Monday, June 29, 2009

Teen Dementia

It’s curable, though a long and hard road. Many years it takes to overcome, often up to as many ten (though it can vary). It’s and uphill battle all the way and just when you think you’ve got it conquered it rears it’s ugly (and often argumentative) head.

This disease is the much-dreaded "Teen Dementia". The symptoms often start to materialize during the pubescent hormone flux of the early teen years, often around the ages of 12 or 13. It starts with the spasm of the eyes (often called “eye rolling”) and then quickly is followed with uncontrollable sighs.

Though it starts with these seemingly uncontrollable movements, it’s speed of deterioration can vary per child. This depends on many factors. The main ones are external to the child and called the “Parental ‘Put Up With It’ Factor", not to be confused with the “How Long do You Want to be Grounded Factor” or the “How Much Do Want Your Parents To Embarrass You Factor”. Family involvement is very important to insure the slower deterioration.

Your child’s mind will slowly (an unfortunately) become involved. Sadly, usually temporarily, they become children you are unfamiliar with. Their mouths often mimic those of a parrot on steriods. Don’t worry, this will pass, and the occasional glimpse of the child you knew and raised will appear to remind you not put them out on the front porch and lock the door.

They become very forgetful, often sent on a task to have them return…task undone and a glazed look in their eyes. They will repeat themselves multiple times NOT understanding how YOU don’t understand. Parents beware…logic doesn’t work. They will also develop what is called “Knowitallitis” which is directly related to them repeating themselves.

Though rules are necessary and WILL help, they are occasionally disrupted by the “Knowitallitis”. This is when we as parents, as sad as it is…knowing that partially this disease cannot be prevented, will have to provide the medicine that only masks the symptoms and prevents the spread, but is not a 100% cure…”Conseqentceesl” (a foul tasting and often painful medication) and “Discipleen” ( Also often more unpleasant for the parent than the actual teen). Also, found to be most affective and the best medicine is “LivingintheWord” which has also been found to be a wonderful preventative.

It will get easier, at least that’s what the experts tell us. We all suffered from it to some degree. Unfortunately, like childbirth, the pain becomes not so bad after time and the saying is often voiced, “It wasn’t that bad”.

The semi permanent mass often found on the side of their head (called a phone) will lessen. Hang in there…Teen Dementia will soon be replaced by the horrid infection called, “Needingallmyparentsmoneytogetthroughcollege”.

1 comment:

  1. We are still going through the teen dementia and about to head into the needallmyparentsmoneytogetthroughcollege! Man...my brain hurts!

    Love it!!!

    ReplyDelete

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