Saturday, June 27, 2009

Bouncing on the Railroad Tracks

Once upon a time I said, “Home school is impossible.”
Once upon a time I told my husband (then fiancé), “I want four children.”
Once upon a time I thought these were my decisions.

I came squalling into this world like every other baby…that my mom almost had me when my dad went over railroad tracks didn’t seem to matter. I was born into a world that influenced the views of every infant presented to it. Like a gift, the world grasped and tried to hold onto the ideals I had held.

Ideals though, they don’t belong to the world. They are like sand sifting through it’s fingers. Once this little infant, me in this case, realized where my foundation was laid on the body of Christ, everything shifted and my ideals were sifted.

The strange thing about ideals though. Sometimes we think these ideals are like so many view Science. Grounded in a foundation of what we’ve always known and accepted. They’ve taken root at such a young age that we didn’t even know they weren’t based in the foundation of the earth…the very ground work of creation.

The views that have taken up the pathways of my mind are often challenged. Though most time it is for naught, occasionally they are challenged in a way I can not defend against. They are challenged by God. They are conquered by God. They are torn down by God.

These ideals can, in all reality, be veils to us. I believe we all have our veils. The cloudiness over our eyes that doesn’t allow us to see clearly, whether it’s Christ or His will for our lives. As it says in I Corinthians 13:12, “Now we see but a poor reflection in the mirror, then we shall see face to face”. There are things that become defined and crisp when Christ is the ultimate authority. There are also ideals and truths that appear with time and wisdom, when God knows our hearts are ready.

This was one of those times. God had led us to home school. God knew this fork in our road would lead to another one…one closer to the road less traveled. He dropped a book in our lives called, “A Mom Just Like You”. Yes, I know guys…it doesn’t sound too manly. Though it wasn’t written for the masculine of our race, it changed Thomas and I’s perspective on the way we view our choices.

I talk to God in abundance. Though I don’t ask Him for my breakfast menu, He gets a steady stream of the vocal from me. It’s not like I was walking in my spiritual sleep, yet God had more planned for us. I just didn’t know it.

In the quiet (which doesn’t happen very often) I sat down to read. As I read I started to feel a pressure. This was much like the pressure that’s formed when you try to squeeze something out of a hole that’s just not big enough. You squeeze hard enough and it just gushes out. Yes, I know that kind of a gross vision, but it’s appropriate in this case. God was opening the crevice a little wider for His truths to surface.

It was in an epiphany like a light bulb. If I was glancing in a mirror I would have promised you one did appear above my head.

I realized how much in our lives we were choosing, because I had thought our ideals were grounded and solidly based on the innate truth of reality. It was grounded instead in the truth the world wanted us to perceive. A truth based on the flawed idea that we have the right to choose what we want. We have the ability, but do we have the right once we choose THE less traveled path? The world says we do…but then the world has created a big mess.

Through the bountiful items we thought we could choose, we realized how much was not based on the purpose of God and His realm…His fathomless and amazing grace. We realized that we had told God (sidebar: That sounds SO arrogant, to TELL God anything) that we would number our children. It was not up to Him.

Often God places that special number of your future children on your heart. Often we also may have the arrogance to say, “My will, not yours.”. Through God’s infinite mercy we placed our family in His hands…totally and completely (that we know of, who knows what wonderful things He has planned next). Oh, we thought we had done that before…but when we gave everything to Him it felt a weight had been lifted off both of our shoulders. For God doesn’t place weights there…His yoke is easy as it states in Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” We had just lived with this weight as long as we could remember and didn’t even realize it was there.

We knew our most wonderful and all knowing Heavenly Father may say, “I have decided, and you will have, love, and cherish the five wonderful children you have WITHOUT expecting any more.” He could have and that would have been wonderful, because God would have given us this answer. He didn’t though, He shared with us a greater plan to watch our family expand with the air of his blessings. “You will have, love, and cherish the five wonderful children you have and many more.”

It’s not an easy thing to do. When we’ve given God our lives, why is it so hard to give Him such a small thing as numbering our children. The concept is so big, but the burden isn’t.

As I sit here today I choose to be blessed. I choose to bounce onto those railroad tracks, see a train coming, and shout “Woo Hoo!”. Because I know I can catch this train and it will take me to the most amazing places.

Thank you God for opening up our eyes to see beyond what the world holds for us.

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Please continue to pray with us as we bring our twins home from Ethiopia...
Please Pray…..
*For these little ones God has chosen to place in our family…for their physical and emotional health in a difficult place.
*For their biological family…that God has His hand on them and brings them peace in whatever they must face.
*That God has His hand on this adoption, guiding us, bringing peace, and financially providing. That the funds pour in like water in a surge of blessing.
*Currently we are in the paperwork stage in which many issues can occur. Please pray that God has His hand on our paperwork and that it gets done and processed quickly and correctly.
*Last, though it may seem a bit premature, please specifically pray that once we are referred our little ones, that they come home quickly and pass court the first time (many are starting to have multiple court dates and a LONG wait until travel). The Ethiopian government is being very cautious and caring with their wonderful children though and for that we are so thankful.

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In the joy of following our Heavenly Father, we sometimes choose to proceed with a whisper, a verse, or a downright shove...no matter how we follow Him, the momentum that follows is like nothing we've ever experienced before.

Join the momentum...it is a beautiful place to be. It's not always easy, but then the best things never are.

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