Yes, sometimes that is laws...God set government in place...sometimes it's boycotts or choosing another form of schooling (depending on the situation). It is easy for us to do nothing. It is scary to stand up, say something, and be told that it is hate mongering to feel that way. God is it. He is the truth.

It scares me, real fear….to see that some, either Churches or leadership, tell us that they will not take a stance on sin. These are those that state knowledge of the Bible, yet deny it’s infallibility. They will not confront sin for what it is and they will not lift the veil off their eyes to see, that belief is not started and not solidified by what those in positions of power say, but by the “very Word that comes from the mouth of God”. Man cannot change the Bible, the absolute truth, no matter what authority they have here on earth.

This is not meant to hurt anyone, this is not politics, this is not liberal vs. conservative....this is the Bible.

I pray my eyes are opened to my sin and I pray all of our eyes are opened to God's truth.

I needed to put forth that this is about searching God's word for ourselves....it is about searching the word of God...seeking Him and His absolute truths. Saying "Not my will, but Yours" and getting past what the world has instilled in us from the day we were born and getting to what God wants to instill in us. I have had some harsh realizations this past year. It was not easy and fairly painful, but a veil has been lifted from my eyes about myself. It's not pleasant or pretty. But I am so amazingly grateful and thankful that God has opened my heart to truths that I could have never fathomed. That's the thing about being blind to God's truth...we get angry, we fight Him (unfortunately I have). That’s just the thing about being blind, we can't see. There are truths out there that I don't know yet. Truths that I won't know until I see Him.

Highchair Theology - The Prayer of the Children

I read one of my favorite blogs today and it said so much of what is going on in my heart.
http://highchairtheology.blogspot.com/2009/06/prayer-of-children.html

Clowns (AHHHH!) and Trusting God

I feel like the two sides of a coin today. I feel kind of like the clown ( and I HATE clowns) with half my face happy and half sad (really it would be a stressed face, but I’m not sure what “stressed” would look like on a clown). A feeling of being overwhelmed has hit me today.

The first reaction of some will be, “And your adopting two more?”. It doesn’t have a whole lot to do with the children directly. I am stressed over something that I am almost never stressed over…money.

A couple extra expenses presented themselves and I’m at a loss how to proceed. It’s not adoption related, but life related. It’s an expense that is normally an easy fix in a typical year. This isn’t a typical year. Stop laughing that I said ANYTHING about our family is typical.

Any prayers are greatly appreciated.

On the “happy” side of the clown, our paperwork from California (that was supposed to take a long time) came in yesterday. We had only sent it off just a couple of weeks ago and here it sits in our hands complete. Also, USCIS (Immigration) paperwork went out today. This is one of the final steps that allows us to complete the paperwork that goes to Ethiopia. This is a waiting step. We wait for an invitation to go get fingerprints and we then wait for paperwork that says we are approved. This CAN be a long wait…we are praying (very literally) it’s a short one.

So you see why I feel a little like the two faced clown (those guys are just scary).

In all this stress, God spoke to me through a puppet (come on, you always knew I was weird). As I sat at VBS yesterday, I heard the kids youth minister talking to a puppet. Yes, there was an audience…I don’t believe he does that alone very often anymore :). They chatted about how walking around the walls of Jericho seemed like a silly thing to do and sometimes things God tells you to do may seem silly to others, BUT when we listen to God He brings the walls down. A goofy puppet and a hilarious Youth minister spoke to me through a skit to teach children. God has and will bring the walls down for all of us….we just need to listen, act, and trust Him.

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Please continue to pray with us as we bring our twins home from Ethiopia...
Please Pray…..
*For these little ones God has chosen to place in our family…for their physical and emotional health in a difficult place.
*For their biological family…that God has His hand on them and brings them peace in whatever they must face.
*That God has His hand on this adoption, guiding us, bringing peace, and financially providing. That the funds pour in like water in a surge of blessing.
*Currently we are in the paperwork stage in which many issues can occur. Please pray that God has His hand on our paperwork and that it gets done and processed quickly and correctly.
*Last, though it may seem a bit premature, please specifically pray that once we are referred our little ones, that they come home quickly and pass court the first time (many are starting to have multiple court dates and a LONG wait until travel). The Ethiopian government is being very cautious and caring with their wonderful children though and for that we are so thankful.

My Father

My dad, my father, always just existed in my thoughts. There is no moment of awareness of what he was and is to me. I feel the blessings wash over me so many days, but nothing as great as he is. There are times in my life that I felt my world was shattered with no chance of repair, yet my father’s arms encompassed me. He held me until I was better. He gave me words that seemed to repair irreparable damage. I remember when I found out my brother had died. It just about killed me. When I found he had given his life for me when he was so innocent. I couldn’t breathe. My father was there though. Oh, he didn’t let me get away with things. I had to learn my lessons the hard way at times, but he always let me know he loved me…even with my numerous failures. There are times where I even ignored him, though it must have cut him, he still loved me….loves me.

Thank you for being my Father, and sometimes when I needed it, my dad. Thank you for listening to my endless pitter patter on this and that. Thank you for willingly giving one of your children for another. I love you…Happy Father’s Day my most precious Heavenly Father…you are my God, my life, my all.

The Cure for the Common Cold

Yes, I know I write a lot about adoption. That’s where our hearts are so much of the time. There is so much more to me though. I’m supermom of course (stop laughing…just because my eyes glow red occasionally, that shouldn’t disqualify me).

I am actually also a home school mom too.

Now you probably reacted one of three ways…all of which make me laugh. Really, it’s not an insult to you, I just live in my little world where it really is funny!
Reaction #1: That’s cool...
Response: I laugh because it is cool, except when my head’s spinning around on my shoulders and I say “Their yours” when my husband walks in the door.
Reaction #2: She must really have a gift to do that.
Response: Ummm…nope. I’m laughing because some days it is SO fun and I think, “Man, I’m really on my game.” and other times I think I’m completely insane….which leads me to the next one.
Reaction #3: She must be completely insane.
Response: I laugh because you’re right and it is the best place to be!

Next year is the first year I will be home schooling four kids. My poor kids. They range from 7th grade down to pre-school. To be fair, we test them at the end of the year to make sure we’re not warping them too much and that they’re at grade level.

If you had asked me three years ago if I would ever have home schooled, the answer would have been a resounding, “You must not be talking to me, because that will never happen. I want my kids to live beyond middle school.” God had other ideas though. He introduced us to it gradually and it was actually my husband that came up with the suggestion. So I face bravely, and plan accordingly, my second year of home school with four children, a son that will be a Freshman at a Christian high school, and infant twins (most likely by the end of the year).

So when you call, I will probably be gone. I will be creating a cure for the common cold. I figure after teaching four kids, going through teen drama, and loving on two infants all day…I can do anything!

The Effect of the Economy on Orphans

The Effect of the Economy on Orphans


In the current economic climate, I’ve heard story after story of the struggle of many American families. I think we all have. There were 650,000 foreclosure filings - which include notices of default, auction sales and bank repossessions - issued in the first quarter of 2007. That represents one of every 194 households. We’ve heard of retirees losing the bulk of their investments that were supposed to provide for them. I think many feel the economy hitting them in the stress of their work environments…layoffs and cutbacks loom for so many. Government bailouts…a quick fix for a long term problem, but not a solution.

Unfortunately, we often forget that the economic situation in the U.S hurts more than just Americans. Many orphans wait in orphanages around the world. They wait for mommies to forgive them for writing on the refrigerator, for daddies to flip them, giggling, upside down. They wait for love. Some are in wonderful orphanages…as wonderful as they can get, not being a family. They get picked up and tickled. They get snuggled for a few minutes when it’s possible. They get fed. Unfortunately, there are other children in orphanages who lack the basic necessities of touch, food, and care. They rock themselves for comfort since it comes from no one outside them. They are not even on the U.S. weight charts. They may be so malnourished that it has now stunted the growth of their heads. Malnourishment starts with weight, then the height is affected, then finally the head circumference. This IS NOT some kind of scare tactic or even written to “guilt” anyone. This is the truth. I have seen it. We have seen it in our own precious blessings.

Many Americans are either financially hurting or fearful living in this insecure economy. Starting an adoption that may cost $20,000 at a minimum may be too daunting a task in this day. Children wait while we juggle finances and wonder what the future holds.

Please don’t think this is to say that everyone is called to adopt…that is a decision between you and God. This is to say that there are children that can’t even understand the concept of “three meals” a day or the concept of “snuggle time”. This is to say we as Americans…we as Christians need to question what we are doing. Are we even praying? Have we ever said to God, “It doesn’t matter what I think I can handle, what do you want me to do?”. This is not said to diminish the hardship or need of families domestically.

This economy is also hurting the agencies. I personally know of a wonderful agency that has blessed our family immensely. They are struggling along with all those businesses out there. Most agencies have humanitarian efforts around the world…if these agencies go under so do many of these efforts.

If they go under because of the lack of adopting families then the circle begins…the children need families, agencies facilitate this, families feel they can’t adopt in a climate such as this, agencies suffer, children don’t find families, agencies fail at the one job they care about, agencies humanitarian efforts start to disappear, the children/families don’t get the aid they need, more orphans are made, children need families, agencies facilitate this….do you see the circle?

This is heavy on my heart today. There is no easy fix. We need to be praying…praying for these children, praying for families to open their hearts that may not have previously, praying for the agencies.

God may not put it on your heart to adopt. You may be an AMAZING prayer warrior for these little ones...but please consider this…talking to God just once and saying,
“It doesn’t matter what I think I can handle, what do you want me to do?”

May God put His Hand on you all as you journey through life glorifying Him.

The Process, The Chaos, The Paperwork (had to throw chaos in there, it sounded more interesting)

Ok, again this will be a blog that’s hard to make riveting (cue the dramatic music). The question has been thrown at us repeatedly by our inquisitive friends, “What is our timeline like?” “When will you bring the twins home?” However, we probably should shrug our shoulders in total ignorance…..

We really do have no clue when the twins will come home…really. Our last two adoptions took on lives of their own (or I should say, a life of God’s).

Max we called our “miracle baby” in an adoption that was supposed to take twelve months from the signing of the contract, took six. Bekah’s adoption was much of the same. Her adoption was supposed to take eighteen months, took nine. We have these crazy time lines that are put in place and God has other ideas. We know it could easily take much longer(though we pray not), but then God knows much better than us when our little ones will end up in our arms. I LOVE the saying, “We plan, God laughs”.

Do we hope it’s quick? The funds? The wait? Court? Travel? Do we hope that it’s like water, pouring into our lives in a steady flow? YES! God knows so much better than we do though.

After all that, I will share with you the basic timeline we’ve been given. Since we know you all have been waiting in intense anticipation (try saying that five times fast…intense anticipation, intense anticipation, intense anticipation, intense anticipation, intense anticipation)….here it is!

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WE ARE NOW AT STEP NINE!!!

Step One:DONE! Application to Placing agency (Adoption Avenues). (Mailed May 6th)

Step Two:DONE! Contract signed for Home Study Agency (Hope International-May 6th) and Adoption Avenues (May 17th).

Step Three:DONE! Paperwork chase and online classes for Home Study and actual Home Study (June 5th at 2:00)

Step Four:DONE! Paper Chase for the Dossier-Dossier gathered-These are the documents that we register in Ethiopia for the adoption. We will hopefully be done with these two weeks from home study.

Step Five: DONE! Fingerprints and Pre-approval from Immigration (U.S.). Will hopefully send off this week and will receive invite for fingerprints and approval within 4-6 weeks…maybe. It was mailed June 24th and the receipt for payment came in the mail on June 30(though showed a processed date of June 25th on the receipt). We just had our fingerprint appointment on July 30th. Our approval just arrived exactly 15 days later on August 13th.

Step Six:DONE! Sending Dossier and Immigration paperwork to Secretary of State to get all documents certified from the State they came from. This includes Texas and California for us. We sent off one set of papers on June 11th, but need to wait for immigration approval (step five) to send all of the rest of the documents. We will walk those in ourselves (Woo hoo! Fun trip!).****We just took care of the Apostille (State Certification) by driving down to our State Capital on August 16th and 17th. We are just gathering the funds to be able to send in OUR COMPLETE dossier now! Woo Hoo! Exactly two weeks from the date we came home (August 31st) we sent our Dossier to our agency who takes care of the rest!!!!

Step Seven:DONE! Our Dossier goes to Washington DC to be authenticated. Usually this is very quick.

Step Eight:DONE! Our Dossier gets sent to Ethiopia to be translated and registered. We hear it takes about 2-3 weeks from the authentication (step 7) to registering our documents. Our documents arrived in Ethiopia on Sept. 14th, 2009!

Step Nine:DONE! THE WAIT BEGINS! Our wait began officially on October 6th, 2009! We now wait for a referral of our twins! This can be a very short wait if no one is ahead of us with the same request. Though this is hard, it also involves an enormous loss for another one of God’s children….our children’s biological family (which becomes our extended family). We know that Our Heavenly Father has brought miracles in our lives! We can't wait to see what He has in store :)!

Step Ten- DONE!!! Referral-We received the REFERRAL!!!! We saw our babies and accepted the referral of our infant twins Gabriel and Rachel on Feb. 8th, 2010.

Step Eleven- DONE!!! Ethiopian Court- This usually happens about 3 months after referral. OUR COURT DATE WAS ON APRIL 30th, 2010 and we passed the very first time!!! (We recieved our date by email on April 12th!)

Step Twelve- DONE!!!! U.S Embassy appointment and Travel-Usually about six-eight weeks after court! WOO HOO! Our embassy date is on June 28th, 2010! We were notified of it as a tentative date on June 4th and finally confirmed on June 16th!

Step Thirteen-HOME!!!!! FAMILY!!! ALL THE GOOD STUFF!!!! We arrived home on July 2nd, 2010!!!!
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Again, the question “When?” is all a great guessing game. God is bigger than any timeline man can muster. Our twins will come home at the PERFECT time, there’s no doubt about it!

Yep, no exploding ice cream cones...this time.

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Please Pray…
For these little ones God has chosen to place in our family…for their physical and emotional health in a difficult place.
For their biological family…that God has His hand on them and brings them peace in whatever they must face.
That God has His hand on this adoption, guiding us, bringing peace, and financially providing.
Currently we are in the paperwork stage in which many issues can occur. Please pray that God has His hand on our paperwork and that it gets done and processed quickly and correctly.
Last, though it may seem a bit premature, please specifically pray that once we are referred our little ones, that they come home quickly and pass court the first time (many are starting to have multiple court dates and a LONG wait until travel). The Ethiopian government is being very cautious and caring with their wonderful children though and for that we are so thankful.

Exploding Ice Cream Cones

I was trying to brain storm on how to make a blog about our dossier exciting. I thought about incorporating exploding ice cream cones, but couldn’t quite tie it together (and believe me, I tried).

We sent out our first paperwork for the adoption's dossier to be certified by the Secretary of State in California today. The rest goes to the Secretary of State in Texas.

The dossier is my ABSOLUTE favorite part of adoption (so maybe there’s a touch of sarcasm in that sentence). Picture a BAZILLION pieces of paper, all which have to be notarized, given your right arm for (which is very difficult since I only have one, two if you count your spouse), one of your papers is very stubborn and refuses to be done right (even after having a serious talk with it). They then all are bundled up and sent to the Secretary of State to certify the notaries. The goal is to send the dossier to Ethiopia for the Ethiopian government to approve.

Doesn’t that sound like fun? It is worth it though and it is understandable as well. Protecting these wonderful children has to be on the top of the priority list. These rebellious pieces of paper are to insure that we are who we say we are, we are healthy, and we can provide for our little ones. Worth it? Yes. Fun? Ummm…
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Please Pray…
For these little ones God has chosen to place in our family…for their physical and emotional health in a difficult place.
For their biological family…that God has His hand on them and brings them peace in whatever they must face.
That God has His hand on this adoption, guiding us, bringing peace, and financially providing.
Currently we are in the paperwork stage in which many issues can occur. Please pray that God has His hand on our paperwork and that it gets done and processed quickly and correctly.
Last, though it may seem a bit premature, please specifically pray that once we are referred our little ones, that they come home quickly and pass court the first time (many are starting to have multiple court dates and a LONG wait until travel). The Ethiopian government is being very cautious and caring with their wonderful children though and for that we are so thankful.

Loving Bekah

“Mommy”, I hear a sweet little voice, “Max say he tell on me!” It may not sound like the phrase most parents long to hear, but then they don’t look into the huge eyes of our little Ethiopian princess. Yes, we are a little curious what she is telling on herself about (her brother hadn’t said a word), but we feel so amazingly blessed to just be able to hear those words.

We waited for nine long months for her “birth” into our family. On June 9th 2007, after a VERY long plane trip, Bekah, Tom, and I traveled down a well-worn hallway to pass through immigration and into the arms of our family.

Two years ago today she met her daddy, sisters, and brother. Two years ago today she radiated such an amazing joy, like nothing we have ever seen in a child. Bekah, honey, we celebrate this day of your birth into our family. You are beyond what we could have imagined. You have your grandpa’s dimples. Your mommy and daddy’s chipmunk cheeks and (some may say unfortunately) you have the warped Marr/Beckmann sense of humor. We love you beyond our wildest imagination sweetheart.

The Home Study

I sit here and wonder who brilliantly decided to switch the kids rooms JUST before our home study. Oh wait…that was me. Of course we had to paint over yellow butterflies and the home made stencils of the 50 States (yes, I did make them…before I had more than two kids). We had a teen that wanted a teen room (so picky ) and girls that were trying to smash painted butterflies. They were ALL sick of their rooms.

Of course I made this very wise (hear the sarcasm) decision as my husband announced his week long trip to Malaysia. I assume he planned it that way to avoid my pre-home study madness. Ok, so he really wouldn’t do that…Ericsson just had impeccable timing during one of my more brilliant ideas.

Yes, the rooms got done. We still have some decorating to do, but the rooms are done. What is even better is that the HOME STUDY IS DONE!!!! Yes, there is joy in that. Dawn (our social worker) has been to our house about a million times, but unfortunitly my oddly tuned brain never registers that until my post home study sanity filters back through the madness.

Dawn came over and visited and toured our new rooms for a wonderful two hour visit. She asked some tough questions. Many may not like that, but I think the tougher the questions often the better the agency. They’ve thought this through. They care about the children and the children are the priority. Yes, it feels a little like the uncomfortable physical with the penetrating questions (the rubber gloves and all), but you come out of it knowing that your tests came out positive and knowing the things you need to work on…all in all, good. We are thankful for our “doctor” who takes things with kindness and has a wonderful heart for children.

So, we are done. Now the real paperwork begins…the dossier. A MILLION pieces of paper that need to be notarized, state certified in the State they were issued, sent to be translated, etc. This is where it really relies on other people, which is always a little scary. If you think of it, please pray for our paperwork….that it is timely, correct, and will come together with as much ease as possible. This is often where glitches start.

Please continue to pray for the other prayer requests below as well.

Please Pray…
For these little ones God has chosen to place in our family…for their physical and emotional health in a difficult place.
For their biological family…that God has His hand on them and brings them peace in whatever they must face.
That God has His hand on this adoption, guiding us, bringing peace, and financially providing.
Last, though it may seem a bit premature, please specifically pray that once we are referred our little ones, that they come home quickly and pass court the first time (many are starting to have multiple court dates and a LONG wait until travel). The Ethiopian government is being very cautious and caring with their wonderful children though and for that we are so thankful.

Growing By Four Feet

In our search to become closer to our wonderful Heavenly Father we have been asking that He take away all preconceived notions of what our life will look like. We have been asking “Lord, what would you have me do?”. Often what God leads us to, we do not expect. Often it is something most will not understand. Most importantly it is a blessing and we are privileged to follow Him.

God answered us with “I have a child for you”…silence for months….”Your child is in Ethiopia” …silence again….We prayed, ”Take away our preconceived notions Lord.”…He did….”It is not just one, but two….twins.”

We know some will think we’re “crazy”, but then again we don’t find sanity too appealing. We know some will worry since we struggled with every virus under the sun this last year. This may or may not change, but we are doing God’s will anyway and doing what we can to boost immune systems and be in better health. We know some may be concerned, please know we are trusting God and that it was a little daunting initially for us as well, but we will step out in faith. We have five beautiful children that we treasure, spend time with, and enjoy…they have asked us for siblings for so long, but we have always answered, “That’s up to God.” (not wanting to ever limit what He wants from us). They are now celebrating. We are not perfect parents…very far from it, but God didn’t ask us to obtain perfection first…He asked us to follow Him.

We understand worry and welcome questions, but we follow God…not man. The perspective we all come from is unique and different…we don’t all have to understand.

We think of the word “perspective” like this. God is in the center of the circle. Christ surrounding Him (we go through Christ to Him) and there is a huge circle on the outside on which we all stand. Some may stand close together seeing God very similarly…similar purposes and views. Some may stand feet or miles from you. We all see different purposes that God has for us. We may not understand each other’s purpose since we stand at a different points in the circle or we may COMPLETELY get it since we stand so close. This is what’s so cool about the body of Christ…His church. We all have different functions and are different. We all have different purposes and different abilities. So please understand, we welcome questions or “YEA’s!”, but we WILL do what God wants us to.

Thank you for praying with us as we begin to bring our new children home!

Please Pray…
For these little ones God has chosen to place in our family…for their physical and emotional health in a difficult place.
For their biological family…that God has His hand on them and brings them peace in whatever they must face.
That God has His hand on this adoption, guiding us, bringing peace, and financially providing.
Last, though it may seem a bit premature, please specifically pray that once we are referred our little ones, that they come home quickly and pass court the first time (many are starting to have multiple court dates and a LONG wait until travel). The Ethiopian government is being very cautious and caring with their wonderful children though and for that we are so thankful.


Below are our answers to many questions that we have received or know
that we will receive. This is an effort to answer any questions that you may have.

May God bless you as He continues to bless us!


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Why Ethiopia?
Our children are in Ethiopia. It wasn’t a conscious decision. God let us know our children were there. Once God shared with us that we were to adopt again, we thought that maybe it would be domestic adoption this time. Are we in love with Ethiopia? Yes. The country is amazing and beautiful. The people were wonderful and kind. The culture…wow…we have never experienced something so refreshing. We are in love with Ethiopia, but we didn’t choose where our children were from…though we are very thankful that we get to be blessed to travel to this amazing country again!

Is it the same orphanage as last time?
No, Bekah was at a very small orphanage. It had between 24-30 children at capacity. This orphanage (one group of buildings) is called Toukoul. It has 300-400 children, about fifty of those babies. There is much illness, though the staff we have been told, is wonderful. The two following video’s are links showing Toukoul.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiuyAesrflI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAeIqGZQcqs

Why a baby? Why not an older child?
Thomas and I really thought about adopting an older child. We prayed about it and left it up to God. We know older children can be harder to place. We love the older kids an are very drawn to them. An older child is just not what God had planned for our family. Our children are infants…they just are and this is a knowledge that God just gave us. We have committed to give God all the decisions in this adoption. His love for all children is very apparent. One in Ten children in Ethiopia die by the age of one. A family from our agency lost a child they had been referred. The child died from complications of Chicken Pox. All children need homes, ours just happen to be little ones.


You guys have had a year with colds and such, how can you handle illness with two more little ones?
Just as with anything, we go with the flow. It’s not that we have not thought it out, we have….we just cannot predict the future. Just as we can’t even predict the health of our new little ones. We are working to make sure the kids don’t eat off of each others plates or drink each others drinks (good luck! lol) and Thomas and I are focusing heavily and long term on our health Yes, I get tired and need a vacation occasionally, but it seems not more than many moms with two beautiful blessings from God.

Our Ages…
Yes, we are 37 years old and Thomas at least will be 38 before the twins get here (I take that opportunity to just rub in his age a little bit). Many of our friends are our age with young children or little ones. Many are older than us with babies. Remember, we started young (22). People assume we are older since we have a teen (not that we look older than 25……yes, we are joking). No matter the age though…every child is a blessing…we don’t see “too old” as an issue for creating a family.

Details About the Kids and What They Think

Our kids are now 14, 12, 8, 6, and 3. That will be about the age difference between the babies and the kids. Yes, we know that we will have a teenager for the next 18 or so years…actually, a lot longer now ….

Our kids have begged us since we brought Bekah home for another sibling. They have begged us to adopt again and have a biological child. That has been the raging debate between the children for awhile now. We have told them that everything is up to God and He (and only He) tells us where our children are and if there are anymore children that belong in our family.

The kids are ecstatic! They already know the reality of a big family and they want a bigger one. Please understand that our children feel loved, cherished, spend time talking individually with us, laugh, receive discipline and are good kids (that make mistakes of course). It just takes a little more creativity…and for those that knew us growing up, I think that’s way God made is a little “off” . Every single child in our family has asked/begged for another sibling. Ok, truthfully Bekah says she wants Sarah to be her baby sister .

We are not perfect parents…FAR FAR from it. We’ve made mistakes and probably will again. Having a bigger family does create more juggling and YES there are occasionally dropped balls. Who of us hasn’t dropped a ball occasionally though? We will always have a ton to learn.

How many of you can say they look at their five wonderful children and think, “Are we missing someone?
Funny? Yep.
Crazy? Some may say yes.
When our kids walk into a room we subconsciously count….I think most parents do. Our kids would be kicking back with us in the living room and we’d look at them and say, “Why doesn’t it feel like we have five in here? Are we missing someone? Though we didn’t know it at the time, God was preparing our hearts.


You are home schooling four next year, how can you home school and bring two more babies into that mix?

Will everyone laugh at me or yell at me if I shrug my shoulders and say “Who knows?”. Home school mom’s won’t . Yes, I have thought about it and have some great ideas, but until I know these little ones, I won’t know which ideas will work. It takes us about six weeks to get into the groove of home school each year. We tweak the schedule about 2-3 times AT LEAST and that’s each semester….that’s not including play dates and field trip days….so much of home school you just have to see what works with the kids. I will tell you that we are starting (or plan to) home school in mid July this year. When the babies come we plan on taking off a month to just start adjusting. In other words, we are planning…God may have other ideas .


Isn’t five children enough and aren’t you doing your other children a disservice by splitting your attention even more? What about your marriage?

Our children are happy and loved. They know they are cherished. Many days at least one child will come up to Thomas or I and say “I need T-time”. This is the name that the kids came up with to say they need to talk to us privately. We (as we said before) get very creative. We are also very family oriented and do much as a family (maybe to our teen’s chagrin…we tend to like embarrassing him). We all root together for our kids sports (of which they are only allowed to play one a year). If the games conflict then we split one parent and a couple of siblings to each game. Surprisingly this has happened (I believe) only one time so far. Our kids are active at Church and Tom and Sarah do A LOT of Youth Group activities. The older they get, the more they’re allowed to do. We have snuggle time with the kids, reading time, play time….We may be coming up on seven children…but everyone of them will be treasured as gifts from God (just as He meant them to be). Please know that you don’t have to agree with us….but know us and trust us to follow God’s will.

My father in law once said “Thomas and Kat talk about everything….even things that most normal couples don’t”. We are blessed to be married to our best friend. We are more in love now than we were the day we are married, which we didn’t think was possible. We take advantage of some of the kids activities and go on dates (mom has been awesome with babysitting and Tom is taking the Red Cross Babysitting class this summer).

Where are you going to put them, you only have a four bedroom house? What about your vehicle?

Many of you that know us know that for the first year after an adoption our children share a room with us. Yes, this gets tricky for Thomas and I, but we’re creative ;). Our oldest currently has his own room with two beds (as does Max). The three girls (by request) share a large room with bunk beds that have curtains so each child can have privacy. We have asked the girls (especially our oldest) if they want their own room. The answer is a resounding “NO!”. When the babies get old enough they will move into any of the three rooms (with an extra bed being in each by that time). Rooms can change and probably will, but that’s it for now.

As for our SUV…we have a Suburban that seats 8. For the first probably 4-8 weeks we will have to take two cars most places. After about 8 weeks we should be able to buy a 15 seater used Chevy Van. I don’t think we will have to worry about space at that point.

Aren’t you worried about the economy and affording life, let alone the adoption?
We believe a blog written earlier this year shows the necessity of not letting the economy stop an adoption.
In the current economic climate, I’ve heard many stories of struggling American families facing layoffs. There were 650,000 foreclosures in the first quarter of 2007, effecting one out of 194 households. Many retirees lost the bulk of their investments. Government bailouts….a quick fix for a long term problem, but not a solution.
The U.S. economic situation hurts more than just Americans though. Children wait in orphanages worldwide, for mommies to forgive them for writing on the refrigerator, for daddies to flip them, giggling, upside down. They wait for love. Some orphanages are wonderful. Unfortunately, there are also children residing orphanages who lack the basic necessities… touch, food, and care….rocking themselves for comfort. They may be so malnourished it has stunted the growth of their heads. Malnourishment starts with weight, then height, then finally head circumference. We have seen it in our own precious children.

Many Americans are financially hurting. Starting an adoption that may cost $20,000 may be too daunting. Children wait while we juggle finances and question the future.

Not everyone is called to adopt. That’s a decision led by God. This is to say, there are children that can’t understand the concept of “three meals” a day or “snuggle time”. This is to say, we as Christians need to question what we are doing. Are we even praying? Have we ever said to God, “It doesn’t matter what I think I can handle, what do you want me to do?”.

This economy is hurting the agencies. We know of a wonderful agency struggling financially. Their humanitarian aid suffers too.

If agencies fail because of the lack of adopting families, the circle begins… children need families, agencies facilitate, families feel they can’t adopt in this climate , agencies suffer, children don’t find families, agencies falter, agency’s humanitarian aid disappears, families don’t get the aid they need, more orphans made, children need families, agencies facilitate….do you see the circle?

We need to be praying…praying for these children, praying for families to open their hearts that may not have previously, praying for the agencies.

God may not put it on your heart to adopt. You may be an AMAZING prayer warrior ...but please consider this…talking to God and saying,
“It doesn’t matter what I think I can handle, what do you want me to do?”

May God put His Hand on you all as you journey through life glorifying Him.



Why now, why can’t you wait until a couple of the children you have now are older?

We can answer this in two parts. First and foremost is because now is when God directed us to. We obey God, not man. Second we DO have a bunch of logical reasons. Many agencies require that there not be more than 40 years between parents and child. Since we are now 37, that gives us a limited time (knowing the unpredictability of the length of an adoption process). Tom is also going to be 15 at the end of this year and we want him to have the chance to know his siblings before he’s off to college. Finally, we end this with a question. “Why not now?”

Why more than one, isn’t one baby enough to handle?

That’s easy, because God told us we had two. Wow…that was the easiest question yet!

Can you honestly say God called you and that this is not just your caring for the children of the world OR just a love for the adoption process?

I can say that after God and our family, love and care for orphans is our passion. We ache for them. We hurt for them. They are not all in our immediate family though. They will not all join our physical family (though we hope our Spiritual). God tells us where (and when) our children are…when instead of where with our biological. We just bring them home. We don’t create a fantasy in a pile of dirty dishes or changing a smelly diaper. We don’t romanticize the reality that parenting can be hard. What we do is realize that God will show us if and when we have another child and He did. We had preconceived notions of our family size…now we don’t.

The adoption process…there is no way to romanticize that for us. We GET to gather a ton and a half of paperwork. You count on glitches…at least one paper will have to be redone at least 3 times. You get fingerprinted, which may or may not be good enough the first time AND then you wait (sometimes a long time…though not typically for us) for your approval by the U.S. government to adopt. You invite a social worker into your house (though our Social Worker is awesome) to evaluate your family. You know you’ll be fine, but go nuts before it anyway. You send your paperwork to the country and hope, after all that work, that they will choose you to parent their children. This process in necessary and good to keep the children safe….but not easy. Then you (knowing your child already has his or her footprint in your heart) WAIT…and WAIT…and WAIT. You finally receive a referral and see your beautiful child…and WAIT again for court and your embassy date. You hope that you pass court the first time.

We will admit that we LOVE the travel. We DO love seeing my children for the first time. The process though we would gladly choose to forgo and just have our babies home in our arms. We would love to be able to snap our fingers and there be no process for us this time, but God has taught us patience through these processes….we don’t learn patience easily . So to say we are in love with the process…not so much. Are we in love with our babies? Absolutely!